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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to actually feel sorry for the driver of the car? WARNING- upsetting video.

496 replies

ToThePark · 04/09/2014 21:55

Ok, so I've been a wimp and name changed in case I get totally flamed.

www.suffolk.police.uk/newsandevents/newsstories/2014/september/hardhittingvideolaunched.aspx

The motorcyclist was travelling at 100mph past a busy junction. I watched this video and thought, as a car driver, this could easily happen to me. What an horrific thing to have on your conscience.

What if it had been a child crossing?

OP posts:
LRDtheFeministDragon · 04/09/2014 22:00

Of course you feel sorry for the driver. Confused

I feel sorry for the driver, the man on the bike, and both of their families.

I thought his mum was very honest. She said she wished people would slow down and she said she knew he was going too fast. It must be horribly hard to admit that. And she said her husband wished he'd never bought their son the first bike that got him into motor cycling.

It is really hard to know whether the car driver was at fault, but given he says he didn't see the bike, it sounds as if he has been beating himself up about what happened.

I don't see it being about pointing fingers at all, but about saying how accidents happen when both parties make mistakes. Very sobering.

Nicknacky · 04/09/2014 22:02

Good god that's horrible. And how horrible to see the last view the motor cyclist saw and hear his shout. But I totally understand why his family have released that video.

Horrific.

scattered · 04/09/2014 22:02

I agree. Although the car driver was in the wrong, that biker was doing dangerous speeds right from when he sets out on the road in a 40mph zone and could not have reacted to any of those cars he overtook either, should they have slightly drifted in their lane. Extremely sad for all concerned, RIP.

Original poster
ToThePark · 04/09/2014 22:03

Very true LRDtheFeministDragon . The report itself is quite balanced and his mum is very brave and honest. It's just that there are a lot of awful comments online about the driver of the car. I guess they're all entitled to their opinion.

OP posts:
LRDtheFeministDragon · 04/09/2014 22:04

Ah, I'd not seen online comments. Sad

Original poster
ToThePark · 04/09/2014 22:05

I made the mistake of looking at the free-for-all that is YouTube

OP posts:
CorporateRockWhore · 04/09/2014 22:07

God, that's just awful to watch. You really hope he didn't have time to process what was going on. Having lost friends in a similar way, I know one of them died instantly and two of them definitely didn't, but were gone by the time the emergency services arrived.

Just awful. And it does worry me, what if I was the driver, how could I live with the responsibility of that? Makes me slow down every time I have that thought.

snowvelvet · 04/09/2014 22:07

I feel sorry for both of them. He was an idiot for speeding and paid the price - had he been going slower, he would have been able to evade the collision a lot more. Adrenaline rush spurs you on unsafely...

Absolutely feel sorry for the car driver - the motor bike was going nearly 100mph, and overtook the vehicle that was obscuring him from sight, so when he started that manoeuvre, there was nothing there.

Heavy price all round.

Yes, footage is shocking - but no worse than the video that showed a car (set up) ploughing into a school picnic last year.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 04/09/2014 22:07

Youtube comments are horrible.

Methe · 04/09/2014 22:08

How awful for EVERYONE involved :(

A friends of mines dad knocked over and killed a teenager who was playing chicken in the road. Absolutely fucking stupidity on the party of the child but it's ruined my mates dad's life.

Mintyy · 04/09/2014 22:09

I'm not going to watch the video (thanks for the warning).

Could you very briefly describe what happens?

NameChange30 · 04/09/2014 22:09

Yes I felt sorry for the driver of the car when I saw that, too. They were both in the wrong. I think it's crazy for motorcyclists to drive so fast.

Iffy2014 · 04/09/2014 22:10

My friend lost her dad in strikingly similar circumstances. Everybody felt extremely sorry for the driver of the car in the collision. It was nobody's fault, just a tragic accident, but you could see how horrified and how miserable the driver felt about herself at the inqests, etc. I would hate to think that anybody would make comments about a driver like that, blaming them. I agree with the OP that, from what you can see from the video, this bike really would have come out of nowhere, giving both parties no time to react.

Motorcycles make me extremely nervous on the road. I actually asked my partner once whether they have the same speed restrictions as other road users (der, stupid question...), but only because I'm so used to seeing them going at such teriffic speeds no matter the zone.

CorporateRockWhore · 04/09/2014 22:12

Mintyy the driver had a camera on, so you see from his point of view, a car turns into his path to leave the motorway, you hear him shout, then see the impact from his angle, then it basically goes still.

It's not graphic at all, but it is shocking, and sad.

AppleAndMelon · 04/09/2014 22:12

She was very brave Sad.

My cousin was killed in very similar circumstances at a young age.

MortaIWombat · 04/09/2014 22:13

I feel very sorry for both the car driver and the motorbike rider's family.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 04/09/2014 22:14

mintyy - don't blame you.

It shows a cyclist going very fast, intercut with his mother's very moving explanation how she wants people to see what an accident is really like, how she knows he was going too fast, but she'd urge both drivers and people on bikes to slow down and to try to anticipate what each other might down.

You see a single-carriageway road from the perspective of the guy on the bike. There is a right-turn lane in the opposite direction (ie., turning from the other side of the road, so cars in that lane need to turn across the path of traffic going forwards on your side).

The guy on the bike sees a car in the right-turn lane. The car moves slowly fowards to turn right, and as it does so the biker sees he hasn't got time to stop, shouts, and hits the car. You don't see the collision, but he's obviously been flipped into the ditch.

The car driver doesn't have right of way and should have stopped, but would have been expecting traffic coming on to be nearly forty (?) miles slower than the bike was going.

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/09/2014 22:14

I saw something recently that said that we are really good at judging speed from close but very bad at distance. So, the most dangerous event is this exact one, a small object (bike) doing a faster than usual speed towards you. Even if the car driver had seen the bike, he is very likely to have underestimated the speed of approach. The take home message is don't risk a turn if you aren't absolutely sure of the speed of approach.

I feel sorry for everyone concerned.

Original poster
ToThePark · 04/09/2014 22:14

Iffy2014 I used to wonder about their speed limits too.

OP posts:
JCDenton · 04/09/2014 22:15

Both are at fault, it's a long, clear road and the car probably should have seen the driver. The bike shouldn't have been travelling so quickly as to allow so little time to react or make any accidents that happen so high-energy.

I feel sorry for the driver, they obviously didn't mean to kill anyone and will always have this on their conscience, nobody is perfect and we all have it in us to not see something or make a mistake, David's mother says as much. I wonder what legal penalty they will receive.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 04/09/2014 22:16

corporate, it's not a motorway. Confused

It is a single-carriageway road.

muffinino82 · 04/09/2014 22:16

I feel sorry for the driver, too. A friend of mine shared this on FB saying people need to be more aware and #Thinkbike as her father and husband are bikers. My response was, despite how sad it is for everyone involved, if he hadn't been doing what I presume is the speed limit on that road (60mph, I guess) + half again, he probably wouldn't have died. The driver seems to have not seen him because he was going so damned fast. I have huge respect for his mother for allowing this to be released and I hope it makes both car and bike riders think a little more. This is not to say that all bikers are idiots and all car drivers not to blame, far from it, but in this case I do think the blame lies more with the deceased than the driver Sad

Mintyy · 04/09/2014 22:17

Was the motorbike undertaking then?

This happened to me tonight: motorbike appeared out of nowhere alongside me in the left hand lane which I was indicating to move in to. He was roaring away from the lights. Could easily have collided with him had the timings been seconds different.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 04/09/2014 22:19

No - the car driver is coming in the opposite direction to the biker. He's not undertaking - he has just overtaken another car.

EstellaSpitsEmOut · 04/09/2014 22:19

As a fairly new driver, this scares the bejesus out of me. It is a terrible, terrible tragedy, but surely motorcyclists have to obey by the same Highway Code as cars. How can cars react properly faced with a bike going 100mph?
I will probably get flamed here, but where is the campaign to motorcyclists, saying 'think car'? They have a responsibility on the roads too.