Emotional affair

[sadandgutted]

I found he was chatting to an ex of over 20 years ago about this time last year... she came across him online "by chance." I couldn't believe the filth they'd been talking about it made me feel totally inadequate. He even drove 200 miles to meet her for coffee and back the same day. When I challenged him he swore that nothing had happened.

I told him to stop speaking to her or it was over. He said he had and I've been trying to rebuild my shattered trust. I've just discovered he hasn't. He forgot to log out of his FB earlier. My son went on and she thought it was my husband online!!!

She's single with nothing to lose. I feel so fucking powerless to stop this.

Who else has had this and how do you deal with these bitches who tell your partner that an online relationship is not cheating. I've just read that - I really did.

It is and I am so fucking angry again I could kill them both for this.

Fuckin' hell OP. Don't think anyone will be in a hurry to get on the wrong side of you!

I'm still not 100% convinced that what you did was the right thing, but it's rather a breath of fresh air to hear of a cheating partner getting the shafting he deserves.

And anybody who is disgustingly racist as the OW, well, I'll not waste my sympathy on her either.

I bet OW is delighted with your DP for leaving his FB open.

You've done the OW's employer a huge favour by exposing a foul racist - absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Well done for sticking to your guns - you told him what would happen and you're following through.

Wishing you strength in the weeks to come, and much happiness in the future.

Actually, scrub what I just said. That fucker ended the marriage, not you. What was I thinking ? < slaps self >

I think you get my gist, though. You are a force of nature, that is for sure

You know what, OP? In your shoes, I would have done exactly the same thing, purely for the nasty racist comment. Complete kudos to you, lady. Be strong for yourself and your kids - your 'D'H has shown his true colours with that horrid text to you, and proved that he cares more about OW than you. I'm so sorry .

Stay strong.

My dp did this. He repeatedly chose to brake my trust and speak to his ex. Honestly, it's been a year since he last spoke to her and it still hurts thinking about it, I am still angry and I don't think I will ever forget how little I and our family must have meant to him for him to choose to speak to her. (She was a very nasty woman and was hellbent on breaking us up).
You need to think about whether or not you can ever truly move on, it hurts so much everyday for me and It's very very slowly getting a bit easier but it's taken a lot of hurt and upset to get to even this point.
I hope you can work out what's best for you OP, whichever option you choose, neither decision will result in instant happiness but hopefully you'll get there eventually.

Sorry op just read the rest of thread and sounds like you've made your decision. Good on you for being strong and knowing your worth.

I'm surprised her work email allow her to send emails using racist terms/swearing/ explicit content.
I swore once, replying to my partners email (he sent from work) I think is said f*ck and it got escalated to his boss!
Of corse she deserves to lose her job, being racist? Via company email? Good image she's sending there.
Good on you op regardless of why you chose to report it

Fair enough OP. It's not how I would have handled it but you've made your point, right enough. I hope you and your son find happiness away from your tosser of a now-ex.

I have a lot of respect for you OP, you have done what I hope we would all do in that situation, know our worth and ditch the useless sod before it gets even worse. Well done op

Yes. The (now ex) deserves no sympathy, he breached trust, lied, manipulated and was conducting a sexually orientated relationship (whether they dtd or not) which clearly was outside the 'norm' of the marriage.

The woman bought misconduct upon herself. She said that stuff (and put it out to the internet) where she had no control over it.
But also: trawling someone's email and facebook is a massive breach of privacy and a symptom of complete lack of respect.
I'd say a marriage is ended by that action too.

OP you are well shot! You LTB in absolute style and he has proved that you made the right decision.

I think you did the right thing.

How are you now?

Bravo OP!! I agree that your anger should be mostly directed at him, but bloody he'll OW will think twice about messing around with a MM again!

Beautifully done OP, I like your style and I'm sorry that you are going through this. I admire you for giving things a go when you discovered the contact in the past- and I applaud the way you've handed it to those pair of arseholes! Brava! Good luck with your future- it will be so much better without that lecherous twat and racist cow in your life x

Morning Op. Just a note to say I hope you are ok.

How's it going OP?