To be absolutely fucking fuming with my neighbour?

[SignYourNameInBrownAndFlame]

Since the weekend there has been a woman sleeping rough in the private parking area behind our house. Part of it is made up of some open-sided but covered spaces, like a big carport, and she has tucked herself up into the corner of the covered bit.

Now rightly or wrongly, since we noticed she'd started sleeping there, my DH and I have been buying her the odd meal if she's there when we go/from our garage. She spends most of her time asleep and we just leave eg a sandwich, a piece of fruit and a drink in a bag next to her for her to find when she wakes up. She doesnt seem to have any warm clothing and the nights are getting a bit nippy now so last night I covered her over with a coat I was about to take to the charity shop. My DH caught her awake yesterday and had a chat with her, and tried to persuade her to go to a hostel - again, rightly or wrongly we both feel she's more vulnerable as a woman sleeping on the street.

I've just come back from walking the dog and bumped into my next door neighbour who boasted that he's been round there with his hosepipe at full stretch and blasted her with the power jet to "get her to move on". I told him I thought that was a horrible thing to do, she's a human being and there but for the grace of God go any of us. I've been round to see if I can find her to make sure she's okay but unsurprisingly she's gone.

I am shaking with rage. How can anyone think this is an acceptable way to treat a vulnerable person - any person?

I don't actually think I'm BU, I just needed to vent.

Oh gosh, what a despicable human being. Even if you don't want to do anything to help, why can't you just at the very least turn a blind eye to someone seeking whatever shelter they can, if they aren't doing anything to hurt you? If you can't stand them in "your" space, then seek help through the appropriate channels for the person. Some people seem to forget that people in desperate situations are human beings too.

Okay, quick update while I'm on my lunch. Apologies if I miss any questions.

I've just got off the phone to my DH. The officer he spoke to when he rang 101 said they'd get their Community Support Officer to look out for her and make sure she was okay. He didn't report neighbour specifically due to the reasons I've outlined above, but in the meantime I have also emailed our landlady (don't have her number with me at work) as suggested above just to pre-empt any flack from Cuntface, as I'm now calling neighbour.

After my DH came off the phone he went out and looked for the woman himself and found her in one of the churchyards not too far away. He did some ringing around on her behalf and has got her an appointment with the Salvation Army at one of their 'lighthouses', as apparently they call their hostels, this afternoon. So I hope that can maybe get her a bed and/or some specialist knowledgeable help. (I forgot to ask him if he's updated 101.)

To those who doubt neighbour was "boasting"...he really was. He said something like "that'll put a stop to their gallop"; he honestly seemed quite proud of what he'd done, as if it were what any right-thinking person would do. And he had done it, it wasn't just a fantasy - there was quite a pool of water where she'd been sleeping, and my DH said she was still damp when he found her.

I don't think we can do much more but hopefully she will get some of the help and support she needs now.

(Work were fine with me being slightly late, by the way.)

Bless her. Glad your found her. What a complete twat your neighbour is.

You & your DH are both lovely. Hopefully this will restore the woman's faith in mankind and hopefully she will be able to get the help she needs.

It will be interesting to see if your landlady replies, she might not even like him very much, then there wouldn't be anything to stop you reporting him to the police! Wankbadger that he is.

Hosing her down is a pretty unpleasant thing to do. Equally though I think buying her food is a bit enabling. If she spends most of her time asleep chances are she's a drug addict and not so much asleep as out of her tree on whatever. TBH I wouldn't want to be enabling drug addicts sleeping rough behind my house

I agree entirely with this.

You were being a bit of a fool buying her food and helping her camp out there. But hosing someone down is a god awful thing to have done.

"You were being a bit of a fool buying her food and helping her camp out there."

I'd call that compassion, not foolishness.

Sign well done -you are an excellent woman. I feel uncharacteristically tearful reading your update.

Thankfully people like him are in the minority. He will be shamed once word gets out.

So pleased that your DH took the time to go and find her, and that she can now get some support from the Salvation Army. Thank goodness for your kindness and compassion.
to you both.

There is no valid reason for doing what your neighbour did.

But I do agree that buying her food and enabling her to stay there was a bit foolish - not because she shouldn't be there, but because I wouldn't want those she associates with (drug dealers, other drug addicts) seeing the neighbourhood as a potential new place to get free food/a place to sleep/to engage with other drug addicts. if she's an addict she most likely has a dealer. And if she has one of those he may well come looking for her and may well find her. I wouldn't be happy if a neighbour of mine encouraged a drug addict to sleep rough behind my property resulting in the local drug dealer hanging around there as well with possible risk to my children.

The best solution should always be to get her professional help.

And your neighbour should have known that as well.

Maybe we were foolish. But I'd rather be a kind fool than a clever arsehole.

Your neighbour is a Grade A cunt.

I hope that one day she is made homeless and someone does the same to her.

And you sound lovely by the way! If only the world were full of people like you

Is there any evidence that she's a drug addict? I've just skimmed through the OP's posts and can't see any, but maybe I skimmed too quickly.

Awww well done op and ops dh :)

enabling ?

"I'd rather be a kind fool than a clever arsehole."

NoImSpartacus the neighbour's male.

And addicts tend to have better things to do all day rather than sleep, like getting money, and scoring.

Much more likely that she has MH problems.

I can't believe anyone could think that giving a homeless person the odd thing to eat and showing them a bit of kindness is enabling or foolish.

Your neighbour is, as others before me have said, a cunt.

OP you've been wonderful - you should feel proud of yourself.

I often give money to people at and around tube stations on the way to and from work - I am more than aware some might spend it on drugs or may not actually be homeles. I don't care - I'll take that risk.

OP I Thank both you and your Hubs.

a little (or a lot) kindness costs nothing. And It makes the world of difference for those in need

(((((((((((((((Grateful Happy Hugs)))))))))))))))))

I'd take her in the house get her a bath and new clothes and call the police. Scumbag pig man.

We'll done OP, and your DH. Your neighbour is an evil bastard.

Let's just hope whois and all the others saying OP was foolish never find themselves in need of help

My. God. Jaffa - really?

OP - I take back what I said before. I didn't realise she was an addict who was attracting the wrong sort to your neighbourhood. All the house prices have probably dropped considerably since this morning. Bloody hell - look what you've done, you foolish woman!

Curly, yes, it's quite a picture Jaffa paints, isn't it? My eyes have been opened and my fears about the neighbourhood thoroughly aroused. I'm going to find a homeless to hose off RIGHT NOW.