To report friend to FB for photo of her blacked up?

[Greyhound]

I'm really shocked - cousin of mine has pic of herself on Facebook blacked up. She is white. The picture is of her at a fancy dress party - she has covered her face in dark brown stage make up and is wearing an "Afro" wig and Rastafarian style striped hat.

Her husband is also blacked up.

It is - probably subconsciously - a way of diverting everyone's attention away from their maleness.

Horse shit. It is a way of drawing attention towards the peculiar hatred these gangs have towards poor white girls because of their race. Their hateful, male penises are not penetrating women from their own cultures, from their own communities. Why do you think this is, Buffy? Why were those Rotheram girls at risk walking the streets at night but their Asian counterparts were not?

*Had you considered that this might be because it's instinctively uncomfortable? This really is my point: those of us who've grown up in an era when overt racism became socially unacceptable, it's just quite obvious that you wouldn't do it.

You don't have to have read scads of post-colonial theory or had hundreds of earnest discussions around a dinner table. It just feels wrong, it jars, like vintage Enid Blyton seems obviously racist and sexist now*

So what point are you trying to make beyond that you are more clever, more insightful, more sensitive, and a deeper thinker than anyone else? I was born in 1959. All of those hideous shows I mentioned (and the Robertson gollies)were the norm. I grew up in an era of change as more and more of them dropped off the list of being acceptable. We look back in wonder that they could ever have been acceptable.

You're contradicting yourself. You were scathing about the idea of this not coming up as a topic of conversation; you are now being patronising because why would it need to be discussed as it's self-evidently wrong.

All men have male privilege goodness me what nonsense. The greatest privilege in the UK is being white followed by class and education. I'm extremely privileged because of that combination being female is irrelevant.

Hear bloody hear, Phaedra! Does Buffy honestly think we have zero grasp of the concept of privilege? One of my greatest bugbears about feminism is how it is obsessed with privilege and patriarchy whilst ignoring the biggest threat to a man or woman's health and well-being: socio-economic deprivation.

All white people have white privilege. A disabled person who's white has white privilege. An immigrant from Bulgaria who's white has white privilege. A woman who's white has white privilege. All men have male privilege. A disabled man has male privilege. A black man has male privilege. A gay man has male privilege. All heterosexuals have straight privilege. Someone who's mixed face, someone who's a woman, someone who's poor. All rich people have privilege coming from their wealth- whether that rich person is severely disabled, is a woman, is LGBT. All British people have the privilege of coming from a fairly progressive, developed country with all the benefits of free education, the safety and the NHS- whether they are poor, uneducated, poorly educated, gay, a woman or not white. Some privileges provide more than others- I would far prefer to be a woman, without male privilege, but with the privileges of being from a developed country, BUT a man, in the same position as me otherwise, will have a better deal, which is why it is male privilege.

Buffy, what I think is that you are expressing yourself perfectly well and that, within that expression, you have slagged me off as having little or no intelligence, being a twat and inferior to you. For someone who is supposed to support the sisterhood you have spoken to me with the utmost disregard. Your imperiousness mixed with tedious soundbites and feminist dogma are used as a weapon whenever anyone opposes your horse shit ideologies.

Bambini if one is young and white they will have less concept of the affect racism did and does have.
It is privileged to be a white person. You do experience less prejudice and have more opportunities. Same with being a man, being straight, bring rich.
Look at who rules the world? Our own prime ministers and heads of business and media and white, straight, rich, able bodies men.
I'm not saying feel ashamed but be aware you have less understanding of what a lot of people go through. This are weighted heavily towards you.

Phaedra sex is not irrelevant. Yes as rich and white you have far more freedoms than the majority but you still have less than men in the same position as you do.

My initial post was supposed to be grimly mocking in its tone yet I believe it made a fair point. I am sorry you do not understand the nuances of sardonicism.

I know what privilege is, and how it is unthinkingly part of us - re rotheram, the police, officials and media didn't hone in on culture as a reason which is why it continued unchecked and unchallenged for well over a decade.

Their maleness was secondary to their culture in this particular case, and it was the very idea of white privilege and implied racism that stopped the relevant authorities from challenging as they would have if the abusers had been white.

Regardless, I sincerely hope the OP of this thread is proud of the outcome - she has pitted several women against each other and encouraged frothing calls of 'racist' against those who (due to their unthinking white privilege, not due to deep rooted nastiness) were unaware of the affect blacking up can have.
She never intended to report the 'adored' cousin, it was just a convenient outlet for her to display her 'right on' credentials.
Manipulative and shitty imo.

A thread title of 'AIBU to want people to realise why it is offensive to black-up, even for fancy dress' would have been far less obnoxious and led to an informative, educational outcome.

The thing is, if you aren't a member of an oppressed class - non-white people, women, disabled people, etc, then you don't get to decide whether you are privileged relative to them or not.

Similarly, you don't get to decide whether or not your actions are racist or misogynistic. People with the characteristics involved decide that.

If nothing else, it is simply good manners to listen and try to change your behaviour to act in more respectful ways.

What unites the Rotherham abuses and the Saville et al abuses is that the perpetrators are male. Why is no-one talking about this?

Ah. I see someone has been on fb rallying her feminist allies. Or summat. I'm off...

"No, I didn't mean it to sound like a spat out insult.

It was supposed to be conciliatory. So that went well

I mean that one of the privileges of being a member of a privileged group is that you don't have to notice that you are. You can go through your life under the impression that hard work and shiny shoes are all that matters for everyone."

Fair enough, might have been the casual "yeah" so sorry if I misread your intention.

Being white wasn't a privileged where I grew up (though I do understand the concept of white privilege and agree it exists) as really everyone as practically everyone my community/school etc was white. And growing up in a quite severely deprived area - we weren't that privileged at all.

Similarly, you don't get to decide whether or not your actions are racist or misogynistic. People with the characteristics involved decide that.

Go and bloody well read Mongoose's post. She does have the characteristics involved and she does not believe the OP's friend is racist.

I wasn't kidding; I was being largely sardonic.

Scarlett I see it rather differently. I think that they key problem with both the Rotherham abuses and the Saville ones is that the police, social services, health services etc, weren't taking girls and young women seriously.

Girls and young women are not believed when they talk about rape and sexual assault - that is a serious cultural problem which we all face.

What some of us are trying to say is that, when you are a member of the underclass and have no money to feed your kids or go to university or move from the sink estate on which you were born and raised, 'white/male privilege' can get to fuck. No-one cares.