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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be absolutely fucking fuming with my neighbour?

174 replies

SignYourNameInBrownAndFlame · 05/09/2014 07:46

Since the weekend there has been a woman sleeping rough in the private parking area behind our house. Part of it is made up of some open-sided but covered spaces, like a big carport, and she has tucked herself up into the corner of the covered bit.

Now rightly or wrongly, since we noticed she'd started sleeping there, my DH and I have been buying her the odd meal if she's there when we go/from our garage. She spends most of her time asleep and we just leave eg a sandwich, a piece of fruit and a drink in a bag next to her for her to find when she wakes up. She doesnt seem to have any warm clothing and the nights are getting a bit nippy now so last night I covered her over with a coat I was about to take to the charity shop. My DH caught her awake yesterday and had a chat with her, and tried to persuade her to go to a hostel - again, rightly or wrongly we both feel she's more vulnerable as a woman sleeping on the street.

I've just come back from walking the dog and bumped into my next door neighbour who boasted that he's been round there with his hosepipe at full stretch and blasted her with the power jet to "get her to move on". I told him I thought that was a horrible thing to do, she's a human being and there but for the grace of God go any of us. I've been round to see if I can find her to make sure she's okay but unsurprisingly she's gone.

I am shaking with rage. How can anyone think this is an acceptable way to treat a vulnerable person - any person?

I don't actually think I'm BU, I just needed to vent.

OP posts:
picnicbasketcase · 05/09/2014 08:15

What the fucking fuck? Who does that to another person? It's practically an assault.

girlwiththegruffalotattoo · 05/09/2014 08:15

Fucking hell that is a horrific thing to do. It must be assault. That poor, poor woman. People who look down on homeless people are awful but actually being violent towards them? Lowest of the low. I do understand why you don't want to call the police on them, sounds like he's not above making your life a living hell, but I would never, ever, ever speak to him again. This is such a horrible post :(

ohtheholidays · 05/09/2014 08:15

I'd call the Police.That's assault! No one has any idea what that poor lady had gone through to end up on the streets!

You and your husband may have been the only two people to have ever of shown her any kindness in her life!

ThatBloodyWoman · 05/09/2014 08:16

Are you concerned your neighbour could get nasty with you?

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 05/09/2014 08:17

Ah. Much is now explained OP. I'm picturing the typical Mail reader: puce with unfocused rage at a world that discounts him because he's a cunt.

Herein may be an opportunity. If he's married, his DW may despise him even more than than you do. If so, get her in here or Relationships. "See what he hath, and lessen it a little".

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 05/09/2014 08:18

What an utter foul cunt. I'm furious just reading it. The poor, poor woman.
I don't think you were wrong for giving her food either, though is she. Comes back please call the rough sleepers team for advice, they will come and talk to her and assess her welfare.

HavanaSlife · 05/09/2014 08:18

Thats fucking awful, your neighbour is a dick

scarletforya · 05/09/2014 08:20

I'd report it to the police too. I'm quite angry just reading it, Yanbu. I would also spread the word about what he's done.

SignYourNameInBrownAndFlame · 05/09/2014 08:22

ThatBloodyWoman, I don't think he'd be violent or anything, but I am worried he could paint a false picture of us to our landlady, who he knows from when she used to live here and is still in contact with. For example, we can only keep our dog so long as he isn't a nuisance to the neighbours (it's written into the lease) and it would be easy for him to tell her he barks all day or something.

Anyway, DH is on hold to 101 as I type and I have now made myself late for work, so let's hope my boss is understanding or Wankfeatures next door will be turning his hose on me next...

OP posts:
WitchWay · 05/09/2014 08:33

Keep watering his greenhouse with weedkiller

He sounds awful Sad Angry

ThatBloodyWoman · 05/09/2014 08:53

Ah, I see.
Such a pity its not straightforward -that nasty shit deserves a bit of a wake up call.

Only1scoop · 05/09/2014 08:57

Feel really upset reading this.

What an evil individual.

CaptChaos · 05/09/2014 09:01

There are some really horrible people in the world Sad

fackinell · 05/09/2014 09:05

What an absolute shit, but I would doubt very much if the police would do anything re that idiot throwing the water on the woman as you did not witness it. (I had the same problem when a guy in the pub said he shot his neighbours cats with an air rifle.)

You have no idea where she has gone, there probably isn't much you can do now but know that you were so lovely to that lady when she needed it.

What a prick!! I'm Shock and Angry on that woman's part.

Lj8893 · 05/09/2014 09:09

What a horrible wanker.

seasavage · 05/09/2014 09:12

He is on the neighbourhood watch and he thinks assault is a justified means of dealing with a person seeking shelter.

I would dial 101 ask to talk to the officer who liases with the neighbourhood watch. He should not be in a position of responsibility.

Milmingebag · 05/09/2014 09:14

I think you should call him on his behaviour.

He attacked a vunerable defenceless woman. What a shit of a man.

Go over and tell him how disgusted you are with his behaviour. This 'pillar of the community' could have actually helped this woman more than most if he is as powerful as you say. Tell him that any respect you had for him has gone. Go around your others neighbours and ask them to contact you if you see this woman as you are so concerned and then let slip what he did.

Get on the front foot and tell your landlady what he did in a sort of ' has he got form for this sort of behaviour' and 'you are concerned about his mental health' type of approach. If he says anything afterwards she will be aware of his motivation.

murphys · 05/09/2014 09:14

There are unfortunately heartless people like your neighbour about.

I just hope that the woman is ok, you are definitely nbu to be fuming with him.

I have been homeless myself, through no fault of my own (I was mugged of all my belongings including money in a foreign country). When I was getting washed up in the station bathroom, I endured no end of verbal abuse..

It is upsetting to read.

rumbelina · 05/09/2014 09:14

I'm not surprised you're upset, what a fucking scumbag. What actually goes through the head of people who do stuff like this to other people?

I hope she is ok.

flippinada · 05/09/2014 09:15

I'm not surprised you're upset. He sounds like a thoroughly nasty piece of work.

OcadoSubstitutedMyHummus · 05/09/2014 09:21

Well I can understand him being less than thrilled about someone camping out on private property. But the way he dealt with it was dreadful, poor woman.

BecauseIsaidS0 · 05/09/2014 09:21

That is vile, vile behaviour of him Sad

rebelfor · 05/09/2014 09:23

Neighbour is a horrible bastard, that poor woman :(

God love you and your husband though.

gordyslovesheep · 05/09/2014 09:24

what a horrible man :(

OP contact your local council - they will have a rough sleepers team who will work with this women to try and address her needs - housing, health etc

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/09/2014 09:28

What a despicable thing to do. That poor woman. She will be freezing. What if she gets herself in trouble trying to get new clothes because some bastard soaked hers?

Your neighbour is a cunt.