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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

birthday meal

234 replies

helenenemo · 31/08/2014 20:32

I'm vegetarian. On most other birthdays we go to a local steakhouse and I have the one veggie option on the menu!!

It's my birthday next and I've chosen a lovely vegetarian/vegan place. Apparently I'm totally unreasonable and should change to somewhere with meat. I disagree so I'm turning it over to the lovely folk of MN!

Aibu?

OP posts:
notinagreatplace · 02/09/2014 11:25

If there are people who don't come because they don't like your choice of restaurant, I think that'll tell you who doesn't actually really like you very much. That will be hard but it's useful to know who has sat and watched you eat the same boring meal in the steakhouse multiple times but feels they're too good to make any kind of compromise.

ephemeralfairy · 02/09/2014 11:28

Vegan food is great. The absence of meat and dairy means that chefs have to be really skilled and super-innovative with flavour and texture combinations.
This thread is inspiring me to eat veggie more often :-)

ephemeralfairy · 02/09/2014 11:31

This is a vegan option at the Gate: tell me it doesn't sound delicious...!

Chipotle corn cake V G
Corn & polenta cake , pan-fried & seasoned with chipotle chilli and coriander , served with aubergine, oven-dried tomatoes, sweet potato & served with a red pepper & black bean salsa lime and coriander dressing and crispy fennel

RufusTheReindeer · 02/09/2014 11:38

I went to a veggie restaurant for a birthday a year or two ago, just me and DH

I had a fantastic meal, very cleverly done where it tasted and looked just like fish and chips (think chicken may have gone to the same restaurant )

I was so pleased with it that when I got to work I told everyone how great and tasty it was and described the dish

One of the women said "I don't mean to be rude but that sounds disgusting!"
And everyone laughed

It's sounds pathetic but I was absolutely crushed by that,

the amount of times people go to a steak place and describe their meal and I just say something non committal like I'm glad you had a great time/meal!

MTWTFSS · 02/09/2014 11:40

"I'm vegetarian. On most other birthdays we go to a local steakhouse and I have the one veggie option on the menu!!"

Sounds like you are having your revenge- are these people really your friends?

Osmiornica · 02/09/2014 11:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ch1a · 02/09/2014 11:47

jewels totally agree. It's shocking that some people are unable to go without meat for one meal.

For the poster who asked for suggestions there is a nice vegetarian restaurant in Islington, London called The Gate I went to recently which was really delicious. Vanilla Black gets rave reviews in the city and Manna in Primrose Hill is also great.

I also eat meat but at present aiming for just 2-3 meals a week with meat or fish.

ch1a · 02/09/2014 11:52

Okay I now rtft and it isn't just me who likes The Gate. Good service too in there. Loved it.

angelos02 · 02/09/2014 12:04

I just think it sounds a bit as though you are try to foist your food choices onto your guests. When a vegetarian goes to most restaurants, there are things you can eat there. If a meat-eater goes to a vegetarian restaurant, they don't have a choice.

ephemeralfairy · 02/09/2014 12:07

Erm, they DO have a choice...they can CHOOSE between the many different dishes on the menu. Seriously...?!

SpaceInvaders · 02/09/2014 12:09

YADDDDDNBU. Your birthday, you choose where you get your birthday meal! That's always been the rule here.
I'm not veggie, but I won't drop down dead if there's no meat on the menu. Hmm
Do you demand to go to a veggie restaurant on their birthday? No. So tell 'em to suck it up and stop whining. Smile

notinagreatplace · 02/09/2014 12:09

Not to mention, often there aren't things plural for vegetarians on other menus.. just one thing that is often quite dull and prepared without much interest from the chefs.

ThreeYorkshires · 02/09/2014 12:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whois · 02/09/2014 12:11

If a meat-eater goes to a vegetarian restaurant, they don't have a choice

Oh god what a stupid statement.

You know meat eaters eat food without meat EVERY FUCKING DAY. Mac and cheese, mushroom risotto, jacket with cheese and beans to name but a few. Cheese sarnie. Breakfast eggs on toast.

ephemeralfairy · 02/09/2014 12:15

And really, if there really are people who eat meat at every meal then I worry for their health in the future. Hmm

ShadowStar · 02/09/2014 12:27

Anyone who chooses a restaurant for their birthday is "foisting your food choices onto your guests", vegetarian or not.

If I selected an Italian restaurant, say, for my birthday meal, then I'd be foisting that onto guests who might prefer a steakhouse / Indian restaurant etc etc.

And if they really can't face the thought of a meatless meal, they could always do what my dad did when he was invited to a birthday meal at a vegetarian restaurant. He ate a bacon sandwich before he went out, skipped the main course, and just ate dessert.

Frankly, I thought his refusal to even try a main course was silly and a bit childish, but at least it's better than throwing your toys out of the pram and refusing to set foot across the threshold, as some pp seem to think reasonable.

ephemeralfairy · 02/09/2014 13:04

The point we're all trying to make is that vegetarian food has a huge amount of variety, it's not like there's one 'type' and it all tastes the same.

Gileswithachainsaw · 02/09/2014 13:48

They have a choice of a whole bloody menu. Wtf are you on about

SolidGoldBrass · 02/09/2014 14:00

Vegetarians are, on the whole, choosing not to eat meat. This can give omnivores the impression that vegetarians actually don't much care about food and therefore will accept only having one option on a normal menu, because their virtue is more important than taking pleasure in food.

Not saying this is true of the OP or of every vegetarian or vegan - but I have encountered a few it would be true of. A dietary choice made on ethical grounds is not the same as having a dangerous food allergy (and OK, some people don't have a lot of time for food allergies either.)Mind you, going out for meals with someone who is on a weightloss diet and being a pious PITA about it is no fun, either...

Bunbaker · 02/09/2014 15:48

"Most people have never even tried vegan food."

This^^

Posters saying they wouldn't go if it was vegan because they wouldn't like it, just makes me speechless at their ignorance and presuppositions that vegan meals are tasteless and unsatisfying.

The narrow mindedness and bigotry of a small minority is astonishing (and I am a meat eater)

JennyCalendar · 02/09/2014 16:14

Just looked up the restaurant we went to. It was an Italian vegetarian place called Amico Bio www.amicobio.co.uk

I had the Ravioli filled with smoked cheese and sun dried tomatoes, cherry tomato and basil sauce.

Who couldn't manage pasta filled with tomatoes and cheese (barring allergies and intolerances) for a one off meal to celebrate with a friend?

Gileswithachainsaw · 02/09/2014 16:38

This is mn. People apparently can put themselves out more for strangers on a bus or in a cafe than their friends. Share half your lunch with the kid on the table next to you because their baby sister kicked it on the floor. Sure, throw in baby sitting too while the harassed mum takes explosive poo clad baby to the change room. Go without meat for two hours for a friend, one who's answered phone calls and brought round chocolate at four in the morning when your husband got admitted to a&e, or picked you up from your parents house when your car broke down or she you through a messy divorce? Well that's just too much isn't it.

FunkyBoldRibena · 02/09/2014 16:55

Vegetarians are, on the whole, choosing not to eat meat.

It's not a choice to not do something, it's a choice to DO something. Eating meat is not compulsory, you don't need to do it so you choose to do it. Most meat eaters also have other things that are not meat; eg potatoes, tomatoes, flour, pasta, rice, vegetables etc. You have got it completely the wrong way round.

And many many of us vegetarians actually love food. That's why we eat vegetables, because we love the taste. Not because we are just being awkward. And we accompany friends to meaty restaurants all the fucking time. Is it too much to expect for one night only for meat eaters to stop being such fucking pricks and just have a fucking meat free meal for one fucking time only? And to shut the fuck up and just enjoy it? FFS - what a load of old bollocks you spout SGB.

Bulbasaur · 02/09/2014 17:03

It's your birthday, you can pick where ever you like.

However, they do have the right to not come to your birthday dinner either.

If I was broke and someone wanted to go to a vegetarian place, they'd have to be a very close friend for me to even consider it.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 02/09/2014 17:33

If I had a vegan restaurant, I'd include chips and ketchup. Most people who wouldn't like/or think they wouldn't like mainstream vegetarian/vegan food would probably gobble down chips and ketchup with a smile.
... could even have white, sliced bread to make a sandwich of that, couldn't they?