AIBU To think that having kids actually isn't that stressful/tiring?

[Nicklt1988]

There may well be a back lash to this.

We have one DD (6 y/o) - and I can honestly say I have never really felt stressed/tired since she was born.

Me and my wife do the same level of caring, neither of us does anymore or less than the other and we split domestic stuff pretty evenly.

Maybe we have been lucky, but then again I don't think we have. When DW became pregnant neither of use worked and we had no where to live, so not not a stressful situation - over those 6 years we have worked hard and have a pretty good life etc.

Maybe it's has just been different for us compared to most - just that probably 80-90% of friends or people I speak to who have children (be it 1 or more) comment about how stressful it is and tiring.

I'm naturally quite a calm and laid back person so maybe that helps somewhat, my DW is different she can get very stressed over thing (not over DD though) and she has said she has never really felt stressed of tired from DD (apart from maybe the first 1-2 months from when she was born).

Does anyone else not find having kids stressful - or does anyone think I'm crazy to think it's not.

[PacificDogwood]

You keep bleating saying "I'm just asking a question" but I am a bit unclear about what the 'question' is:
AIBU to state that I found parenthood easy so far? - No, NU at all.
AIBU to tell you lot that you must doing something wrong/moaning if you found parenthood hard? - Yes, YUBA (but you know that)

Enjoy your DD.
And hope and pray that she never changes.

Wanna swap her for 4 boys?

[WorraLiberty]

You're not unreasonable OP but you do come across as a bit stupid/closed minded.

If as an adult you don't understand that everyone else's lives and families are different to yours, well there's nothing left to say really.

[Fabulous46]

We had a very easy baby, toddler and child.......until she reached 14 ??. Nope it wasn't tiring at all in the early years, she slept every 4 hours and went through the night from 3 months. She was not a fussy child and ate everything I put down in front of her. She also excelled at school. A more loving perfect child you couldn't meet.

I hope you adore the teenage years OP. I used to look at people and wonder "why are they so stressed?" Now I bloody know! I can't remember the last time I had a decent nights sleep and she's 19 now! ??. It's been a LONG 5 years! Sending gloating karma your way OP??

[CromerSutra]

Well, I have 1 dd and the small baby part was truly horrendous for me having Pnd and being a single parent. The toddler bit was lovely but exhausting, the last few years have been pretty great besides periods of ill health, stresses of work/school etc.

My dd is very, very placid and easy. I admit that it is, by and large, not exhausting for us but I know it would be if we had more kids or if Dd had a more demanding personality.

[maras2]

Perhaps you'd get a huggier response from you know where hun.They love this kind of stuff babes.x

[CromerSutra]

And I am fully braced for her to rebel in a big way through her teens!!!

[LiverpoolLou]

I find the biggest factor in how tired I am being a parent to DS is the quality of my sleep. I suffered horrendous SPD because apparantly it can be much worse when you're older. DS is now 16 months and I'm still struggling, despite hours and hours of physiotherapy. Not only does it mean I don't sleep well but it affects my daily mobility and ability to keep up with DS.

How was it for you OP, were you lucky enough to recover quickly from the birth? No lingering health issues?

[PacificDogwood]

Oh, and mind are not at all tiring just now - little angels, they are, when asleep

[cariboo]

Is this a joke?

[TheFairyCaravan]

Liverpool You've got my sympathies. I've had 5 major pelvic surgeries due to SPD. DS2 is almost 18, I can't walk unaided. I'm bloody knackered because I don't sleep despite hefty meds!

But hey, this parenting lark is a piece of piss when you've seen every hour through the bloody night!

[LiverpoolLou]

Yikes, 5 major surgeries? Thankfully I don't think I'm that bad. I feel like it is getting better, just very, very slowly. We bought a new bed and tempur mattress a few weeks ago. That has made a huge difference.

It came as a huge shock to me as I'd never heard of SPD before. 20 years ago when I had DD I sailed through the pregnancy. Thought nothing of walking the 5 miles to midwife's appointments right up till the end. This time round I couldn't even walk to the bathroom unaided.

[PecanNut]

@LRD

Wonder what the OP's wife would add to this thread.

[SomethingVicardThisWayComes]

AIBU to ask the OP to come back in about 12 years and tell us how he got on through the teenage years?

go on op....

ive got 2. boy with AS at 22, NT girl of 17. both were really easy until they hit the kevin and perry stage.
that lasts about 4 years just so you know.....id love you to come back when your lovely easy dd is about 16 and let us know how you feel then.

[thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter]

Ok OP congrats.

[arethereanyleftatall]

I'm with you op. It's easy for me too. However, for those with children with sen, it's a different matter entirely.

[WorraLiberty]

Even for those without children who have SEN in can be a different matter entirely

NEWSFLASH

All kids and parents are different

Who'da thunk it?

[arethereanyleftatall]

Perhaps. We're all sharing our own experiences. For me, a 3 and a 5 ye old to look after, no stress whatsoever.

[306235388]

Some kids are just easy. Dd was piss easy between 0-2 and Ds between 2-6 so I imagine some parents get one kid who is permanently easy.

However you've also been incredibly lucky to never had illness or money worries of childcare stressed during that time.

My kids are pretty healthy overall but we've still had pneumonia, asthma, constant ear infections, sever jaundice, leg problems etc between them and that's all been pretty stressful! Not to mention the usual nights of no sleep becauSe they're vomiting or coughing or have had a bad dream.

Yanbu to think you've found it easy. Yabu to think that your experience is the same as everyone else's .

[306235388]

But arethey haven't you ever been stressed when they were ill? Or didn't settle at nursery? Or we're having trouble learning something? Weren't you ever tired because they'd had chickenpox between them for 2 weeks straight or because you'd nursed them through a bug only for you to get it as they're bouncing around again.

I'm not saying it's stressful all the time but I find it a bit weird that it's never stressful.

[arethereanyleftatall]

Yes, illness has been stressful. That's a tiny portion if the time though, thankfully. Mostly, it's fine.

[SurfBoredCat]

I think you know you're being unreasonable.
You have one school age child and you and your wife work full time. That means you only spend evenings and weekends together, with a ratio of 2 adults to 1 child.
I'd find that a piece of piss too.
Throw in less hours at work (less money/more time with the child); a couple of preschoolers/teenagers; add some SN; have a partner who works overseas for months at a time or no partner at all; health problems; debt; no family; relocation to another country. . . The list just goes on . . . Then you might not be quite as smug.

[HolyQuadrityDrinkFeckArseGirls]

I have one child and I fond it very stressful. I work 3 days and if I worked 5 it would have been a walk in the park. I find the constant talking mind numbing and the fact that I constantly have to be doing something something. The housework gets me most, the constant washing, cooking, tidying up.

Since both if you work, you won't create any mess during the day. Also someone else must be taking care of your DD after school. Are they stressed?

[HolyQuadrityDrinkFeckArseGirls]

Also when your DD was at the nursery and was ill, who would have to leave work to pick her up, OP? You or your wife? Did that person find the impact on work of it stressful?

[Monica101]

Very much depends on the child, some are very easy. Some very difficult. Nothing to do with parenting style just the luck of the draw. Many parents don't seem to acknowledge this unless they've had one easy one and one little devil.