To think our daughter should finish with her boyfriend?

[blueyonder1]

Our 19 year old daughter has been going out with her boyfriend for coming up a year now. We and various friends and relatives cannot see what she sees in him and think she is far too good for him. He's extremely scruffy, says little (even to her friends who are the same age group) and has no enthusiasm for anything. She's an intelligent uni student and over the past year we have noticed a real change in her- she seems to have lost her sense of humour and doesn't seem to bother what she looks like anymore.
We have gone along with it for this long hoping she would see the light, we are very wary of driving a wedge between her and us. Any advice? Thanks

My sister had a boyfriend at the same age who my parents hated he didn't have a job he wanted to be an actor so considered working beneath him y sistercwent out with him for about three years also as he lived about twenty miles away and neither of them drove he stayed at our house a lot ,she eventually finished with him.

She's 19. Having a boyfriend that your parents disapprove of is a positive rite of passage! The more you object to him, the more desirable an object of affection he'll become.

My 21 year old came out a relationship last year with most abusive twat. She was with him for 3 years. DH and I hated him, really hated him. But we never let on to her, we even let him stay over when she still lived at home. We just kept hoping she would see him for how he really was. Thankfully after he had pushed her to far last year she finally saw him for how he was and they split up. We were then able to tell her what we really thought of him and how abusive he was. It's hell watching them in a relationship with someone who is so horrible, but you have to be patient. Although honestly if the worst things about him is that he's scruffy, smells a bit and is quiet then he doesn't sound that bad, it could be worse.

OP, start asking them about plans for a wedding. Start hinting at baby names and talking about hats. There's nothing more certain to have the lad running for the hills.

She has never introduced him to any of our friends and family although they do spend a fair amount of time at our house- they always manage to be out of the house when we have people round

Call me a nit picker but if this is the case then how can it be that:

We and various friends and relatives cannot see what she sees in him and think she is far too good for him

At 19 I'm pretty sure I didn't want to hang out and introduce my bf to my mums friends or the extended family!

The former being her friends and immediate family - her older sisters and partners who don't live at home. The latter our friends and other family - my cousins and aunts who are weekly visitors to our house. Sorry for the confusion hope that makes it clearer!

Former being various friends and relatives that I referred to in my initial post.

At a similar age my sister had a boyfriend who no-one in the family liked. He would not turn up for dates or turn up at 10 o'clock etc and about four years into the relationship my parents told her they didn't think he was good for her. She bristled and said he was the love of her life so parents said fine it's your life and never said another word. They were always polite to him and about six months later my sister saw the light and dumped him. He sat in his car outside the house all night crying his eyes out - too little too late. Mind you the man she married wasn't much better, he was a cheater and she left him aged 60.

My DD1 (18) has a boyfriend we are not very keen on. He is tall blond and handsome but seems to have zero personality. He hardly says a word when he's round our house. Okay, he may be shy but two words in six months?

But the worst thing is that he adores DD, has a decently paid job as a tradesman and really wants to get a place to live with her. DD has just got some great A levels and is planning to go to University next year after doing her Art foundation. I really want her to have that experience and I'm scared she'll throw it away for a little flat and a baby with a kind, pretty boy.

I thought my dd would do that tinkly not the baby she hates babies, anyway I was talking to her if she ever wanted to move away for work or whatever she said well he could either stay or go with her as there is no way she would stop what she wanted to do because he didn't want tom so that was a sigh of relief I dont want to derail the thread but he is a home body all his family live within walking distance of each other and I think his mother expect s him to do the same dd isnt into that at all

MrsJayy. Pretty boy's sister is a single Mum who misses her clubbing. They spend a lot of time at her flat playing house with babysitting her apparently adorable toddler. And Pretty boy's Mum loves DD and thinks he should hang on to her.

to be honest if it was me from the op I'd be worried about drugs

What on earth makes you think ^^ tobysmum?.

What a strange conclusion to come to

Babysitting is one thing though