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Original poster

To let 16yo DS dye his hair?

88 replies

CallMeExhausted · 30/08/2014 04:25

My DS is very socially awkward and has a hefty dose of "not concerned about what others think" but not in a bad way. He hangs out with the "odd" kids at school - the creative but brainy types and loves programming computers and working in the metal shop fabricating his own creations.

In the last year, he has sprouted up from about 5'8 to well over 6'2 and was exceptionally self conscious about his height to the point that he did his best to blend into the background which is not easy when you tower over your family

Over the summer, he has decided that if he is going to stick out, he might as well do it in a way he can have fun with. Prior to the end of the school year, he asked me if he could dye a streak in his hair. He added a blue streak that faded quickly, but was quite happy with it.

Now, he has asked me if he can dye his hair purple all over before he returns to school on Tuesday. As it does not contravene the school dress code, I have agreed (and am actually helping him with it - mostly so that he doesn't also dye my house purple).

I know his father (my XH) will not be thrilled, but since he is barely a part of DS's life, I don't really care, and neither does DS.

The way I see it, hair is the safest way to rebel. It will still be in a neat, short style, and the colour does fade fairly quickly. He is a very good kid - polite and respectful - and a good student. His small group of friends are very similar to him. With the hell some of my friends are going through with their teens, I know how lucky we are.

So, tomorrow he goes purple... have I lost my mind?

OP posts:
BUNMUM · 30/08/2014 04:32

Go for it!
My 16 year old niece is currently purple and looks fab.

steff13 · 30/08/2014 04:33

It looks like you've confirmed that it's not against the school's dress code, so I say it's fine. My son (15) used temporary color on his hair. It was blue, and it was out in a few washes. He wanted to bleach his hair (it's very dark brown) first so the color would take better, but I nixed that idea. I was afraid it would damage his hair.

BUNMUM · 30/08/2014 04:36

Ooh my grown up son has been purple also but currently his Mohawk is blue/black.
Looks fab!

butterfliesinmytummy · 30/08/2014 04:36

Speaking as a previously purple haired teenager, I would let him! It doesn't contravene school rules and it doesn't really affect anyone else. I'm all for kids not conforming and find it refreshing that he is keen not to follow the flock.

However, as he's "socially awkward", I would just remind him that his new hair is likely to make people stare and ensure that he's ok with that.

Hope he enjoys his new look.

FamiliesShareGerms · 30/08/2014 04:51

Yup, what Butterflies said. At the end of the day it's hair, it will grow out anyway (has he thought about needing to do his roots??)

sykadelic · 30/08/2014 04:56

Agree with everyone else (including you). As long as his school (and his work if he's working) have no problem with it, go for it!

It's a great (relatively cheap), easy way to express yourself.

R4roger · 30/08/2014 04:57

i dobut his school would allow it, but is it wash out?

however · 30/08/2014 04:58

I'm conservative when it comes to 'crazy' hair colour. Ie, I hate it.

But, I've designated 16 to be the age when I'll allow it. So I'd give him the go ahead in the same circumstances.

MaitlandGirl · 30/08/2014 05:06

My 13 yr old DD currently has turquoise and purple hair. I spoke to the principal at the high school last year about hair dye and he said that it's only hair and he's got more important things to worry about with the kids that what colour hair they have.

I have to say I agree with him, obviously says I'm the one who dyes DDs hair - at least with boys if you/he/the school really hate it, it's not such an issue giving him a grade 2 cut all over. DDs hair is half way down her back and she'd be gutted if we cut it super short to get rid of the colour.

Brabra · 30/08/2014 05:35

he's 16? you are 'letting' him?

SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker · 30/08/2014 06:03

My 13 DS currently has dyed hair and it needed bleach to do it. I don't care if it damages his hair because we will just razor it off when he is done with it and he can have a really short cut.

I think it is a great way for kids to experiment and try something out of the box with no permanent consequences.

My older DS dyed his hair pink in secondary school. Out of 1600 kids he was the only one. We talked about it beforehand, I said that it is a very traditional area and will be extremely noteworthy and was he ready to take some heat on it. He said yes. It did surprise a lot of people because if you don't know him well he doesn't seem the type. Some comments were rude but he was ready for it. He is now at uni and is kind of over it.

bellybuttonfairy · 30/08/2014 06:24

Your ds sounds great. Let him have purple hair.

KoalaDownUnder · 30/08/2014 06:59

Add message | Report | Message poster Brabra Sat 30-Aug-14 05:35:10
he's 16? you are 'letting' him?

Eh? Confused

notquiteruralbliss · 30/08/2014 07:55

I think Brabrs's 'letting' him comment was probably surprise that a parent had much say in a 16 year old's hair colour. my DCs have had a variety of coloured, from about age 12. Often the first time know of it is when I see it. It is only hair.

MissWimpyDimple · 30/08/2014 07:59

Be very wary of bleach. My mum helped my brother bleach the top of his hair way back in the 80s at age 16. It literally never really grew back and he was thinning and then bald on top from then on. Not saying the bleach caused it, but it definitely sped the whole process up!
Otherwise go for it Wink
His height will be a definite plus in years to come though Smile

FrancesNiadova · 30/08/2014 08:09

Yep, go for it.

hamptoncourt · 30/08/2014 08:10

Deffo let him do it! My hair has been every colour imaginable since I was 14, including blue/purple/lilac/pink.

As PP have said, you can't actually stop him anyway. May as well get some "cool mum" points out of it Grin

R4roger · 30/08/2014 08:13

i have to do my dcs!
I do moan and say when I was their age I was doing my own.

hamptoncourt · 30/08/2014 08:25

You are right roger but I think I am far more precious about the resulting state of my bathroom/towels/floors than my mother was Smile

Anomaly · 30/08/2014 08:41

My only reservation with this sort of thing is where do you draw the line? In an effort to be 'different' kids dye their hair, next its piercings, then tattoos. I've taught students with those awful ear stretching things in and seen some terrible tattoos which I know in later years they will regret.

In the circumstances dyeing his hair is probably harmless but I would talk to your DS about feeling 'different' because there are billions of us on the planet millions of people feel like him. He's still at school his social circle is still fairly limited at college or university or work he'll find he's not as oddball as all that.

SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker · 30/08/2014 08:46

Both of my kids have dyed their hair but have shown zero interest in piercings or tattoos

ssd · 30/08/2014 08:48

good on him!

I had purple hair and blue hair when I was 16, if you can't dye your hair mental colours at 16, when the hell can you?!

Girlwhowearsglasses · 30/08/2014 09:36

Love that everyone say go for it to this!

MajesticWhine · 30/08/2014 09:41

I have teenage children (younger than 16) who do whatever they want with their hair. Blue dye, pink dye, dip dye etc. I seem to have lost any part in whether they are allowed to do this. Did I do something wrong? Grin

ByTheSea · 30/08/2014 09:41

DD-15 currently has bright pink hair and it looks great. Unfortunately we have to take it back to a natural colour this week due to her school's dress code. She has been more confident this summer than in a long time. I say go for it.