to be shocked and scandalised that this went on unchecked for so long? [MN edit; contains details of current Rotherham news story, possibly triggering]

[ReputableBiscuit]

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-28939089

I really don't think it's "more of an insult to Islam to protest against it". There's a very big issue with fear of "insulting" men and [their abuses of] male privilege. This is almost as endemic in our own culture as in more oppressive ones.

Sexual violence against children is shockingly widespread - yet how many Mumsnetters have seriously suspected a friend or family member of it? What's your instant reaction if you think of it? And what would your friends most likely say? Take it a little further from home, and think about the lads' trips to Thailand, as mentioned by capant. Presumably you've seen what happens on here when posters suggest sleazy motives.

Well the report does highlight some of the difficulties some parents had

"5.9 In two of the cases we read, fathers tracked down their daughters and tried to remove them from houses where they were being abused, only to be arrested themselves when police were called to the scene. In a small number of cases (which have already received media attention) the victims were arrested for offences such as breach of the peace or being drunk and disorderly, with no action taken against the perpetrators of rape and sexual assault against children."

NNeoma - In some cases, parents who tried to rescue their children from abusers were themselves arrested. Police officers even dismissed the rape of children by saying that sex had been consensual.
It's in all the news articles, with more detail.

Chipstick - Tom Watson has spent the past week or so spreading love and kindness I guess even warriors for social justice need to recharge their spiritual batteries! I'd say 'bless him', but that might sound a bit blasphemous in context ...

Yes garlic but what drove the children to the abusers? What were the circumstances at home that gave rise to this situation? I am trying to understand. I know we like to focus attention on the perpetrators which is right but I think we should also be looking at the victims as well to understand circumstances that has led them to these horrible monsters.

In this particular type of operation, Nneoma, they are lured. Often a younger gang member, just a few years older than the girl, will chat her up as she comes out of school. They drive tarted-up cars, give the girls presents ranging from happy meals to ipads, treat them like they're special and tell them they're sexy. They share alcohol & drugs with them. More often than not, other girls their age will actually be jealous of them.

There's also a massive problem with the move towards children's homes that are just 3-bed terraced houses, run by outsourced services like G4S. Children staying in such homes are often home educated there, and the full-time staff comprises 6 adults for just one or two children. There's no-one to report the kids missing if the staff don't, and the staff often don't even if they know where the child is and what's happening to them. Some children have said they saw the staff entertaining gang members with drinks.

Some other children have overstressed parents who aren't coping. Some have conscientious parents who believe their kids are at after-school clubs or shopping with friends.

It's not too hard :(

Sorry, haven't RTFT.

When this happened when I was at school, on a much lower scale, it didn't take very much beyond a natural desire to appear and act older. Girls were picked up in cars, bought takeaways and alcohol and weed and they thought their older boyfriends were cool because they had a skanky bedsit their own place. It didn't take much to persuade them into sex with multiple partners. They were basically told thats what older girls do, so don't be a baby. There was a real fear of falling into a lemonade at the school disco after that. I don't know any girls who were physically threatened and afaik it wasn't on anywhere near the same scale but these weren't 'troubled kids'. They were nice m/c kids at private school.

Two thirds of missing UK children are not reported. About 140,000 children go missing each year. There's no accurate data because there's no coherent data collection - this is being addressed, but very slowly And if responsible adults don't report them missing, how can their data be collated?

I see. The children in care is understandable and truly heart breaking. As for tHe stressed/conscientious parents, I am struggling with that one.

More often than not, other girls their age will actually be jealous of them

I know I was. I was spending my Saturday nights watching casualty with my mum, then going back to school on Monday morning and hearing about the awesome house parties.

surely this
it didn't take very much beyond a natural desire to appear and act older. Girls were picked up in cars, bought takeaways and alcohol and weed and they thought their older boyfriends were cool because they had a skanky bedsit their own place
answers your question Nneoma?

Garlic - IIRC, the children who do go missing are often those on the margins of society, lots of Looked After children and those seeking asylum.

I feel like this is just the tip of a very sinister problem.

YY, MrS. The boyfriends show the girls YouTube videos of older teenage girls being painfully gang-banged, and tell them it's what all the cool girlfriends do.

There's even been mainstream coverage of this in a 'normal' teenage relationship context - both boys and girls are now taking it for granted that sex hurts women

I feel like this is just the tip of a very sinister problem.

It most definitely is.

these men just had to pick the right targets and then it was pretty much a case of candy from a baby, they've had lots of practise honing their skills, identifying and stalking the right prey the best victims, then slowly turn up the heat.
Its sickening, the girls are treated like pieces of equipment to be claimed used and rented out by the men

Suzanne surely this
it didn't take very much beyond a natural desire to appear and act older. Girls were picked up in cars, bought takeaways and alcohol and weed and they thought their older boyfriends were cool because they had a skanky bedsit their own place
answers your question Nneoma?

No not really.

MrS More often than not, other girls their age will actually be jealous of them

I know I was. I was spending my Saturday nights watching casualty with my mum, then going back to school on Monday morning and hearing about the awesome house parties.

Why did you not join the other girls MrS? was it because your parents were less stressed or maybe too strict?

I think maybe the police should start thinking about carrying out strong campaigns/Ads aimed at parents asking do you know where your children are? Do you know who they are sleeping with?... that sort of thing.

such as I have seen to help combat drink driving, violent abuse in teenage relationships (I saw one a while ago I thought was really powerful) and leaving valuables in cars.

Nneoma are you fuckng serious?

What drove the children to the a users?

It's it's that kind of victim and family blaming that got these poor kids in to this fuckng mess!

Nneoma Two fathers of girls being abused tried to get their daughters out of the houses they were being abused in and THEY were arrested and the girls were left with the abusers.

Considering what youve posted upthread i would love to hear your take on this.

Nneoma, I think the police should stop turning 2 blind eyes and 2 deaf ears to CSA more like, they let these men get away scott free, have you not read the thread, not heard of all the incidents when the police failed to act even when presented with undeniable evidence.

Things aren't always that simple, Nneomama. I was at the house parties so envied by MrSheen but, while I consumed absurd quantities of drink & drugs, didn't become sexually active. I always found one or two slightly older guests to look after me ... and I probably had an instinct for them because my father was abusive; perhaps I picked up signals from those with a hidden agenda to hurt. I was out a lot because home was awful, but there was nothing neglectful or marginal about it. I actually don't know why the glamorous party hosts kept me around: could I have been a decoy, I wonder.

I didn't realise other girls were being abused. I thought they were more together than me.

It sounds like you have no idea how pervasive the sexual abuse of children is, nor how malicious. I did know, even at 15. For a long time I didn't know what I was looking at when I saw it, but I was young. I wised up.

"many of the parents either didn't care......"

Are you sure about that? I mean really sure? Because I bet ALL parents would have cared if they knew their children were being gang raped.

WTF? Do posters actually believe this shit they are posting?