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AIBU?

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Original poster

To post a message about a missing child

189 replies

alreadytaken · 29/08/2014 09:54

A five-year-old boy with a brain tumour has been taken without consent from hospital by his parents, sparking a major police hunt for the family.

Ashya King was taken from Southampton General Hospital and is now believed to be in France with his parents and six siblings.

Police said he needs constant medical care and there are "serious concerns" for his life if he is not found today.

The family, from Southsea, Portsmouth, were travelling in a grey coloured Hyundai I800 Style CRDI, registration KP60 HWK.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-28978655

OP posts:
AuntieStella · 29/08/2014 14:21

There has been a further statement; key bits were:

The boy left the ward with his family as a normal part of his rehabilitation. It was only when he did not return when expected, his parents could not be contacted, and the hospital had been searched, that the police were alerted.

If Ashya does not receive (some of?) the treatment he currenty receives, or if he is given the wrong treatment, his condition would rapidly deteriorate. Furthermore he is on assisted feeding, and the pump's battery is close to expiry. If he does not receive appropriate feed, his condition is expected to deteriorate sharply.

Karsyn · 29/08/2014 14:25

What if they family getting treatment for pain feeding follow up etc where they took him to b/c not happy with the NHS or the hospital? It's e parents decision to make if they want to get healthcare elsewhere.

Karsyn · 29/08/2014 14:27

and if they've got police at French hosps looking for him then te parents probably won't feel they can take him for treatment even if they planned doing just that. Could be handled better.

Original poster
alreadytaken · 29/08/2014 14:29

I'm sorry for the parents but if they have made adequate arrangements to care for the child then when found they can demonstrate that to the police. If they haven't made such arrangements hopefully something can be put in place that will satisfy any concerns the parents have about treatment.

OP posts:
phantomnamechanger · 29/08/2014 14:30

I think people need to remember that this family are going through turmoil, they probably aren't thinking straight. No they shouldn't have done it but it really is a situation where you have to walk in someone else's shoes before you judge them

^ I agree with this. I just feel dreadfully sorry for all of them. who knows how our minds are altered and what decisions we would make when faced with hellish circumstances.

thinkingaboutfostering · 29/08/2014 15:45

I think it's horrid of so many on this thread to be judging the parents without the full facts or having walked in the parents shoes.
We don't know what provisions the parents have put in place for their boys care. With regard to the feeding situation not having a working pump is a concern but we don't know for sure that the parents haven't been able to source new batteries and even if they haven't he could presumably be syringe fed anyhow. I work in care and have come across other children who are fed by tube and all can in an emergency or in the event of ill health be fed directly by syringe. Granted it's more time consuming than using the pump but it's not life threatening not to have a working pump.
I don't know the circumstances and I haven't been in the families shoes. I do think if both parents were in agreement that they are acting in what they believe are the child's best interests. I hope wherever they are that the little boy is pain free and that they are happy and wish them all the luck in the world.

LiberalLibertines · 29/08/2014 15:56

God, it's just so heart breaking, what ever is going on I wish them all the best possible outcome possible :(

chopinbabe · 29/08/2014 16:08

Horrid to the parents! What rot. They are grown individuals and they, without any medical experience, have decided to drag their seriously ill child to another country.

They are playing with a child's life or, at the very least exposing him to more risk and pain than they would by leaving him where he was. Misguided is the best that can be said of them.

They have no right to do this.

If a parent converts to being a grand wizard of middle earth and decides that he must sacrifice his first born under an elm tree, is that ok? of course not and, in essentials, nor is this.

if a parent decides that a child should have a diet only of water and pea shoots because anything else is offensive to them and they truly and sincerely believe such a diet is best for the child, is that ok? Of course not and, in essentials, nor is this.

parents and their distress come second to a child's needs.

A child's right to accepted medical care, to protection from pain, trumps how the parents feel.

LiberalLibertines · 29/08/2014 16:18

How do you know they haven't got enough medical expertise Chopin ? Nobody knows if this child was on oral morphine, which they have enough of or what.

I don't know, but I hope he's alright.

chopinbabe · 29/08/2014 16:23

What we all know is that the authorities are so concerned about this child, they have alerted all media to put out the word about their foolish actions. How many times does this happen? Rarely is the answer.

Presumably, if this child wasn't in any danger or they had no feeling of impending doom about the situation, they wouldn't have done this.

On this, I base my belief that the child is in danger. It is the only fact we have.

Icimoi · 29/08/2014 16:26

What if they family getting treatment for pain feeding follow up etc where they took him to b/c not happy with the NHS or the hospital? It's e parents decision to make if they want to get healthcare elsewhere.

Apparently there's no record of anyone of this description trying to access health care in France.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 29/08/2014 16:39

I agree with chopin. Parents are faced with the heartbreaking decision of opting out of further treatment for their terminally ill child all too regularly, as sad as that is. Usually though, that decision will be supported and assisted by the medical staff giving treatment. Very, very rarely does that decision lead to a manhunt and widespread media coverage.

There is certainly much more to this story. I would assume a Court Order of some sort is in place, otherwise I don't quite see how the little boy can have been "taken without consent". Whatever the circumstances, I hope the poor little soul has access to nutrition & adequate pain relief.

phantomnamechanger · 29/08/2014 17:00

I'm glad to see chopin acknowledge that parents are grown ups and should look after their DC and protect them from pain - obviously that would not extend to parents supervising their DC in lifts though. Oh no. We must have lift attendants for that and the council should run courses for toddlers.

Letitsnow9 · 29/08/2014 19:09

I don't understand the focus on the feeding tube, if the pump batteries run out surely the parents can still give bolus fluids/feed. It's like they are using that reason to get the public inboard without having to issue the major issue (what ever that is)

PicandMinx · 29/08/2014 19:25

The child isn't missing. I understand he is with his parents. He wasn't taken "without consent". Parents do not need consent to remove a child from a hospital.

LiberalLibertines · 29/08/2014 19:34

Reminds me of the case where the mother refused chemo for her son, they took her to court, can't actually remember what happened there, but that was highly publicised.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 29/08/2014 19:45

I just hope there's a positive outcome to this sad sad story for everyone concerned especially the little boy.

No one should be criticising the parents unless they have been in their position which thankfully most of us will never be.

It's heartbreaking enough seeing your child suffer but to this extent it must be torture.

Icimoi · 29/08/2014 20:42

He wasn't taken "without consent". Parents do not need consent to remove a child from a hospital.

They do if there's a court order in place.

Tikimon · 29/08/2014 20:51

This reply has been deleted

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FlossyMoo · 29/08/2014 20:56

How can you call dealing with a terminally ill child "issues" in such a nasty way. You have no idea what they are going through and tbh the way you use the word "issues" to describe the emotions of parents with a very sick child is vile.

ColdTeaAgain · 29/08/2014 20:58

Do we know if there is a court order in place? Have a feeling people are making their own assumptions on that.

Cannot begin to imagine what the parents are going through but faced with the facts I have read so far, I do not agree with their decision to remove him from hospital. Even if they have got him to a hospital in another country, it would be near on impossible to get the right complex care fast enough. The little boy needs his family and the doctors and nurses who know him and his exact needs all in the same place. And that was right where he was :(

Original poster
alreadytaken · 29/08/2014 21:00

we don't know if the parents have the ability to feed the child when the batteries run on but they aren't the type of batteries that can be replaced easily. The child is missing from hospital and probably in need of medical care. So it's in his interests to be found.

Don't think anyone should criticise the parents without the full facts.

OP posts:
Tikimon · 29/08/2014 21:03

How can you call dealing with a terminally ill child "issues" in such a nasty way. You have no idea what they are going through and tbh the way you use the word "issues" to describe the emotions of parents with a very sick child is vile.

No. Depriving a child of medical care and putting him through unnecessary pain is vile.

I don't give a shiny shit about an abuser's feelings.

ICanSeeTheSun · 29/08/2014 21:06

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/jan/31/neon-roberts-cancer-treatment-recovering

Liberal he is doing ok.

What goes on in some parents minds, this boy should be in hospital getting the best medical attention not dragged from his bed and made to travel to France on a ferry.

FlossyMoo · 29/08/2014 21:11

I really hope you never go through what this family is going through.

I don't agree with what they have done however having never gone through losing a child I wouldn't even dare to describe their pain as just "issues". We do not know the full details so you cannot categorically say the child is in pain. We don't know if they have adequate pain medication for him. In fact we know very little only what the media tell us.

I just think you are being nasty for the sake of it Tik