To let 16yo DS dye his hair?

[CallMeExhausted]

My DS is very socially awkward and has a hefty dose of "not concerned about what others think" but not in a bad way. He hangs out with the "odd" kids at school - the creative but brainy types and loves programming computers and working in the metal shop fabricating his own creations.

In the last year, he has sprouted up from about 5'8 to well over 6'2 and was exceptionally self conscious about his height to the point that he did his best to blend into the background which is not easy when you tower over your family

Over the summer, he has decided that if he is going to stick out, he might as well do it in a way he can have fun with. Prior to the end of the school year, he asked me if he could dye a streak in his hair. He added a blue streak that faded quickly, but was quite happy with it.

Now, he has asked me if he can dye his hair purple all over before he returns to school on Tuesday. As it does not contravene the school dress code, I have agreed (and am actually helping him with it - mostly so that he doesn't also dye my house purple).

I know his father (my XH) will not be thrilled, but since he is barely a part of DS's life, I don't really care, and neither does DS.

The way I see it, hair is the safest way to rebel. It will still be in a neat, short style, and the colour does fade fairly quickly. He is a very good kid - polite and respectful - and a good student. His small group of friends are very similar to him. With the hell some of my friends are going through with their teens, I know how lucky we are.

So, tomorrow he goes purple... have I lost my mind?

a 16 year old (who is an adult in the UK)

They aren't an adult in the UK.

"There is no single law that defines the age of a child across the UK. The UN Convention on the Rights of the Child, ratified by the UK government in 1991, states that a child “means every human being below the age of eighteen years unless, under the law applicable to the child, majority is attained earlier” (Article 1, Convention on the Rights of the Child, 1989)."

"England, Wales, Northern Ireland and Scotland each have their own guidance setting out the duties and responsibilities of organisations to keep children safe, but they agree that a child is anyone who has not yet reached their 18th birthday."

Owl a 16 year old in Scotland can leave school, work, get married, apply for a passport, enter into contracts with no need for parental consent.

Parents have the responsibility and the right to say how their children should be brought up. This includes being in charge and saying what they can and cannot do until they are 16 and advising and guiding until 18.

The second paragraph is from Scottish Government literature.

Because I said I would, and because DS said he was OK with it, here you go...

He is happy with it - I think it looks pretty good.

That's a really good purple. Love it (& am slightly jealous as I teach in a school where it would definitely NOT go down well - for the students OR for me! ).

Bless him, he looks great. A bit like Russell Crowe with purple hair! As a fellow purple teen twenty years ago I salute him.

He really does look like Russell Crowe.

Well, I don't like it. After seeing the pic, I still don't.

But at 16, I'd expect my kids to ask me first, and I would give them the go ahead without any consideration to whether they are legally able to marry, be frogmarched home by SS or buy a house. Because that has bugger all to do with dyeing one's hair or asking parents permission to do so.

Surely they would have to ask because they might ruin the bathroom and towels, wouldn't really care about the hair, in an emergency that can be cut or re-dyed. I would also expect even an over 18 year old to ask as it is the parents house.

This includes being in charge and saying what they can and cannot do until they are 16 and advising and guiding until 18.

And yet, Phaedra, they are still not considered an adult.

England, Wales, Northern Ireland and Scotland each have their own guidance setting out the duties and responsibilities of organisations to keep children safe, but they agree that a child is anyone who has not yet reached their 18th birthday.

He looks lovely OP!

People who say bleaching can cause baldness - is that true even with those highlighter spray bleaches? DS1 has gone very mousy and it makes him look ill. I was going to let him use a highlighter spray, as school wouldn't notice and it'll just brighten his hair back to how it was when he was younger. But not if it will make him bald.

Your sons hair looks brilliant :)

My only concern would have been the school, but as you've mentioned the headmaster being known for having colourful hair then I don't see how it'd be an issue!

I remember it wasn't in our school rules, until one girl in my year dyed her hair pink. They then changed the school rules so that they could suspend her until she came back with natural coloured hair

Purple is a PITA though so have more on hand for when it fades! I dyed mine purple at 19, I had to bleach it first and within two weeks I had multi-coloured hair as the purple faded. It was awesome before that point!

I want to move to Canada and redo my education now, your sons school sounds amazing with the mix of courses there!

Haha, i love it! Your ds is a handsome chap apparently, i just showed the pic to dd who said something along those lines might have been phwoar

All power to him, life is for fun, trying things out, seeing what works for you especially at his age!