to think this woman was rude to invite my husband round for coffee, even though i was stood next to him.

[hatethecold]

I wondered what you would make of this situation.
Yesterday I had an appointment at the hospital and because I knew it wouldn't take long, and it was nice and sunny, I suggested that my husband wait outside.
When I came out, I noticed he was chatting to a woman who I recognised as being a friend of his from years ago.
I went and stood next to them and said hello. They chatted for a few minutes more, husband said 'we have to go now' to which she replied
'It was nice bumping into you, YOU will have to call in for a coffee one day'
This was said to him only and didn't seem to include me

As we were walking away I said jokingly that 'I noticed I wasn't included in the invite!'
He said she probably didn't mean anything by it.

I agree with him, but am quietly seething that a woman would be SO rude and insensitive to a person, as to invited her partner round without inviting her, as well.
(I think it was the fact I was stood right next to him when she did it that really riled)

If the tables were turned, as soon as the wife turned up, I would have included her in the conversation AND in the invite for coffee?

Am I being unreasonable to be as annoyed by this as I am?
Have any of you had anything similar happen to you?

[Lifesalemon]

honeybadger is insulting someone you don't know and who hasn't even asked for your opinion on that particular subject 'behaving like an adult?'

[CarmineRose1978]

No, you're right. I read Saturday Pub Night as Saturday Pub Quiz Night. I don't think anything else was wrong in my reading, though. We often used to go to a pub quiz on a Saturday, and I just make the connection.

[Candycrushblahblah]

HoneyBadger I am leaving this thread now because I feel ill. You last comment was just sheer nasty. So I am a "Dog" now "Psycho" you are offensive in the extreme. I have reported you again an to be fair I hope Mnet chuck you off for that last effort. ( It has been known to happen). Do you speak to people in RL like that, seriously :(

[CarmineRose1978]

You implied you didn't know her well, by saying you didn't often go to the pub nights. If you did know her that well, I think your behaviour was even more unreasonable. Perhaps she didn't invite you because she suspected you'd be a loose cannon? Did you have form?

[Candycrushblahblah]

Carmine "Sunday Pub Night" why not just read a post correctly before you choose to attack. Bye

[Anotherchapter]

Ah ali I was just copying your tone! didn't you realise?

You are patronising. Not overly - but a bit.

[CarmineRose1978]

Sunday. Bollocks. I'm going to blame pregnancy brain for that one.

I generally think that when your only answer to a post is to nitpick, it's a sign you know you're in the wrong... Do you think that your actions were justifiable in any way? I reckon you got off lightly with £500. I do hope you learned from the episode not to embarrass your poor husband but drinking beyond your capacity?

[XiCi]

Have just read candy story open mouthed with horror. candy you have narrated your story like it's something you are proud of when the way you behaved was beyond appalling. It was her 30th birthday, her memories of that will be completely ruined by your actions, which quite frankly were psychotic. And yes she probably did end the night crying in the toilets after everything you did, £500 is getting off lightly. You shamed yourself and your DH must have been dying inside. I would keep your little story to yourself from now on or people will judge you.

[KateSMumsnet]

Hi everyone,

Thanks to everyone who reported this thread to us. We're going to take a look now - in the meantime can we please remind everyone of our talk guidlines?

[TheHoneyBadger]

you feel ill? imagine how the people who had to witness your behaviour at their friends 30th felt? or how your husband felt having to deal with people knowing that, yes, that is his wife and she really did crash a party and tell people a woman had venereal disease because she didn't like her not inviting her to a party and yes she did drunkenly make an arse of herself and him? you were unwise enough to choose a solicitor with a connected father (who you insist on calling 'daddy' for some reason) who chose to retaliate to your atrocious behaviour. in honesty it's probably a good job she had that sort of family rather than a sister like you who would go round crashing your parties and slandering you to all and sundry don't you think?

better a £500 settlement than being stalked by a nutter.

[TheHoneyBadger]

mn may delete my comment if you laid it on thick enough about feeling ill but it is hardly bannable to describe someone's behaviour as psychotic and to suggest your sister set you on this woman 'like the family dog' - that is a simile btw - not name calling.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

If you say so Another

[MexicanSpringtime]

Sorry stopped reading at page 7, just wanted to comment on this snide slagging off of cool wives.

I suppose some people believe that men and women can be friends and some don't.

Having always had male friends, I have been in a relationship where my partner tried to forbid me their friendship. I had known these friends much longer than said partner and had we wanted to have a sexual going relationship we had had plenty of time before the arrival on the scene of said partner; apart from the small matter of trust, if I say I am going to be faithful, is my word of no value???

And on the other side of the coin, being single, where women think that you are after their precious husbands just because you are single. I have been celibate for thirty years now and the last thing I would want is a relationship with a married man, but it is a bit much when that means I cannot have male friends.

And I have met women who throw themselves at men or even seem to particularly want a married man, but surely then you have to trust your partner?

[hatethecold]

Dropping in to check and thank you for all the replies.
I guess I was being a bit unreasonable but I still think the woman should have shown better manners.
Oh well.

[SailorEverRose]

I guess I was being a bit unreasonable hmm but I still think the woman should have shown better manners.
Oh well.

LOL

That's like an apology that goes - "I'm sorry .... but you're still in the wrong"



ps ... YABU.

[hatethecold]

Sailor, I am stubborn!

[SailorEverRose]

So has your husband even been for this coffee yet?

[hatethecold]

So has your husband even been for this coffee yet?

I don't think he would somehow.
He has respect for our marriage, so I don't think he would have accepted the invitation anyway, out of respect for me and how he feels about me. It wouldn't have sat right with him.
As I have said, I found it rude how she phrased the invitation.

[Maisyblue]

I would have too hatethecold.

[sanfairyanne]

was it even an invitation though really?

[Alisvolatpropiis]

I think you and your husband have a relationship that works for you both and thus he respects the relationship as is fitting.

It is quite possible the woman didn't really mean it as an actual invite, rather it was one of those things people say.

I can count on one hand how many times I've said/heard "oh we must meet up again soon for a drink" and it actually happening.

[Mrsrochesterscat]

hatethecold the thing that stands out to me, is that you were outside the hospital - what are the chances this woman is dealing with some horrific news and so wasn't really thinking clearly?

[sweetnessandlite]

Maisyblue, I appreciate the support x