AIBU To think that having kids actually isn't that stressful/tiring?

[Nicklt1988]

There may well be a back lash to this.

We have one DD (6 y/o) - and I can honestly say I have never really felt stressed/tired since she was born.

Me and my wife do the same level of caring, neither of us does anymore or less than the other and we split domestic stuff pretty evenly.

Maybe we have been lucky, but then again I don't think we have. When DW became pregnant neither of use worked and we had no where to live, so not not a stressful situation - over those 6 years we have worked hard and have a pretty good life etc.

Maybe it's has just been different for us compared to most - just that probably 80-90% of friends or people I speak to who have children (be it 1 or more) comment about how stressful it is and tiring.

I'm naturally quite a calm and laid back person so maybe that helps somewhat, my DW is different she can get very stressed over thing (not over DD though) and she has said she has never really felt stressed of tired from DD (apart from maybe the first 1-2 months from when she was born).

Does anyone else not find having kids stressful - or does anyone think I'm crazy to think it's not.

[Iggi999]

Oops, I left out "healthy" and "having no additional support needs" from my list.
If I were having the same experience as the OP, I could never post about it for fear of some karmic retribution!

[MrsBungle]

I have to chuckle! I used to have one child. She was very well behaved, slept well. I didn't understand the fuss. I'll admit I found it easy. Then ds came along and he was not so easy and the smugness left me instantly now I'm bloody knackered!

[saintlyjimjams]

I have 3.

First year was a piece of piss, then ds1 regressed, became severely autistic and life became a whole lot more challenging. And then some. As he approaches adulthood I can't say it's any easier.

DS2 (NT) is dead easy, always has been. DS3 (NT) was born stubborn, opinionated and hard work.

I look back and think how easy my parents had it (I'm only child and was on the whole well behaved and pretty compliant). I tell my mother that, and she agrees.

Some parenting experiences are easy, some a whole lot harder. It's not a competition and if you're patting yourself on the back about your wonderful parenting being the key I'd stop (I was pretty smug for the first year of being a parent - it's staying calm and laid back when you don't have one easy child that deserves a round of applause).

[Only1scoop]

To be honest finding it easier than we thought it would be. Dd is now 4. Dp works away 50 percent of the time now but had he have done when she was tiny I'd have found that a huge struggle.

Easier because there are two of us as there are you.

I imagine life as a lone parent must be far far more tiring and tough.

[AndyWarholsOrange]

I don't get the point of this thread either. If I'd read it when I was battling with a constantly tantrum ing toddler and a baby who screamed solidly for 5 hours every evening with colic until she was six months old and there was only a three hour period in a day when they both slept, I'd have wanted to punch you.
Only having one child means that you don't have to cope with sibling rivalry or incessant bickering.
Last week, the older two stayed with my parents so we only had DS2 to deal with which felt like a walk in the park.
You sound insufferably smug TBH.

[5toocoolforschool]

I think its easy to explain,you have ONE DD.If i only had one dd i would think it was easy too.

I think your either stupid of have come here to start something,because surely its obvious that its just different for everyone?I find babies really easy,its when they get older i find hard,someone else will say the opposite,it all depends on circumstances and personality.

[queenofthemountain]

You have ONE child and a 6 yo at that and you don't find it tiring.I should bloody hope not!!

[deakymom]

meh thanks for making people feel inadequate personally when i had one i found it okay not a walk in the park but dealable yes i was a single parent (and i do find that easier my husband gets under my feet unless he is working) yes my daughter was ill and needed regular checks yes i looked after my nan but i still found it easier than now dealing with three kids and a husband (who has decided he is going to die and no one knows how bad he feels etc etc)

i didn't come onto a site to brag about it

i went out of my way to help my friends who were struggling and they in turn helped me when i needed help

YABU you sound smug and up for a fight

HTH

[MissBeans]

YABVU. You have one child. Having 2 or more children is a whole different ball game. I take it your wife didn't exclusively breastfeed?

I had 2 dc in close succession & it can be fucking exhausting!

[MissBeans]

YABVU. You have one child. Having 2 or more children is a whole different ball game. I take it your wife didn't exclusively breastfeed?

I had 2 dc in close succession & it can be fucking exhausting!

[PacificDogwood]

Yy to 'it's not a competition'. It's not.

[Mellowdramatically]

My xh used to be very laid back.

It's because he didn't notice all the jobs that needed doing.

He thought he did his full share.

[Nanny0gg]

Very much depends on the child, some are very easy. Some very difficult. Nothing to do with parenting style just the luck of the draw. Many parents don't seem to acknowledge this unless they've had one easy one and one little devil.

^^This.

Should be engraved on a plaque and given to every parent after they've given birth.

(Took me years to realise).

[FunkyBoldRibena]

Ha ha - nice one OP.

I am not a parent, a step parent though.

Your title is 'am I being unreasonable to think that having kids isn't that stressful'.

Goady, judgmental, and rude. And then you tell us you are not even a mother but a father whose wife did actually find it stressful. Probably because you spend half your time on the internet goading other people and being judgmental about stuff.

If it is not stressful why stop at 1?

Has this thread been more stress than you can take OP?

[Cernabbas]

I see OP has run away now, but wonder if they have any parent friends in real life. And if so do they agree with them. I only ask as a friend of mine says she finds it really hard bonding with other parents because she has "found parenting a breeze" as her DS is "so easy".

[Nanny0gg]

WOW - I'm abandoning this post, after what 10 minutes

And do people that do this piss anyone else off or is it just me?

[Frontier]

Ooh, My sister was just like you. Parenting is easy, what's the fuss about? She assumed all children would be just like her pfb, eating everything put I front of them, sleeping well almost from day1, no clinginess, toilet trained in a few days, tantrums nipped in the bud by managing the first one properly, if only they were parented correctly. Everyone else must be doing it wrong. She also had two sets of active GPs desperate to take her DS off her hands on a regular basis, which must surely make a difference to the exhaustion levels of the parents.

Anyway, then her DS2 was born. Even she has to admit she was wrong and a bit of a cow about it all.

And,yes, maybe reserve judgement until you DD turns 13!

[Deverethemuzzler]

I found DD really easy. She was such a good baby and a bright but placid child.
I was on my own but apart from the financial side it was all good and not stressful.
Well apart from finding the childcare, paying for it and getting her there and back as well as working full time.
I can't say it wasn't tiring though. I mean how would you not be tired when you are getting up at 5.30 and working full time and then doing all the stuff you need to do when you get home?

I don't believe anyone who says they are not tired after a full day's work and caring for a small child.

I don't consider my children to be stressful.

I consider dealing with the things that happen when you have children to be stressful or having children when stressful things happen adds to the complications.


If we didn't have children when OH was dx with multiple sclerosis it would have been stressful but not as stressful IYSWIM.

Anyway OP congratulations on not being tired or stressed as you manage to parent one healthy child with a partner and enough money and somewhere to live.

That is quite an achievement.

[Sirzy]

Why ask the question at all if not to try to suggest that somehow you are some sort of fantastic parent because YOU don't find it stressful. Perhaps you should just feel greatful that things have (so far) worked well for you and enjoy that as you don't know whats around the corner.

For me yes being a parent is stressful. As a single parents to a child with severe asthma and currently being watched for SEN some days its bloody stressful. I love DS and wouldn't change him but its certainly not something which is stressfree and easy!

[furcoatbigknickers]

Hahaha.....that is all

[BrieAndChilli]

I believe that no one has the perfect child,
Some get bad sleepers, or bad eaters, etc if you've had it easy so far I fear you will get it durin the teenage years

[WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid]

I find if hard to believe you and your wife never felt tired. Even easy peasy babies/toddlers get colds and wake in the night.

Dd was a nightmare baby and toddler but now she sleeps. Ds is easy compared to her - if I had had ds first I would have been in for the shock of my life when dd was born.

[NigellasPeeler]

nickit you share the housework and childcare fifty fifty do you? if so, good on you....
now do the math = I have boy and girl twins as a working single parent. that would be what you do times at least four. at least.

[1sneezecakesmum]

No you are not even slightly unusual.

Most parents cope with their lives and their children without becoming stressed. Having an only child is probably the least stressful type of parenthood.

If you are telling me you neither of you have worried/stressed when you child had a fever or D&V and was unwell I don't believe you!

You sound very smug tbh.

[Groovee]

I'd wait until the pre teen hormones have kicked in, and then repost. My very sweet dd turned into a monster when the hormones started. Ds has been a stress since his labour.

We've got through it.