To hide dh's passport

[Edenviolet]

So that he can't go on holiday......

Last year he had a 10 day holiday despite my objections. He wanted to go this year so I swiftly booked us all a week away when he was booked off. Today he tells me he's going away next year for a week?!?!

I'm not against him having time to relax, he occasionally has a weekend fishing but another holiday????

Dcs all have disabilities so I really need him at home to help me. He is certain it "will be fine". I don't want to argue so am considering doing a vanishing trick with his passport....

You can't live like this.

You can't seriously consider hiding your husband's passport. He can't seriously think it is ok to leave you with 4 disabled children for a week without any assistance. You can't carry on never, ever having a break - sorry, one spa day doesn't even come close.

You're caring for four disabled children which is draining mentally and physically. You BOTH need respite in order to do this. You BOTH need to work out how you will BOTH get respite - him unilaterlally deciding to go away and you considering his passport is not the way to go. He's not wrong for recognising he needs a break - of course he does, but he's wrong for not considering the impact on you and how YOU get YOUR break.

Honestly, if you don't get some respite, you will collapse. I know it is difficult - we used to have a similar issue in our family, athough not on the same scale, but Social Services (I think) arranged proper respite for us - so that the disabled person was fully looked after while the carers had a week away. It's not a luxury, it's a necessity.

ok, you need support for him to get pip. the mantra for pip is "repeatedly, safely and without significant discomfort". if he is in pain all the time then he should be treated as if he can't do things-regardless or not as to whether he could "technically" do them. would his rheumo/physio support an application? do either of you get ESA?

ok, you need support for him to get pip. the mantra for pip is "repeatedly, safely and without significant discomfort". if he is in pain all the time then he should be treated as if he can't do things-regardless or not as to whether he could "technically" do them. would his rheumo/physio support an application? do either of you get ESA?

The guidelines for PIP are very very strict and the guidelines have changed dramatically from DLA.

It can take many many months to sort (been there done that and I have what should have been an 'easy case')

Do you know why he was turned down previously?

Surely pain is taken into account for PIP. For example, if he can cook a meal but standing is painful and lifting heavy pots and pans causes problems with his arms later then the reality is that he can't cook meals because he can't perform the activity with normal regularity and without pain.

www.disabilityrightsuk.org/personal-independence-payment-pip

Yes but it isn't as straight forward as that. Pain is hard to 'measure' and that is where assesment problems come in iyswim (and before anyone jumps on me I live in constant pain.)

It is also a 'point system' which means you may score some points but not enough to get an award.

Anyone would think they were making it hard for people to claim it!

It must be a very frustrating process to be stuck in the middle of.

It is really difficult and very stressful .

op have you thought anymore about any of the suggestions posters have made as you clearly all need a break from the ongoing situation

I'd tell him no way and let him know to not expect me to be there when he returns.

If you can't bring yourself to do that I would leave for a week and not feel guilty about it. I'd also time it for when MIL was on holiday and can't help