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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be absolutely fucking fuming with my neighbour?

174 replies

SignYourNameInBrownAndFlame · 05/09/2014 07:46

Since the weekend there has been a woman sleeping rough in the private parking area behind our house. Part of it is made up of some open-sided but covered spaces, like a big carport, and she has tucked herself up into the corner of the covered bit.

Now rightly or wrongly, since we noticed she'd started sleeping there, my DH and I have been buying her the odd meal if she's there when we go/from our garage. She spends most of her time asleep and we just leave eg a sandwich, a piece of fruit and a drink in a bag next to her for her to find when she wakes up. She doesnt seem to have any warm clothing and the nights are getting a bit nippy now so last night I covered her over with a coat I was about to take to the charity shop. My DH caught her awake yesterday and had a chat with her, and tried to persuade her to go to a hostel - again, rightly or wrongly we both feel she's more vulnerable as a woman sleeping on the street.

I've just come back from walking the dog and bumped into my next door neighbour who boasted that he's been round there with his hosepipe at full stretch and blasted her with the power jet to "get her to move on". I told him I thought that was a horrible thing to do, she's a human being and there but for the grace of God go any of us. I've been round to see if I can find her to make sure she's okay but unsurprisingly she's gone.

I am shaking with rage. How can anyone think this is an acceptable way to treat a vulnerable person - any person?

I don't actually think I'm BU, I just needed to vent.

OP posts:
VashtaNerada · 05/09/2014 07:49

YANBU. Sad

KoalaDownUnder · 05/09/2014 07:50

Dear lord, there are some arseholes in the world. Sad Angry

I wouldn't treat a stray dog like that.

tak1ngchances · 05/09/2014 07:50

If I were you I would call the police.
I think your actions are kind but are making it more bearable for her to stay homeless and not get the help she needs.

scattered · 05/09/2014 07:50

No you're not BU and you're right, anyone is a pay slip away from being in that situation. Most people just don't understand that, and I hope she's found some help.

BauerTime · 05/09/2014 07:51

What a bastard! What sort of person thinks that its ok to treat another human being like that?

I hope the woman is ok.

PurpleFeather · 05/09/2014 07:51

Wow, reading what your neighbour had done actually made me feel sick. I'm not sure I could ever look him in the face again if I were you.

honeysucklejasmine · 05/09/2014 07:52

Oh my gosh, your neighbour is horrible! I hope she has taken your advice and gone to a hostel.

AmandaTanen · 05/09/2014 07:53

That is awful! There was a guy sleeping rough next to where I park my car, I called the police as I was concerned for their welfare. The police took the guy to the homeless unit where he was able to get accommodation.

Groovee · 05/09/2014 07:54

That is such a horrible thing to do. How is she meant to get dry? She'll end up ill because of your neighbour's selfish horrific actions. Is it assault?

claraschu · 05/09/2014 07:56

I would call the police about your neighbour's action. That must be illegal; it is certainly a horrible, cruel thing to do.

SignYourNameInBrownAndFlame · 05/09/2014 07:59

takingchances you're probably right, but it's hard to literally walk past someone homeless and starving when we're on our way into our warm dry centrally-heated house to have our nice M&S fish pie or fresh pasta or whatever, without wanting to do something immediate for them.

Fuck, I'm practically in tears here from rage and frustration and pity for that poor, poor woman. I wish I could turn his stupid fucking hosepipe on him, the sanctimonious arsehole.

OP posts:
leeloo1 · 05/09/2014 08:02

Jeez she'll be freezing if she's soaked. Can you call the non-emergency police number & report what your neighbour has done (surely its assault?) and ask for advice about what to do for the lady?

tak1ngchances · 05/09/2014 08:02

Oh no I totally agree, I couldn't walk past either. But I would call the police as my action, or maybe Shelter

AmazingBouncingFerret · 05/09/2014 08:03

How awful. What did your neighbour say OP? ~After you told him what you thought of him?

McFox · 05/09/2014 08:05

What a disgusting prick. I've been so close to losing everything on a couple of occasions, some pretty desperate stuff usually has to happen to get you to that point. How anyone can be such an arsehole ans deliberately make someone's already difficult life more horrific is beyond me.

I'd be tempted to call 101, tell them what happened and frame it in a way "what should I do if she comes back?" kind of way. That way at least they are aware. Either that or put a letter through his door telling him that you are furious and why, and that you'd rather not engage with him any further as a result.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 05/09/2014 08:06

The evil fucking arsehole. You won't get much joy with the police, but you could always blacken the twat's name along the lines of "keep your kids away from twatface, he likes to jetwash people if they annoy him"

That aside, much respect to you and DH for your kindness.

SignYourNameInBrownAndFlame · 05/09/2014 08:06

I know it's selfish but I won't be reporting him to the police. He's lived here for ever, "pillar of the community", big cheese in the Neighbourhood Watch and he could make things difficult for us with our landlady if he so chose.

Ferret He started saying something about "drug addicts" but I didn't give him a chance to try and justify himself, I dragged the dog into the house and slammed the door on him (neighbour, not dog).

Giving Shelter a ring is a good idea, I'll ask my DH to do that today while I'm at work.

OP posts:
Beetlemilk · 05/09/2014 08:07

Isn't that assault? That poor woman won't be able to get dry.

Beetlemilk · 05/09/2014 08:09

Please ring the police - wouldn't they look out for her?
She won't be able to get her clothes dry now.
Imagine sleeping in damp clothes - she needs help.

SignYourNameInBrownAndFlame · 05/09/2014 08:09

And he can whistle if he thinks I'm going to water his fucking allotment greenhouse for him next time he goes on holiday!

OP posts:
SignYourNameInBrownAndFlame · 05/09/2014 08:12

Do you think we could ring 101 and say we think "someone" must have tipped water on her as there's a pool of it where she was sleeping, and we're worried about her safety? I'm sorry to be a coward and much as I'd love him to get his just desserts, we're the ones who want to go on living here.

OP posts:
Minesril · 05/09/2014 08:12

Definitely assault, surely? And as he's admitted it to you, I think you would actually count as a witness.

Horrible man, though. But you're lovely btw!

MyGastIsFlabbered · 05/09/2014 08:13

What a cunt. That is all. I hope she manages to get the help she needs.

ThatBloodyWoman · 05/09/2014 08:14

He has assaulted her.
Call the police.
How can people be so cruel?

Beetlemilk · 05/09/2014 08:14

Yes you could phone 101 and pass on that info.
You and your dh sound like lovely people. Flowers