To report friend to FB for photo of her blacked up?

[Greyhound]

I'm really shocked - cousin of mine has pic of herself on Facebook blacked up. She is white. The picture is of her at a fancy dress party - she has covered her face in dark brown stage make up and is wearing an "Afro" wig and Rastafarian style striped hat.

Her husband is also blacked up.

There's never any articles about the affect of "working fathers" on their children, is there?

and actually if I was a man and looked at the evidence of what happens to women's career progression after they have children- plus was having to face my mother and father muttering about why my wife wasn't doing her job properly AND being teased by my friends for being a "metrosexual" for pram pushing, I might chose to go with the work thing too.

Its a lot to stand up to.

Sabrina I am talking about my experience as Buffy is convinced I must have been discriminated against. My experience and those of many female friends and female colleagues in my profession is that women are not discriminated against.

There was a particularly nonsensical statement about the best work being given to men. That simply does not happen. Work is distributed on the basis of who has capacity, skills and interest. Gender simply does not feature.

The firm I worked at previously is probably the most successful law firm overall in Scotland (I left because my current firm has a better reputation for my particular specialisation btw not because there were nasty men there)

I'm still friendly with several women there and they would be astonished and probably offended at being told that firm discriminates against women.

Thehissing - again you seem to have missed out that women might just want to spend time with their children. Tbh, I would be more inclined to argue that there is more pressure on women to return to work and put their children into childcare.

and no Mrs of course women don't have to do housework but if you have read threads in relationships etc then you will know that many, many men are so committed to not doing house work that they would rather let their relationships fall apart due to resentment/exhaustion of the female partner rather than do their share. There are HUGE barriers to the domestic burden becoming shared equally between adults in families with children and all the evidence out there supports this view. You must know its not that simple.

no I am not missing out that women want to spend time with their children, I am pointing out that there are societal pressures that create barriers to men working equally with their partners on childrearing and domestic tasks which result in having children disproportionately affecting women's careers.

, Phaedra? I notice that you haven't said anything about homophobia or racial discrimination. Do those not exist, either?

What on earth are you on about? Or is that a nasty little dig? Actually I made it quite clear what my views were on the blacking up.

So far as homophobia again this won't fit your agenda but in my experience law firms tend to be completely uninterested in whether some-one is gay. In as much as I know about my partners' private lives the ones who I know are gay more or less would be the same proportion as in the general population.

As for racism I will grant you there are few non white faces certainly in Edinburgh firms. That however in my experience is because we don't get applicants. Our trainee selection is done on the basis of calling every applicant to an informal cocktail party and then whittling that down to the ones we want to see again. At the early stage they are overwhelmingly white. Why that is I don't know. You would have to address that question to the law faculties of the universities.

Work is distributed on the basis of who has capacity, skills and interest. Gender simply does not feature.

Do you ride to work on a unicorn too?

Buffy, Yesterday, you argued against my proposal that boys are socialised to be the way they are because of some(e.g.)cultural and religious beliefs. I said that many of the opinions about men and women are a result of what people have been taught as part of the religion/culture and that religion/culture therefore has more influence than whether someone just happens to be born with a penis. If a boy is born into a culture where men and women are treated equally then why would he grow up to think he is superior?

We can all read what buffy said. She said 'more than likely' but she also said that she didn't want to tell you your own experiences, so she believes you.

However, do you believe your experience is every woman's experience? Does one woman not experiencing discrimination mean it doesn't happen?

Hope no I don't. Sorry if it's boring and all about me but that's how it is. I am not going to go along with this "the boys get all the interesting work " whine as it doesn't happen.

Cocktail party? You select people at a cocktail party? I am a lawyer, too. (Not in the UK) Minor derail (or maybe not) but I am curious about how this works.

Scone, I think that is a preliminary stage of whittling down. I've heard of it being done before. I actually think it makes a lot of sense.

"I'd say notions of male superiority came first and shaped mainstream religion. "

Where do you think those notions came from though? This is what I was asking yesterday, do you think men are born to think they are superior?

Scone, opinions vary about the usefulness of the "cocktail party" thing, but IME as a recruiter it's sometimes used as a test of interpersonal skills, social responsiveness and other similar job requirements

Apologies, though - that really IS separate to the thread title!!

I have pretty good interpersonal skills but I would hate the cocktail party thing to the point where it would put me off applying for the job, what a hideous idea.

or someone who came from a class or background where going to a cocktail party would not be part of their culture and thus quite intimidating.

or someone who was female who did not want to wear a dress or make-up but would look like they were making a point if they wore a suit.

but a plus for people who have been brought up with cocktail parties who would feel comfortable and confident.

hideous.

Yes, religion certainly has a lot to answer for!

"men cannot be certain that the children they are helping to support are biologically theirs and so sought to control women"

This sounds more social again rather than biological tbh.

I think some of you sound a bit judgemental about the cocktail party tbh. I think it's just an opportunity to see how people interact with each other outside a formal interview environment.

why judgemental? I am just saying that i would find it hideous as I would feel like a fish out of water. I would be much happier to be tested on my abilities or observed socially in a way that didn't disadvantage me because of my dislike of wearing dresses. Is going to cocktail parties a big part of being a good lawyer?