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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have sent them packing?

111 replies

Krytes42 · 07/09/2014 07:41

The situation:
An older lady and a teenage girl, wielding pamphlets, knock on our door.
Lady: Hi, we're members of_ church, which has just opened up in the neighbourhood.
Me: Oh, we're not religious.
Lady: Well, then, you're just the people we want to see! Have you considered...
Me: We're not religious and we don't want to become religious.
Lady: Oh, well, religion isn't everything. You could just join our...
Me: We don't want to become members of a church.
Lady: Well, will you just read this pamphlet?
Me: No thank you.
Lady: Can I just leave one in your mailbox?
Me: No thank you.
They bugger off

My husband heard this exchange and was shocked that I was so abrupt with them. He would have said something polite and tried to avoid refusing them outright, in part because of their sex and ages. Proselytizing religions really get on my nerves, and I feel that I was as polite as necessary to someone who wouldn't take the hint that I wasn't interested.

OP posts:
puntasticusername · 07/09/2014 09:21

YANBU.

I had this the other day with a guy trying to flog bloody vegetable boxes. He arrived at teatime as I was trying to feed a fractious baby and a 3yo single handed, so I said "Thanks, but I'm too busy to talk now and anyway, I don't think this is for us".

He said "why don't you think it's for you? Don't you eat fruit and vegetables or something?".

FUCK OFF!

(I didn't actually say that, but I did want to).

SugarSkully · 07/09/2014 09:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RubyGoat · 07/09/2014 09:30

Haha Puntastic I had a similar thing once with some charity collector while I was on Mat Leave. DD was quite poorly that day (she tends to projectile vomit, copiously, when ill), I felt like asking him to come in & help. I thought I was quite restrained with just a quick no thanks.

AnotherGirlsParadise · 07/09/2014 09:31

I don't think you were rude at all. I was brought up in a loud, obnoxious Jewish family and am now a quietly sincere atheist - I don't feel the need to shove my non-belief down others' throats (Dickie Dawkins I am not!), so whilst I'm polite to door knockers, I make it quite clear that they're wasting their time.

I do always accept a copy of The Watchtower though, because it never fails to make me giggle Grin

firesidechat · 07/09/2014 09:38

I'm a Christian and your conversation sounds almost identical to the one I would have had in those circumstances. You weren't rude, just firm.

When I was a new Christian there was considerable pressure to join in the door knocking crusades. I hated it at the time and cringe with embarrassment at the thought of it now.

MrsPiggie · 07/09/2014 09:38

I would have done the same. I try to be polite but they bore me to death. DH on the other hand has once invited them in and offered tea and had a conversation with them (he's not religious but wanted to be polite). They were really nice people but after that they kept coming back asking for him. They never tried to talk to me since DH had told them I wasn't interested but it took ages before they stopped coming trying to find him. I feel sorry for these people sometimes.

ghostland · 07/09/2014 09:47

I actually think it is really rude when people come soliciting at strangers doors for religion/charity/household goods to sell. I think it is especially bad PR when religious people turn up trying to proselytize. If their religion is so good, why do they need to actively seek new members. Surely an enlightened religion does not have to "seek" members and try and impose their beliefs on others who have not asked for them to. It's just plain rude.

CalamityKate1 · 07/09/2014 09:47

I'd be fascinated to hear how those posters saying you were rude would have handled the exchange.

You weren't rude at all IMO, nor even particularly abrupt. Just direct.

Icimoi · 07/09/2014 09:47

I had a JW at my door a few days ago. An older man. He was absolutely lovely and we had a long interesting chat despite me not wanting to join his church. I took his leaflet out of politeness even though I didn't read it.

You will live to regret that, littlewhitebag. They will certainly be back.

Friend of mine was once guilt-tripped by a JW into inviting her and her child in because she asked for some water for the child. She had quite a lot of difficulty getting them out again, and they came round repeatedly afterwards. She became quite paranoid about it, not daring to answer her door, but even then they came round the back of the house looking for her and she had to do a quick retreat under the kitchen table.

millionsofpeaches · 07/09/2014 09:53

Before I was born my parents had moved to a remote area of Cornwall and I think my mum was a bit lonely. Some people knocked on the door and she invited them in thinking they were the new neighbours. It took several cups of tea and plate of biscuits before she realised they we JWs Grin

DH does something similar to maras2' s dad. He has his own unique Hmm brand of religion based on polysolypsism (sp?) He had a very long conversation with a couple of young Mormons in the pouring rain a while ago. Poor lads didn't know what hit them and they've never called again although I have seen them on the estate Smile

Fwiw i think you were very restrained op.

WyrdByrd · 07/09/2014 09:59

You were considerably less abrupt than I would have been - my usual MO is to refuse politely but firmly then shut the door before they can continue!

Sicaq · 07/09/2014 10:00

I think you were polite: assertive, as you should have been, but polite.

I'm not a believer but my mother is Christian, and she sends door-knockers packing too. Her church believes that people have to make their own choice whether or not to come to church, and all a Christian should do is be ready to welcome them when/if they do.

SmellyFartado · 07/09/2014 10:08

That is certainly not abrupt or rude. I hate door knockers esp JW and am far ruder

insanityscratching · 07/09/2014 10:13

I usually just say no thank you and close the door.My adult son when he answered asked for their address so that he could knock on their door at a time that most suited him instead to talk about a subject of his choosing. Funnily enough they were most reluctant to do so which ds told them illustrated the fact it was bloody annoying having people turning up unannounced and uninvited on your doorstep wanting to discuss something you have no interest in. That particular posse never knocked again Grin

canyou · 07/09/2014 10:23

I feel sorry for them, we have a JW church group near us, the missionary's seem so young. I have invite them in and fed them tea and cake a few times but always express that we are Catholic and in the weather conditions I am doing a Christian act Smile I dropped them back to the church after, they were lonely kids. They have come back a few times usually to tell me what they were up to, tourist things they have seen etc and now they are back in America I get 'candy' and the odd letter from them.
Op you were not rude and tbh I can be like you at the door but usually with sales people I feel sorry for the young JW we get around here and hope that if my DC travel the world people will look out for them

BoiledPiss · 07/09/2014 10:25

I don't think you were rude at all, or even abrupt... And i am the most self apologetic person ever!!

BlackeyedSusan · 07/09/2014 10:28

well they achieved their objective didn't they? [sarcastic] I presume now you want even less to do with them now.

StUmbrageinSkelt · 07/09/2014 10:36

I said no thanks once and shut the door.

Next thing he was on the front lawn flamboyantly praying to throw the demons out of me and out of my house.

PMSL.

HauntedNoddyCar · 07/09/2014 10:36

Rude is my DF.
JW: Hi! Me and my family are calling on some friends ...
DF: Is this religious
JW: Why yes!
DF: Well bugger off then.

I usually say straight away that I have my own beliefs that I don't want to discuss and I'm happy with them. It seems to make them think I'm a religious type rather than a raving atheist and one lady told me how lovely it was to meet a person with strong beliefs :)

TheBloodManCometh · 07/09/2014 10:43

I personally think they're isn't much you could do that would be ruder than invading someone's personal space by disturbing them at home and trying to push unwanted stuff/views upon them.

You could always pretend to be a satanist. I bet that would have them moving on fairly quickly.
Still not ruder IMO as it's a religious viewpoint that your just sharing.

WellnowImFucked · 07/09/2014 10:43

By my standards you were hugely polite, though I do live in a town with a very active JW and Mormon community. So if you have one knocking you'll have the other in about 2days.

OH (Sikh) had never experienced either till we moved here. Funny that they don't go round 'Indian' areas. . . .

He thought I was rude too when I said no thanks and shut the door, until I left him to answer the door and be preached at for 40 minutes.

What really pisses me off is we work with a JW, she's contacted the local chaper on our behalf and said we're 'no visit' but once they see the Mormons knock they're round.

TheBloodManCometh · 07/09/2014 10:44

StUmbrageinSkelt

I am agog with curiosity as to what "flamboyant praying" looks like Grin

MrsCosmopilite · 07/09/2014 10:46

I had something similar last week.

Smartly dressed guy knocked at the door. Holding briefcase and sheaf of leaflets.
Him: "Hello, I wonder if you'd like one of our leaflets?"
Me: "No thankyou, I'm not interested"
Him: "Ah. Well, it's only about our website" (shows me front of leaflet which has a cloud with heavenly rays emanating, and something about God).
Me: "No thankyou, I'm really not interested"
Him "Oh, but you see-"
Me: "No thankyou. I'm not interested. Must go" (Shut door)

We have a sign on our window/door (inherited from previous occupant) to say we don't buy or sell at the door. I may have to amend it to say we don't engage in religious debate or purchase either.

TheBloodManCometh · 07/09/2014 10:49

The thing that pisses me off is the amount of shit atheists would get if they went round to religious people's houses to tell them their beliefs were wrong.
In fact, that would probably be seen as abusive and illegal.
I see it as no different the other way around.

mollypup · 07/09/2014 10:51

I don't think there's any need to be rude, they always seem like nice enough people (albeit with slightly skewed views). I'm Catholic and tell them that when they call, they've never tried to make me convert, pray with them etc etc. I do feel a bit sorry for the young teens, however that being said I know a couple who left the LDS and are fine so it as long as they can make their own choices, what's the problem?

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