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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To post a message about a missing child

189 replies

alreadytaken · 29/08/2014 09:54

A five-year-old boy with a brain tumour has been taken without consent from hospital by his parents, sparking a major police hunt for the family.

Ashya King was taken from Southampton General Hospital and is now believed to be in France with his parents and six siblings.

Police said he needs constant medical care and there are "serious concerns" for his life if he is not found today.

The family, from Southsea, Portsmouth, were travelling in a grey coloured Hyundai I800 Style CRDI, registration KP60 HWK.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-28978655

OP posts:
StillStayingClassySanDiego · 29/08/2014 09:56

I heard about this on radio 2.

I hope he's found quickly, bless him.

chopinbabe · 29/08/2014 10:10

YANBU

londonrach · 29/08/2014 10:14

Difficult one this one as it's parents that have taken him and surely they have the right for what best for their little boy. They taken him to family in france with his siblings.

cupofsneeze · 29/08/2014 10:15

I wonder how desperate the parents must be to have made the decision to run with their little boy.

I'm sure theres more to this story and whatever it is it will probably be hearbreaking Sad

Maryz · 29/08/2014 10:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sparechange · 29/08/2014 10:20

How on EARTH is that a difficult one?
The parents are depriving a small child of proper medical treatment, and the chance to properly recover from a hugely risky operation.
This isn't a fucking MMR debate. They've snatched him from hospital while he is recovering from brain surgery and needs specialist care.

Sirzy · 29/08/2014 10:23

The parents are depriving a small child of proper medical treatment

The thing is we don't know what that medical treatment is. If they have been told he only has days to live then I can fully understand why the parents would just want to get away from the hospital. It probably isn't the right thing to do, but I doubt they are thinking straight really.

It's a horrible situation really

123Jump · 29/08/2014 10:24

I'm a nurse, and I can tell you now, I do not know how I would cope watching my child suffer in hospital. All the being poked with needles, tubes, pain....it isn't black and white, and in my opinion is very ignorant to think it is.
We don't know enough about this story to make judgements either way, IMO.

londonrach · 29/08/2014 10:24

Because spare as his parents they have the right to refuse treatment. He sounds a very ill little boy and seeing him laying in that hospital must be heart breaking for them. Quiet rightly we haven't been told the full story here.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 29/08/2014 10:27

I hope they find him soon.

HolyQuadrityDrinkFeckArseGirls · 29/08/2014 10:28

Yes, op how clever if you to ask mners to hound a family in tragic situation. Maybe you will cope and paste their address too? Obviously you know much better how to treat and parent a sick boy you know nothing of than his own parents. What a nasty post.

Shakirasma · 29/08/2014 10:28

Poor family.

Mrsjayy · 29/08/2014 10:29

I just think its incredibly sad and dangerous the parents felt they had to do this but I also think there is 2 sides to every story and the news cant give full details that poor sick lad Sad

sparechange · 29/08/2014 10:30

The thing is we don't know what that medical treatment is

The CCTV photos of him being removed from hospital show he has got a nasal tube in. So he needs to be tube fed at the very least. He has had recent brain surgery, so he probably also needs specialist care to treat the site of the surgery.

If the assumption is that the child is terminal, that I couldn't give a flying one about the supposed rights of healthy adults to spend their days with their child. They are frankly insignificant compared to the rights of that child to proper palliative care and pain relief, and not dying in considerable pain hiding out in another country under the radar of the authorities.

Floralnomad · 29/08/2014 10:31

I don't want to make comment about this particular case but I'm not sure as parents that they do have the right to refuse treatment for him .

HolyQuadrityDrinkFeckArseGirls · 29/08/2014 10:31

They surely must be either thick or want to harm their dying child. Let's not worry though the OP is omnipresent and knows best. Hope no one ever judges you in a difficult situation like you are doing.

Hendricksandcucumber · 29/08/2014 10:32

I think given the circumstances (wide ranging media appeal) that it's likely there are some significant child protection issues here. A hospital is a place of safety and if the little boy may be under police protection powers (social workers don't have the power to remove children/not allow parents to remove them from a hospital, only the police or a judge can make this decision. Often a child will be placed under police protection until a judge has granted a care order) or a care order.

sallysparrow157 · 29/08/2014 10:34

If be only has day to live and his parents don't want further treatment the hospital would support that. If they didn't want to stay in hospital this would be supported in such a way that any pain or distressing symptoms he had would be managed.
His parents have taken him without an of this support. If he is dying somewhere in France with no medication and no medical or nursing support he may well be in severe pain, having seizures that can't be controlled, that kind of thing. So even though being in hospital may not be in his best interests, what his parents have done is certainly not in his best interests either.

chopinbabe · 29/08/2014 10:36

Yes, I think if I had their address I would copy and paste it.

Dragging a very ill child on a long journey is not a good idea. he isn't recovering from a broken leg. Parents don't have the right to trump medical advice: the child's rights come first and amongst the most basic of those rights is the right to be kept pain free as far as possible and to be given the best chance of recovery.

A car and ferry journey doesn't contribute to either of those.

Mrsjayy · 29/08/2014 10:37

Do the drs not have power to over rule parents about something like this and if parents want to withold treatment they need to go to court?

HolyQuadrityDrinkFeckArseGirls · 29/08/2014 10:42

And then you would get in trouble with police. Even newspapers can't print that but you can? Hmm

sanfairyanne · 29/08/2014 10:43

did they go to france for better medical care perhaps?

sparechange · 29/08/2014 10:48

They arrived in France at 8pm last night and haven't yet turned up at a hospital, so it seems very very unlikely that they took him in order to get French hospital treatment.

Sirzy · 29/08/2014 11:00

I think people need to remember that this family are going through turmoil, they probably aren't thinking straight.

No they shouldn't have done it but it really is a situation where you have to walk in someone else's shoes before you judge them.

FlossyMoo · 29/08/2014 11:29

My first though is not to vilify the parents. We have no idea at what stage this little boy's illness is at or why the parents saw running away as their only option. I don't think their first thought is to do him harm at all.

My aunt has just refused all medical intervention regarding her terminal stomach cancer. She wishes to die at home surrounded by her family. At 72 yo she has been granted this without question.

Things are not as black and white as the media perceive.

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