to be annoyed with friend for pretending to be poor

[cobpol]

Hi,

Over the years a certain friend has constantly been poor, so they have sat out many group things and bought less rounds in the pub.

I found out yesterday that the reason he is poor is because he allways saved the lions share of his sallery and was actually well off. He bought a house outright at 30 and now is still just as poor as he only works two days a week.

Aibu to think he lied all these years about being poor?

JADS - they sound really tedious!

Sorry, just to add. Don't get me wrong, I'm a saver. My parents are careful with money. There is an extra dimension to this type of behaviour which is really hard to put your finger on.

Branching out Yes, tedious is a great description. Their behaviour is really wearing. There is so much subtext as well to it. Sometimes, I would just wish they would come and admit that they are tight and selfish. If they were generous in other ways, it would be forgivable, but they aren't.

Thank you for this thread op. It's been cathartic for me at least.

I would feel the same way as you, cobpol so YANBU.

Unfortunately there are some people who are genuinely as tight as a duck's sphincter. It is admirable to be a saver, to be responsible enough to save money for a house etc, but it's a different matter going on a night out eating a lettuce leaf and a small glass of water. Why not just stay at home? It just feels like the person isn't getting into the spirit of the evening, and it's quite off-putting.

Frugality is fine. Admirable, even.

Not paying your share on social occasions, and expecting others to pay for you is most definitely not fine. I would not put up with this sort of behaviour, and would confront the person about it.

I'm surprised that this person is male. In my experience, most blokes have a pretty low tolerance for this sort of thing, and a 'mate' who behaved like this wouldn't remain a mate for long.