To think it's odd to take your grown up dc abroad on holiday and not invite their partners or dc?

[ikeaismylocal]

My pil like to take their dc abroad when each one turns 40, the pil pay for the entire holiday for them and their dc (4 dc all in their 30s/40s) the last holiday was 2 weeks in Greece when sil turned 40.

It is very kind of them to pay for their dc to go away but there is never the mention that partners or dc would be welcome but obviously would have to pay for themselves.

The last time dp went away it caused lots of issues between us mostly because he spent a large chunk of his annual leave on this holiday, we live in dp'a home country and at that stage I wasn't very settled here which made spending 2 weeks alone worse.

Dp turns 40 soon, we will have 2 toddlers when he turns 40, aibu to say if he wants to go away and celebrate his 40th without us he can take the dc with him as they are as much his family as his parents and siblings.

I just couldn't imagine organizing holidays for just my dc and dp 20 years after they leave home, surely it's important to embrace the way the family has changed.

I was about to come on and say it was very odd, but that's because I can't imagine DH wanting to spend 2 weeks with his mum and sisters every time one of them turned 40. I'd also be miffed that he wasn't celebrating it here at home with us and his friends (though I suppose there'd be nothing stopping him from doing that as well).

But then I thought - what if it wasn't parents and a birthday? DH has been away with friends on biking and snowboarding holidays with his mates, and I've not minded at all. Likewise, I've been away with my friends, and I've visited my parents (I'm not in the UK) without him, it's not really that different.

So I suppose if your DH is happy to go away with his parents and siblings, then why not?

I think it's quite nice. You seem to be seeing it as him choosing to be with them instead of being with you, but surely you'll have your own celebrations for him? It doesn't have to be an either/or scenario.

He enjoys spending time with his siblings and I think it's quite sweet that their parents want to give them holidays that they couldn't give them as children. Also, it's not like it's every year. It's only when they have a significant birthday.

But I am a sucker for nice family traditions.

That sounds like a good plan, you are a family now with dcs.

I think it's quite nice having some quality time just with them tbh.

Op dh just said he would like to go away for a few days on his birthday and anyone is welcome to join them. Its primarily up to him what he wants, and if it's possible regarding childcare and money.