to ask my husband about pair of underpants in the washing that aren't his?

[bluehaze]

He came back from business trip last week and I was just folding the clean washing. I came across a pair of underpants that aren't his - definitely not his. I know this as a fact. I looked in the label and they are from Debenhams and every other pair he owns are from M$S. So I jokingly say, you have someone else's underpants in your washing! cue, an awful lot of loud noise, trips upstairs to get the other 'matching' pairs for proof (from M$S so definitely NOT matching), asserting that they are definitely his, and I am wrong. Now what began as a fairly innocuous situation has developed into a scene where I am really wondering where these came from. My mind boggles at the possibilities - aibu to investigate further - and if not, then how do i investigate? Has anyone else had the same?

Erm, did he get laundry done at the hotel and his washing was mixed up with someone else's?

My dp came home with a pair of ladies jeans last week! Theyd had a company away day to a assault course type of thing and had all changed after, throwing their muddy stuff in his boot. Somehow he scooped up her jeans with his.
Could this be the case??

They are men's underpants I presume?

Has he been sharing a room while on this business trip with a colleague? If they do look similar it would be easy to pick up the wrong pair.

If you think you have reason not to trust him then jist call the hotel, they will be able to tell you if it was single or double occupancy that night

Did he get funny about you asking him?

This has happened with my husband before. He plays football twice a week and often comes home with wrong bits of kit and underwear after getting mixed up in changing rooms. They all swap back at next game. Could something similar have happened and you've only just noticed them now?

Could he not have bought them while he was away?

I think the ladies jeans sounds weirder

I can think of quick a lot of innocent explanations for this. Most likely a mix up in the hotel laundry. So why did your DH get so defensive about this when you asked? That's highly suspicious and I think you definitely should investigate further.

If they are men's underwear (which from your post it seems they are) then what are you worried about? Is DH bi or do you have reason to suspect he might be? Otherwise picking up someone elses dirty laundry (colleague etc.) in a room, changing room at the gym etc. seems more likely.

You didnt excuse him, well it could have been perfectly explainable, I've had people's socks before.

But his reaction is of a man with something to hide.

It doesn't seem to me to be the OP making this out bigger than it is. The OP says she asked him jokingly and then he went all huffy.

Yes it's definitely the DH's reaction that is suspicious rather than the pants per se.

But his reaction is of a man with something to hide.

Wouldn't his reaction depend on how the op approached him about this?

OP said she jokingly mentioned it.

If she'd lost her shit and was screaming at him, then yeah, I'd that reaction.

But OP says she said it jokingly and he went overboard with his reaction, so yeah, that reaction says alot.

It reads to me that the OP was not bothered by finding them at all,
Assumed it was some sort of mix-up and would give them a bit of a laugh

It was the DH's reaction that weirded her out, and I don't really blame her

That was a very oddly defensive reaction
Although I couldn't say what he's being defensive about.....

If he'd said "Oh yeah I needed to buy a new pair as hadn't taken enough." or "Well I used the laundry so they probably got mixed up there." OP wouldn't haven't given it an extra thought.

I would find it weird for my partner to know where all my undies came from and challenge me on having the wrong ones. It's probably completely innocent.

Or they belong to his gay lover.

Something has made you feel uneasy enough to post about it on here. I think there's a lot to be said for gut instinct. There are plenty of innocent explanations such as using hotel gym and accidentally picking up another persons pants in the changing rooms, but your DH's reaction seems a bit odd. Are you sure he didn't buy them when away?

There was a post exactly like this some time ago. The DH couldn't explain it and there was a suggestion that his colleagues were playing a joke on him.

Maybe he genuinely does think they are his and he is annoyed that you think you know more about his underwear than he does.

No idea.but dont jump to conclusion or it'll be LTB by 3pm
His reaction,well depend if he feels attacked he'll get defensive
I hope its an inocoous reason

I've found rogue undies, shorts etc in DP's laundry a few times. He runs several times a week with some colleagues during their lunch break and he has scooped up bits of their kit with his own on the changing room.

Haha,rogue undies.getting all heavy,and giving bovver to the other pants

It could be ;
A mix up with the hotel laundry
Left by previous room occupant
Mix up in the changing room for sports etc
The result of a late night skinny dipping session
Actually be his own left from previous Debenhams pant buying many years previously and lurked at the back of the drawer until needed for packing.

or

He shared the room with another man to save money.

or

He shared the room with another man because he wanted to.

What has he said about it?