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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to allow DS (12) to sleep out in the woods without an adult?

79 replies

MoveAlongNow · 31/08/2014 22:11

I'm not am I?

DS built a 'den' in the woods today with a tarp covering it. Filled it with blankets and pillows and made a bed. I left him and his friend to it until 8.30 and then made them come in. He is furious and very upset not to have been allowed to sleep out in it.

This den is about a 10 minute walk from my house, up a steep hill, over boulders and slippy muddy bits. DS has asthma and keratoconus which has left him with very limited night vision. Just - no. Not gonna happen.

DP thinks I am being unreasonable and over protective, and that I should have left them as they would have come in if they got cold or scared. I don't even care if I am being ridiculous, I'm not prepared to sit with that much anxiety all night. But was ibu to be scared to leave him out? Is my anxiety unreasonable or normal? Would you have said yes?

DS is fuming/sulking/ trying his best to make me feel bad. I do feel bad. But not as bad as I would have if he was sleeping in the woods tonight!

OP posts:
CarmineRose1978 · 31/08/2014 22:12

God no. No way. YANBU.

SantanaLopez · 31/08/2014 22:12

Absolutely not.

furcoatbigknickers · 31/08/2014 22:12

Yanbu... Why doesnt dh go and sleep with them?

LadyLuck10 · 31/08/2014 22:13

Yanbu . Absolutely no way, if he needs you during the night how would you get to him quickly.

fairnotfair · 31/08/2014 22:13

Absolutely YANBU. Not even a tiny bit.

TeaAndALemonTart · 31/08/2014 22:14

Nope, not happening.

MehsMum · 31/08/2014 22:15

I am a pretty slack parent by some people's lights (let my DC off the leash very young by current standards) but even I wouldn't be happy with a 12 yr-old sleeping out a 10 min walk away in woods. In someone's garden, yes. Woods, no.

So YANBU.

londonrach · 31/08/2014 22:15

No way full stop. In your own garden maybe but not in the woods x mins from the house... Yanbu

angelohsodelight · 31/08/2014 22:15

No way, is your dp crazy

Bunbaker · 31/08/2014 22:15

I agree with everyone else.

There is no way I would leave a healthy 12 year old to sleep alone in the woods then minutes away, let alone one with some health issues.

chaosisawayoflife · 31/08/2014 22:17

Yanbu

Original poster
MoveAlongNow · 31/08/2014 22:18

o thank you kind people, I feel much better now! Yes, my dp is probably crazy. He is kind tho, and said he will sleep there with ds next Friday. cold comfort to a disappointed boy, but hey ho. I'm glad it's not just me!

OP posts:
Bouttimeforwine · 31/08/2014 22:22

What would the other boys parents have said if you'd let them.

I'd have been furious at you.

YA so NBU

EverythingCounts · 31/08/2014 22:23

No, you're absolutely right. Remind him about it in 20 years' time when he's got his own kids and I bet he'll admit you were right too.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 31/08/2014 22:30

Y.N.B.U. How are you possibly B.U in wanting to keep your child safe. He is 12 years old. Just a little boy. You'd never rest. Not only is it dangerous due to his asthma and keratoconus but you don't know what perverts could be lurking around. You'd never rest. In the garden might be okay.
Sorry to say this but what planet is your D.H living on

CromerSutra · 31/08/2014 22:32

Blimey, no way!!! Absolutely NO way!

claraschu · 31/08/2014 22:32

If it was safe (no dodgy people about), I would certainly let mine do this as long as he was with a friend. Your son's health issues might stop me, but I don't know what keratoconus is.

I slept out on mountains a 3-4 mile hike away from home starting at age 5. The oldest person was 15, and it was one of the best things I did as a child.

LumpenproletariatAndProud · 31/08/2014 22:34

What did the other parents say?

YANBU

furcoatbigknickers · 31/08/2014 22:37

How do you know if there are dodgy people about?Confused

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 31/08/2014 22:38

A bit of an old clique clara. but the world is a lot more different now to what it was when you were a child. There were things I was allowed to do, but I wouldn't dream of letting D.D do it. Also how can anyone be sure that there was no dodgy people about. Not a risk worth taking.

Bunbaker · 31/08/2014 22:38

You don't - until it is too late.

Would you leave a 12 year old to sleep out without an adult 10 minutes away from your house?

Original poster
MoveAlongNow · 31/08/2014 22:40

claraschu I think my dp has similar fond memories of sleeping out in the woods as a child. Probably it is safe. Probably there are no dodgy people about (we live in a tiny village). But, but, but still...

My fear is more of injury than perverts. I think when he's older, say 15? maybe?

I am reassured to know that others agree! IANBU!!

OP posts:
Original poster
MoveAlongNow · 31/08/2014 22:40

Also kerataconus is an eye condition, poor night vision is the main thing atm

OP posts:
furcoatbigknickers · 31/08/2014 22:42

Sorry my question was to clara? And should have said or not

ThatSmellsLikePoo · 31/08/2014 22:43

The sad truth is that things are not the same now as when we were kids (of whatever vintage). I think you've done the right thing OP and sorry about your sad DS but too bad - you're the parent and you just did your job 100% as it's meant to be done.

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