AIBU To think that having kids actually isn't that stressful/tiring?

[Nicklt1988]

There may well be a back lash to this.

We have one DD (6 y/o) - and I can honestly say I have never really felt stressed/tired since she was born.

Me and my wife do the same level of caring, neither of us does anymore or less than the other and we split domestic stuff pretty evenly.

Maybe we have been lucky, but then again I don't think we have. When DW became pregnant neither of use worked and we had no where to live, so not not a stressful situation - over those 6 years we have worked hard and have a pretty good life etc.

Maybe it's has just been different for us compared to most - just that probably 80-90% of friends or people I speak to who have children (be it 1 or more) comment about how stressful it is and tiring.

I'm naturally quite a calm and laid back person so maybe that helps somewhat, my DW is different she can get very stressed over thing (not over DD though) and she has said she has never really felt stressed of tired from DD (apart from maybe the first 1-2 months from when she was born).

Does anyone else not find having kids stressful - or does anyone think I'm crazy to think it's not.

[insanityscratching]

My dd is 21 now and has always been easy, slept through from three weeks, only ever had one tantrum (where she stamped her foot just the once), found school easy, was an easy teen and now at twenty one she's still a delight.
Thankfully she is my third child and so had learned enough from my two boys to keep my mouth shut so as not to look like a prat by extolling how easy parenting was based on parenting dd. It's a pity you didn't have the same

[Foxy800]

I think the op is very lucky but is also being a bit smug.. I am a single mum to a lovely young girl who has ADHD and learning difficulties. I get very little help from her Dad or his family, they do help if I ask but it is 99% of the time just me. I have a couple of friends who are very helpful and supportive but it does get stressful with arranging appointments and childcare etc.
At the end of the day every families situation is different but I really find it hard to believe noone finds it hardwork or stressful or even tiring at some point.

[Lucylouby]

I thought parenting one laid back child was reasonably easy. Then we had ds and then dd. parenting more than one child is so different to a parenting an only child. So yes your life is easy compared to mine, lucky you. I wouldn't swop my hectic, tired and stressful life for yours though.
Never judge anyone till you have walked a mile in their shoes...

[FruitbatAuntie]

You know what, OP, I used to feel a little like you do, back when I only had the one child. He was, I now see, an angelic baby and toddler. I did realise though that I was very lucky and that others really did have a much harder time.

I can tell you that after my second child arrived, I experienced (and still am experiencing) the sheer dead tired exhaustion that comes with being sole carer of two very lively children. Add in what seems to be a two year long (and counting!) cluster feed, waking 6+ times a night, never getting more than 2 hrs sleep in one go, reflux.... and I have two very well behaved kids with no special needs and I don't work currently.

I honestly don't know how some others cope. Yes, its not 'difficult' intellectually per se. But it's a bloody hard slog some days!

[Foxy800]

Forgot to add to my post wouldnt change my lovely daughter for the world.

[fairnotfair]

Sometimes, I wonder if people post provocatively on MN purely so they can run away mewing, "You see, I was right and so is the DM those MNetters are horrid. So aggressive!".

[SaltySeaBird]

Oh dear.

My and DH are pretty laid back and easy going. We have one two year old DD. We both work, him full time, me three days a week. We split the housework, childcare, bills etc pretty much exactly 50/50 so a very even relationship.

Some days it's easy and stress free. DD is pretty easy going and laid back most of the time. We've travelled quite a bit with her and people often have said I'm lucky to have such a well behaved and chilled out toddler.

Then she goes through a day where she turns herself inside out with tantrums. She wants a banana but what was I thinking - I peeled it. She wants bread but how dare I but butter on it. Oh my goodness I'm so unreasonable as I won't let her sit in the drivers seat of the car - don't I know that's the fun seat. On days like this is it stressful and hard work.

I don't think you can ever say life is 100% not stressful or easy. We've got it much, much easier than a lot of people but some days I still feel like leaving her in the supermarket having a tantrum and going home without her and I know I got lucky with a pretty easy child.

[Pishedorf]

longdistance 'palmed off into childcare' what a horrible thing to say.

[BreadForBrains]

Wow!
Fwiw OP (even though you've long gone!)
I don't find it stressful or tiring either, and I've got 3!
Well, obviously there are stresses at various points, one gets travel sick, one is a bit feral and one eats playdoh, but generally dp and I are quite laid back and unfazed by lots of it!
They are 10,8 and 2 and they get on well. They've been at the table for an hour playing playdoh and I've been able to get on.
I am a SAHM and love my life
Not trying to irritate anyone here, though sometimes it seems as though you aren't 'allowed' to post anything on here unless you're on the bones of your arse and crying for help.
The OP was a bit weird though...

[superstarheartbreaker]

All these people saying tgat ine child is easy! I have 1 dd and it is fecking hard.
Just popped to Tescos to do some shopping and all I heard was mummy I want...mummy mummy mummy muuuuumy I want I want I waaaaaaaant!
Shes very high maintenance and this happens every single time we go near a shop.must be sonething im doing wrong. I cant do the grocery shop alone as im single.
6 is way harder than 4 ans she wont go uostaors on her own so I have to go to the loo with her. On holiday she came to the loo with me too...I cant even have a pee in peace!

[superstarheartbreaker]

Sorry typos.

[Fairywhitebear]

Because one child is easy??!!

So frankly, that's fine that you haven't been stressed or tired!

superstar I can promise you, if you added a second (or third/fourth) child into the mix, you would realise that having one is easy. However high maintenance no1 is. Imagine two kids like that!

[Kim82]

When I had my first child I used to think the same - that it was easy, I wasn't tired as I could sleep when the baby slept and I wasn't stressed at all as he was such a chilled and laid back baby and very rarely cried. Fast forward 3 years to when baby number 2 arrived, she had silent reflux and was lactose intolerant, she screamed night and day for 6 months, nothing soothed her, I had to find time to spend with my first born and there was bookkeeping when the baby slept! I was shattered, stressed and felt guilty as I couldn't spend as much time with my firstborn. Fast forward another 10 years I now have 4 children (youngest is 5 weeks), I'm practically a zombie through sleep deprivation, the house looks like a bomb site for around 22 hours a day and its super stressful trying to entertain 4 children of differing ages whilst making sure they're fed, watered, clean and happy. Add in a full time job (when not on mat leave), juggling the school run, nursery drop offs, after school clubs and no help in the form of cleaners, etc and I can safely say my life gets a bit stressful. I wouldn't have it any other way though.

Come back to us a few more children down the line and tell us that you're not stressed and tired...

[superstarheartbreaker]

That is exactly why I am sticking with 1. I am not a natural earth mother type and I want to enjoy my life. If I had a dp maybe 1 would have been a doddle but doing Iit alone is emotionally tough, partly due to the low social status of single mums

[Kim82]

• no sleeping not book keeping - stupid tablet with its autocorrect!

[MissPricklePants]

I am a single parent of one 5 yo dd. She is amazing but she sleeps approx 4 hours per 24, she is awaiting a SEN assessment as she is hyper and in her own world. She has some sensory issues. She also has problems with her hips/feet which has affected her knees so I now have to travel to a hospital in another city (which takes nearly 3 hours each way as I can't afford a car so public transport) to her appointments to determine whether she needs surgery. Oh and I work too (school hours so no childcare) and I'm doing a course to enable a promotion. Ex sees dd twice a month and doesn't do overnights. DD is currently bouncing on the trampoline whilst I make lunch and type this. OP YABU to say parenting is easy and to all the other posters saying one child is easy YABU!! I find it easier looking after my 3 nephews who are all 3 and under than my 1 DD.

[confusedgirlfromtheShire]

Even one child has been stressful and tiring for me because.... i) I had untreated PTSD and PND for the first few months ii) DS did not sleep through until he was 21 months old iii) I have moderate, untreatable Chronic Fatigue Syndrome with unpredictable flare-ups iv) I still have had to go to work PT with a four hour daily commute as the main breadwinner, in order to hold the family together.

Now, DS is nearly 4 a joy but it is still tiring, because I don't/won't put him in front of the TV all day. Also he is so clever and curious that the questions come like bullets and his need for interaction NEVER stops. Like an average "teacher" I am tired at the end of the day. Occasionally a little stressed because he doesn't listen to me sometimes, but mainly just tired.

And here's a cheeky addition, because this was a cheeky thread to start - maybe you haven't found your child demanding/stressful/tiring because they're just not that bright, or you're lazy in terms of the quality of your interactions with them?....

[MissPricklePants]

Oh I forgot to add, I suffer massively with depression and although I'm on medication I still have periods where I can't cope well and that makes parenting all the harder, I don't want dd to see that so I have to bottle it all up and then cry in the shower!

[ScarlettDarling]

Id say you are pretty lucky, op.
I have 2 children, both really good kids, no special needs or health problems, and yet I still find parenting tiring and stressful. For me its the simple fact that I love them so much. I worry lots about things happening to them, hurting them, upsetting them...and that stresses me out hugely!
But different people have different ways of handling situations, sounds like you May be less of a worrier than most other parents!

[zukiecat]

I had three DC under 3 and I have never found it stressful or tiring, now aged 23, 21 and 20 they have never given me a moment's worry, youngest child has some additonal needs and I've been at home with them since my eldest DD was born, plenty of other, serious problems but none involving the DC.

YANBU but everyone's circumstances are different.

[elliejjtiny]

YABU.

I have 5 DC, eldest is 8. 2 are babies, one of them had major surgery 6 days ago. I get woken up about 4-5 times a night on average. 3 of my DC have SN, 2 severely. My youngest nearly died at birth. I have PTSD and PND. My DH is ill so I have to do most things. I'm desperate to leave the house and go somewhere that isn't the dr surgery or hospital but going somewhere with 5 DC, a double buggy and a wheelchair is so scary, mostly I don't bother.

So yes, I find parenting tiring and stressful!

[MrsMarcJacobs]

wow OP. I assume you are trying to start a bun fight so won't respond with what I'm really thinking.

[ShadowStar]

Agree that it depends hugely on what kind of child you get. Some are an awful lot easier to deal with than others.

Sounds like OP has been lucky enough to be blessed with a little angel.

But, even so - never stressed or tired? Not even once? Not even when your DD was a new born requiring frequent feeds? Not when she was ill? Not when she had her heart set on something you couldn't or wouldn't give her?

You're definitely lucky if you've truly never felt stressed or tired since she was born.

[thornrose]

Not trying to irritate anyone here, though sometimes it seems as though you aren't 'allowed' to post anything on here unless you're on the bones of your arse and crying for help.

I love a happy thread, I don't mind a stealth boast or even a boast, boast. This thread just had all the hallmarks of a goader! and he ran away very early on leaving us to it

[maninawomansworld]

Lots of very bitter / jealous people here folks. Just because someone is having a good time of being a parent doesn't mean they need flaming. Why the hell can't you all just be pleased for them?
As a relatively new parent (18 mo) I love hearing that someone is having an easy ride as it gives me hope that the next few years will be similarly blissful for me.

Green eyed monsters galore!