To use this name myself?

[PeanutKitKat]

We are expecting DD1 (DC2) in a couple of months. I had a conversation with a friend last year about baby names. Just for context, we are not massively close but get on fairly well, our husbands are very close friends however and we see them at least fortnightly. They have a DS too and I would expect them to try for more kids in the future.

We tipsily shared with each other what we would have picked for girls names first time round. The trouble is, now I really like the name she mentioned. I have read all sorts on here about not being able to reserve names, they may never have a child of that sex etc, but I just wanted to do a sort of straw poll to see realistically how much it would actually bother you if you were my friend in this situation. Am just concerned I'm trying to use all those reasons above to justify it to myself because I really want to use the name.

As an aside, the name is not unusual but in the top 50 for girls names last year.
P.S please be kind, I have not made a final decision yet!

I didn't want to name my child the same name as my SIL had named hers, despite it being the name I had always wanted for a boy, as they would have had the same full name, I mean same first name and same surname, and been a year apart at the same village school.

It really was easier just to pick another name

Is it a family name? Many of my male relatives on my father's side (including my father) share a particular name as a first or second name, so if there's that sort of tradition, it's fine, though from what you say, there isn't that background to it.

So if it's not, I'd probably prefer not to use it, not least because I share my name with a second cousin, and at a family funeral, was greeted with, "You're the other Emma Bearhug!" and I responded without thinking by saying, "But I was first!" (She's the other one!) I was already well into my 20s by this point, rather than being about 8... I am also of a generation where about 25% of the people my age are also called Emma, and the advent of the internet means I realise there are quite a few of us around that also share my surname, and I'm over myself now. (Also, she changed her surname on marriage, which is about the first time I haven't ranted about why do women change their names on marriage... I need to have a long talk with myself about some things.)

As others say, if you didn't know, it wouldn't be a problem. But you do know, so on balance, it's probably best not to. Do ask her, and see what she says, but I think you need to be prepared for the likelihood that she'll say no, and if so, to go along with it.