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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I had a right to be a bit pissed off here regarding DS's son?

29 replies

Panscrubby · 28/08/2014 16:42

Ok loads of other issues going on between DP and I at the moment but this latest incident has just got me asking is it me or what? Basically this morning we went to shop and bought a pack of 6 bananas. I needed them for cooking. DP knew this.

We got home at 1pm. I've just gone to start my baking to find only two bananas in the bag. I ask DP "where are the bananas??" and he replies "oh DS must have eaten them". What, 4 bananas is the space of 3 hours??? and since DP knew I needed them for cooking for the fuck didn't he stop him?

Now this wouldn't normally work me into a rage but DP is constantly whinging about my son eating all the biscuits, drinking all the pepsi, eating more than his fair share of things yet his son is a million times worse and if I dare mention it I get a backlash of evil stepmother, selfish bitch, control freak, picking arguments - no - I would just have thought that a bag of bananas could survive 3 hours in the kitchen. If it had been my lad, he'd have gone fucking nuts.

Just one more thing in a list of things wrong with this shitty so called relationship.

OP posts:
MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 28/08/2014 16:44

YANBU but be prepared for everyone to tell you that all your worldly bananas must be surrendered to him for he is your DP's son and the messiah.

FunkyBoldRibena · 28/08/2014 16:47

I came home the other week after a very long tiring day to find my OH's daughter had eaten 5 packs of crisps. He'd only bought them the night before.
OH had had the other. Me - never had any. Fucking pigs.

Goldmandra · 28/08/2014 16:49

I guess it depends on the ages of the children and whether your DP knew his son was eating them. If he's a teenager I can well imagine four bananas disappearing in three hours. That is par for the course.

I'd be irritated but then look for a way to improve communication and understanding of the house rules.

My DCs know it isn't OK to help themselves to biscuits or chocolate but the have open access to the fruit bowl 24/7. If I bought food that wasn't fair game for munching I would leave a note on it.

BookABooSue · 28/08/2014 16:49

I feel your pain. In our house it's DP that eats the bananas for baking and I hate it because I tell him they've been bought specially for baking. Angry

However, I'm guessing you'll get flamed and told to buy more bananas, be grateful he left your two, etc, etc.

Goldmandra · 28/08/2014 16:50

I mean if I bought fruit that wasn't fair game I would put a note on it.

dolallymum · 28/08/2014 16:50

YANBU.
Send your DP to the shop for some more.

DoJo · 28/08/2014 16:51

It sounds like the bananas a the tip of the iceberg - are you considering ending your relationship? You don't sound very happy. Thanks

Thumbwitch · 28/08/2014 16:51

Doesn't sound like your "D"P has any respect for you, or teaching his son to have any respect for you either. How old is his DS?

Thumbwitch · 28/08/2014 16:53

And actually, since you wrote this:
"I get a backlash of evil stepmother, selfish bitch, control freak, picking arguments"
are you sure you actually want to stay in a relationship with someone who thinks this about you? :(

coppertop · 28/08/2014 16:53

I'd console myself with the thought that 4 bananas in 3 hours will be playing havoc with his bowels...

Hakluyt · 28/08/2014 16:55

"Oi, sunshine! You've eaten all the bananas a and I was going to make some banana bread! Nip to the shop and buy some more and sharp about it!"

Sorted.

Downamongtherednecks · 28/08/2014 16:55

Putting the bananas to one side (and I agree he was bit of a pig) ... Anyone who calls you a selfish bitch is not someone who is giving a great example to both of the children in the house. This isn't really about bananas, it's about mutual respect for the rules of your home.

ArabellaTarantella · 28/08/2014 16:56

Ok loads of other issues going on between DP and I at the moment but this latest incident has just got me asking is it me or what?

Loads of people have just answered you on your other recent thread. Why are you asking again in another thread?

DiaDuit · 28/08/2014 16:59

Just one more thing in a list of things wrong with this shitty so called relationship.

do I really need to ask the obvious question?

sunbathe · 28/08/2014 16:59

Given your other thread, I wonder if it was your dp who ate them.

Original poster
Panscrubby · 28/08/2014 17:00

My other thread is about my overall relationship. This was just a quick "was I wrong in THIS situation???!" post.

I feel slightly bad because DSS is a lovely lad, he's 17 with the mental age of a 9 year old but it's not HIM I'm pissed off with. It's DP who KNEW I needed those bananas but refused to stop his son eating them. Now this lad is not stupid nor is he badly behaved. All it would take is a "hey DSS, I've bought these bananas, you can have one if you like but could you save the rest as I need them for baking?" and he'd gladly do it. But no, because it's me that needs the bananas DP just let him eat them all.

DSS is lovely and this is not his fault. DP on the other hand is the king of arseholes.

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 28/08/2014 17:04

Can I ask what you were going to make, Panscrubby? I am guessing banana loaf or banoffee pie - which presumably your dh and dss would have enjoyed. If this is the case, then he and his son will have to bear the consequences - the no cake/dessert consequences!

I wouldn't be baking any substitute cakes/desserts, and when they want to know why there is no delicious home baked treat for them, you can just calmly point out that there would have been, if dss hadn't eaten all the bananas!

StrangeGlue · 28/08/2014 17:05

Haven't read your other thread but in the context of your update: yanbu, dss sounds nice, dp sounds horrid!

DiaDuit · 28/08/2014 17:05

ok if we are ignoring the relationship being shit in general.

did you say to DP or assume he would tell DSS not to eat the bananas? it sounds like he wasn't aware DSS had eaten them til you asked where they were so not so much that he refused to stop him eating them (as in knew he was and didn't stop him) but rather he just never thought to say to him not to eat them, which to be fair, you didn't either. also at 17, they eat shitloads. I'd have bought two bags of bananas and put the baking ones somewhere no-one would go for bananas/food.

mommy2ash · 28/08/2014 17:13

kids eat a lot. my dd always asks can she take anything and I'm forever telling her other than chocolate she can help herself.

this isn't about bananas at all. In a good relationship this wouldn't matter

Bifauxnen · 28/08/2014 17:13

Make something delicious with the leftover bananas and refuse to share any.

Thumbwitch · 28/08/2014 17:15

Your "D"P is a wanker. I have no doubt that he saw his son eating banana and either ate some too or thought "Pan is going to kick off about this, well we'll see who wins that one!"

I do feel very sorry for his son (and other children) though :(

BorisBaby · 28/08/2014 17:45

I used to eat all the bananas when I lived at home I now buy bananas for the family and hide some just for me I wonder if my mum ever hid any from me

NickiFury · 28/08/2014 17:49

It's bananas. Go and buy some more. Sorry but I just can't get worked up about it.

And if my DP bitched about what MY child was eating in the way you describe he'd be out on his arse.

Viviennemary · 28/08/2014 17:50

I agree it isn't just about banans. In a good relationship it would be a minor irritation and somebody would goto the shops for more bananas. But it's a build up of resentment that makes these incidents the last straw. I knew somebody who nearly left her DH because he cooked something with an onion that she was planning to use.