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AIBU?

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Original poster

Toddler stamped on spider

176 replies

Pugaboo · 06/09/2014 23:06

I'm probably being ridiculous but...

The other day we were leaving the house and there was a spider outside our door. DS (20 mo) saw it and immediately stamped on it and killed it. I was surprised and a little bit upset tbh - I'm not a big fan on spiders but don't believe in killing any creatures unnecessarily and although I know he's probably too young to get it I told him that we don't stamp on insects on purpose.

AIBU to think this is learned behaviour, and not just something he randomly did? He never stamps on anything usually (except puddles).

OP posts:
KERALA1 · 06/09/2014 23:34

My dd did this at a similar age I was horrified and sickened. She is now an 8 year old animal lover who would never do this in a million years. It's an age thing not an indicator of character

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 06/09/2014 23:36

I spend my life catching spiders in glasses and opening windows for wasps and flies. My children are super-kind to all animals and are not scared of snakes, insects, spiders or anything. They stroked snakes, lizards and a tarantula at a creepy crawly show last week and I was impress with their confidence. So I would say make sure you model calm and kind behaviour around spiders and insects and he will be kind to them too. I would have said something like "don't stand on spiders it is unkind" he's quite little but I'm he'll appreciate the message soon.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 06/09/2014 23:38

My two are 4 and 6 by the way so much older than your DS but they have never been afraid of creepy crawlies and I think that's because I'm not.

AgentZigzag · 06/09/2014 23:41

I've killed them in the past, but I really did take their tiny life force from them unwillingly, and I only did it if they threatened my life (by anonymous letter Hmm handwriting looked like a spider crawling across the page...oh, hang on...)

ScarlettlovesRhett · 06/09/2014 23:57

I kill, or contract others to kill or remove, any spider that is stupid enough to enter my home and make its presence known.

They are not 'God's creatures', they are sent by the devil himself to torture my mind.

Thankfully, my children and husband are not scared of them at all.

kslatts · 06/09/2014 23:58

I think you are over-reacting.

pregnantpause · 07/09/2014 00:08

I can only imagine dcs aibu-

aibu to feel under appreciated and let down by my dms reaction to my heroics? I saved her from a vile crawling thing this morning, a thing threatening to come over the threshold of the home she lovingly keeps for us- threatening to crawl and creep all over the whole family and our possessions- bravely I stood up, strapped on a pair and tackled this invasion head on- now she's calling me a murderer and referring me to a psychologist in case I turn on the dogShockWinkGrin aibu to stamp on her too ?!GrinWink

Alisvolatpropiis · 07/09/2014 00:18

Pug

I think the serial killer thing relates to older children who enjoy torturing and killing animals...animals generally considered to be cute.

I will pay him minimum wage into a trust you can control of you are willing to loan him out for his stamping services though. Wink

LoveBeingAwakeInTheNight · 07/09/2014 00:23

My ds is defo like this and will stamp on anything that moves, then loves to look at it Confused

PhaedraIsMyName · 07/09/2014 01:56

I'm going against the flow here but I do think stamping on a living creature is a strange reaction.

halestone · 07/09/2014 01:59

Howling at this threadGrin

My 20 month old DD is also a serial spider killer. She also has an intense dislike of flys and has surprising ability of catching them and killing them.

TheCunkOfPhilomena · 07/09/2014 02:19

The lovely big house spider that I allowed to live here, rent free I might add, passed away 3 nights ago (may he rest in peace).

This evening I've noticed far more flies than normal. Spiders are good!

OP, please don't give this a second thought. Toddlers are a law unto themselves and, IMO, you reacted well by telling him we don't stamp on insects.

Roonerspism · 07/09/2014 02:21

I think toddlers learn it from other kids. Mine did this.

I'm going against the other theme if this thread. That it is ok to stamp on a creature because you don't like it. I find this very odd behaviour in adults! There have been a few MN threads on spiders recently so I understand I'm in the minority.

So I have re-trained mine. We now look at spiders with wonder and gently put them outside. Spiders are amazing creatures and also get rid of flies.

I wouldn't worry about your kid showing worrying traits :) but secretly I don't like adults that happily do this. I think it's disrespectful of life and I'm happy to be flamed :)

Bulbasaur · 07/09/2014 02:29

I'd have given him a candy and told him to find the rest.

slithytove · 07/09/2014 02:32

It's ok to kill them when they trespass in your home. No squatters rights for spiders!

It's not ok when you are in their home.

How you teach that to a toddler, I have no idea!

PhaedraIsMyName · 07/09/2014 02:35

Rooner I'm with you on this. I don't find the killing spiders threads funny. Tbh the "ooh big scary spider " thing is a bit wearing and hackneyed.

inkyirky · 07/09/2014 02:43

It's human instinct NOT to like spiders and snakes - nature wants us to have a healthy fear of things that can bite! But, over the last decade or so we are being encouraged to overcome this perfectly natural instinctive fear and disgust. Those that do fear and dislike these creatures are told that they have 'phobias'.

Your toddler was acting on his instincts... he hasn't yet been brainwashed by society into liking things that it's not natural to like.

So you shouldn't be upset at his actions.

inkyirky · 07/09/2014 02:50

I'm wondering when some batty loon calls the rspca when they see someone swatting a spider. It's bound to happen! :)

Roonerspism · 07/09/2014 02:58

Inky that is nonsense! A cat or a dog is a far bigger "threat" to a toddler than a spider or snake. In this country, the only biting snake is the adder which will only bite you if you stamp on it.

I think teaching kids to respect life (which isn't the same as vegan-ism) isn't a bad motto generally.

Bulbasaur · 07/09/2014 03:19

Spiders are amazing creatures and also get rid of flies.

Agreed. But in my house, they enter at their own risk. They would afford me the same kindness if I got caught in one of their webs. :)

We will kill mice, roaches, bed bugs, mosquitoes, and any other pest that comes in our house too.

PhaedraIsMyName · 07/09/2014 03:55

Spiders are not pests. It's really quite pathetic , if you are in the UK (and possibly you are not) to equate the 2.

MrsMook · 07/09/2014 04:48

DS (3) tried to stamp on a ladybird this summer after I was doing a "oh look!". He got told off for being mean. Recently we've looked at spider webs in the garden, with spiders and flies in them and I've told him about things that spiders do. I want him to respect nature. There are some creatures that are pests and need control for health reasons (or so I can have plants surviving in my garden), but spiders are beneficial to us.

Stamping toddlers are probably just having an impulsive reaction, but its something that I'd rather educate them out of.

MexicanSpringtime · 07/09/2014 05:28

I love spiders, frankly, especially as they eat flies and mosquitos. I'm not a Jaen.

tiggerpigger · 07/09/2014 06:14

I'm absolutely disgusted at the number of people on here who think it's acceptable to kill a harmless spider. Fair enough if you live in Australia and it could be deadly, but in the uk spiders are harmless creatures who kill flies for you. If you don't want it in your house, put it outside. But why kill it? Shame on you all.

HexBramble · 07/09/2014 06:34

You are missing an opportunity to teach kindness and compassion to small and vulnerable creatures, no matter whether you like them or not.

It really boils down to that.

You are teaching your kids that if you don't particularly like something, if something looks creepy and crawlie, if it isn't cute and fluffy, then it's fine to exterminate it for fun. That puzzles me to be honest. Life is life, isn't it?