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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

birthday meal

234 replies

helenenemo · 31/08/2014 20:32

I'm vegetarian. On most other birthdays we go to a local steakhouse and I have the one veggie option on the menu!!

It's my birthday next and I've chosen a lovely vegetarian/vegan place. Apparently I'm totally unreasonable and should change to somewhere with meat. I disagree so I'm turning it over to the lovely folk of MN!

Aibu?

OP posts:
FunkyBoldRibena · 02/09/2014 17:35

If I was broke and someone wanted to go to a vegetarian place, they'd have to be a very close friend for me to even consider it.

If you were broke surely you would have the same issue with a meat restaurant - being broke and all. Or do meat restaurants give you cashback when you eat there?

Ditzycorona · 02/09/2014 17:37

Yanbu.... It's yr choice

It would be unfair to start falling out with people if they choose not to attend. I know plenty of friends who would skip that sort of meal and prefer to join you for drinks after.

bleedingheart · 02/09/2014 17:38

From some of these responses you'd think you'd asked them to go to a swingers' restaurant!

Literally one meal out of their entire life without meat in it and it's debatable? Christ, I'm glad I don't clean their toilets.

Unless they are broke (in which case unlikely to go to any restaurant) or allergic to everything on the menu, they need to get a grip.

bleedingheart · 02/09/2014 17:41

If I was broke and someone wanted to go to a vegetarian place, they'd have to be a very close friend for me to even consider it.

And yet OP is expected to pay ££ for a microwaved veggie lasagne every other time she goes out with friends and just suck it up.

Most vegetarians put up with the shite offerings of restaurants out of courtesy to their friends. Soggy mushroom risotto, goats cheese barf and sloppy courgettes sliding in cheese sauce and pasta aren't the highlights of their culinary lives.

MrsSchadenfreude · 02/09/2014 18:46

I had a last minute vegan come to a dinner party at my house once, and panicked a bit over whether there was anything she was going to be able to eat. I was catering for veggies as well as meat eaters, and she was able to eat the mushroom goulash I had made, with roast potatoes, red cabbage and salad, and also the poppy seed roll I had made for pudding. The cheesecake was out, of course, as was the sour cream to go with the goulash, but I think we often eat quite a lot of vegan food without realising it.

Bunbaker · 02/09/2014 19:02

"If I was broke and someone wanted to go to a vegetarian place, they'd have to be a very close friend for me to even consider it."

This response is typical of someone who clearly has no imagination when it comes to food. You obviously have (extremely ignorant) preconceived ideas about what vegans eat.

FGS open your mind. Be responsive to new ideas and try new tastes. What are you afraid of?

I make no apologies for shouting. Your narrow minded attitude is unbelievable

(I am an omnivore, but like all types of food)

Bulbasaur · 02/09/2014 19:09

If you were broke surely you would have the same issue with a meat restaurant - being broke and all. Or do meat restaurants give you cashback when you eat there?

I don't know if you've been to a vegan/vegetarian restaurant, but they are not cheap. Organic is more expensive.

That aside, there's just not much I like as far as vegetarian dishes. I've tried some and it's just not my thing. I'm not spending money on something I'm not going to like.

FGS open your mind. Be responsive to new ideas and try new tastes. What are you afraid of?

Been there, done that. Didn't like it. Now what? That's as stupid as saying go to a Mexican Restaurant when you don't like Mexican food.

If I don't like it, I don't like it. My taste buds aren't going to change in the name of broadening my horizons.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 02/09/2014 19:22

Veggy food is usually significantly cheaper than a meat-based menu, unless you go somewhere completely fancy and rinky-dink. This is because the ingredients are cheaper.

Conversely, vegetarian alternatives in a meat restaurant are usually overpriced to maintain a coherent 'scale' between the most expensive items and the cheapest. So if there is a steak on the menu at £20, they can't price the veggie option at less than £9 - 10, or else they aren't making roughly the same price from each plate. (Which is what you want, you don't want table A making 10% profit and table B making 35%.

So it's a double whammy for veggies as they are usually paying more proportionally for the cheapest meal to produce.

Millions of people do not eat meat. It does no-one any harm to just try something different on a pal's birthday, surely?

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 02/09/2014 19:24

And what's 'cheap' in terms of eating out, really? I can only imagine the noses being turned up if op had suggested going to MacDonalds as a cheap meal out!

WitchWay · 02/09/2014 19:28

I'm a meat-eater & often choose the vegetarian option when out because I like vegetarian food but DH & DS moan if I cook it at home

Your birthday, your choice

RufusTheReindeer · 02/09/2014 19:38

Local pub

Lowest profit is made on their bread-dipping starter

Biggest profit is on the vegetarian dishes

I know that's fairly obvious

Bunbaker · 02/09/2014 20:03

"there's just not much I like as far as vegetarian dishes."

So you don't like pasta without a meat sauce? You don't like pizza unless it has meat on it?
You don't like breakfast unless it is a cooked breakfast with meat in it?
You wouldn't eat a baked potato unless it had some kind of filling with meat in it?

What can I say?

FunkyBoldRibena · 02/09/2014 20:12

I don't know if you've been to a vegan/vegetarian restaurant, but they are not cheap. Organic is more expensive.

Erm - I've been going to vegan and vegetarian restaurants for decades, being that next month I will have been a vegetarian for 30 years. And I can categorically say that many are cheaper than or equal in price to; and the quality of food is significantly higher than, meat restaurants.

You haven't explained how you can go to a meat restaurant if you are broke but not a vegetarian one. I'm all ears to find out! Broke is broke, surely?

Bunbaker · 02/09/2014 20:13

Selectively broke IMO.

FunkyBoldRibena · 02/09/2014 20:49

Just as an example:
All day breakfast at my usual veggie cafe £6.10
All day breakfast at a local non veggie cafe £6.50

Both the most expensive salad/pizza at veggie cafe £6.50
Both the most expensive salad/pizza at non veggie cage £10.50

MrsSchadenfreude · 02/09/2014 21:27

Mildred's is the most fabulous veggie restaurant.

Janethegirl · 02/09/2014 21:57

No, I just can't believe a veggie breakfast is worth eating!
Fake sausages, fake bacon etc are not worth the effort. If you're a veggie, stick with vegetables not meat substitutes cos they are horrid.

Janethegirl · 02/09/2014 22:00

Egg on toast would be my veggie breakfast Grin and then I'd be hungry within 2 hours. A proper carnivorous breakfast would see me ok till evening.

Silverdaisy · 02/09/2014 22:07

Has it been confirmed how many are invited? If this a table of 12, then really you can expect people declining. And not because its vegetation, but because people choose not to go.

If it you and another couple then, that is different.

Steakhouse/Brewster's/or a restaunt you have been to before and hated - people can chose not to go out.

Bunbaker · 02/09/2014 22:07

"Fake sausages, fake bacon etc are not worth the effort."

I agree. You are making the mistake of assuming vegetarians substitute "like" for like when eating. A meat free cooked breakfast might be something like this:
Eggs, beans, mushrrooms, tomatoes, hash browns, toast.

ShadowStar · 02/09/2014 22:10

It's pretty obvious that if someone can afford to go to a meat restaurant then they can afford to go to a vegetarian restaurant.

They just don't want to.

MrsSchadenfreude · 02/09/2014 22:10

Avocado and tomato on toast makes a lovely breakfast. Also Eggs Florentine. Omelette with mushrooms, tomatoes, onions, peppers, potatoes.

MrsCosmopilite · 02/09/2014 22:12

How about all the veggies/vegans on here come out for your birthday, OP?

Janethegirl · 02/09/2014 22:17

bunbaker that sounds good but I'd put bacon with that, sausages I'm really picky about as I like a v high meat content as I dislike the ones with rusk etc as a filler. I really do find if I have a breakfast without meat I'm hungry by lunchtime. I prefer to miss lunch as the stuff at work is gross and I don't eat sandwiches. A proper fryup is the way forward for me...

Scholes34 · 02/09/2014 22:19

There are two things in life I really do not understand. First, why people object to women bishops and the second is why meat eaters turn their nose up at a meal without meat.

I've always loved vegetarian food and see the vegetarian option as another choice for me along with all the meat dishes, but it wasn't until my youngest decided to follow a vegetarian diet that I properly understood what a limited choice of food they have in most restaurants. I always check out the menu of any restaurant we're considering (not that we eat out very often) and have to turn down most of them because DC3 doesn't like the one vegetarian option. The fact that he doesn't like goat's cheese is a major drawback.