to think this kid is just fat?

[Daddypigsgusset]

Somebody on my Facebook (sorry!) Is currently moaning about the size of kids uniforms.
Her gripe is that for her 11 year old daughter she has had to buy ladies size 18 blouses and skirts. She is putting this down to shops having an unrealistic idea of the size of modern children or some such nonsense. She has a lot of people agreeing with her, full on hunnage included.
Having never met her daughter, I had no idea if she was right or not but found a pic of her on her profile and she is extremely overweight as are both her parents. It's them that have an unrealistic idea of a healthy sized child isn't it, and not m&s?

Yes I would say that if this was the case then her DD is overweight indeed. Poor poor child. Obviously her parents don't know what is healthy and are inflicting their diet/ portions on their daughter. Increasing her risk for all manner of health concerns.

And to those saying why post this on MN. Why not?? Why are some topics considered fine but others not?It's a forum. Surely everything is open for discussion? And whilst i don't particularly care for the FB reference I still think the OP has a point, perhaps a little clumsily made.

Our nation is plagued by hugely overweight and unhealthy people and children. This attitude of 'yeah it's not my diet, its the stores sizing that's at fault' is causing thousands of deaths every year! We should be discussing this problem in every form surely until it is no longer a problem!

I'm not trying to shift the blame. I'm pointing out what many people have said on other treads that once they hit secondary school it's much much harder to regulate what your kids eat because the rules hath apubo primary schools go out the window at secondary school. I was the same. I did what everyone else did got off a stop later and spent the change at the shop. If a bus fare is say £1.60 parents give two pounds.

Things like portions of chips at school were always the cheapest things to buy. Sat with a friend who also had a portion and you got to finish off the rest kind of thing.

If these calories aren't being taken into account then it's going to be much much harder to shift the weight if the parents are already unable to properly calculate.

I also stored all my cakes and chocolate bars and crisps from my lunch boxes. It was because I didn't want them BUT, had I wanted them I basically had a drawe full of Crap I coulda sat there and eaten.

I'm saying she may not be telling parents the truth regarding what she's eating. Why that is, could be any number of reasons but she may be ignoring what people have said with regard to her lunch choices. Probably because she was never really taught about what's not so good to eat all the time BUT I remember being 10/11 and starting to want to go against what my parents said so although the decision to be overweight isn't hers and her relationship with food is messed up, the decision to lie and be sneaky is possibly her decision.

Of course the child is fat. It's not normal and parents need to be told that it's not acceptable and taught how to avoid / deal with it.

People patting and lulling her on bloody facebook are stupid. They're playing down obesity. Will they still be doing that if the child becomes seriously ill as a result of fat related health problems?

Of course shops shouldn't stock size fucking 18 clothes for prepubescent children. What a ridiculous thing to say.

Finding suitable schoolwear in that size should be hard / impossible. Not to make it worse for the child but to make the parents realise it's not normal.

Jesus. Clearly the uniform issue is ridiculous - 11 yr olds are not meant to be that size so therefore uniform is not provided in that size - absolutely fair enough. And why NOT put it on MN and canvass opinions?? That's what it's here for!

Love 'full on hunnage'!

I am getting really sick of the term 'fat shaming' that has been coined by whoever and is bandied around here constantly.

If the child in question was skeletal and obviously undernourished there is no way people would be shouting 'judgemental' or 'you are thin shaming'.

Sorry Giles but you dont get to a size 18 by age 11 by sneaking in a few crisps and chocolates behing your parents back.

She may not be. But also may be.

There's no info to say whether the problem has been ongoing fir years or whether she's always been heavy but it's got worse since she started.

I gain weight really really easily. Insanely quickly. 11+ was about the time it started to happen.

We need the op really to clarify if this is something that's always been that way or whether there has been a fast sudden increase.

Like I said before the mum does sound delusional BUT there could be things she's not aware of that are also contributing.

There hae been a few MNers who have said that they regularly catch their kids climbing into cupboards. There was one just a couple of days ago about a friend who literally ate whole multi packs of crisps at the friends mums house.

I also know for instance that my parents like to treat my dds. And that when I'm not around there's whole rituals of stuff they give them.

here

I found this company advertising on the small business board here on mumsnet.

Clothes for 'larger than average' and 'sturdy' kids.

If you go to the sizing information, you will see that for age 12 to 13, it goes up to a 38.5 inch waist.

Welcome to the future.

"11 yr olds are not meant to be that size so therefore uniform is not provided in that size - absolutely fair enough."

^^ this

And of course the problem started earlier, iM not saying it didn't but the older kids get the smarter they get.

It's easy to say no to a four/five yr old. And her parents should have.

At four/five they aren't going anywhere without you.

But as they get older obviously they get more freedom.

That's where the lying could come in. Sneaking to the shop, not down the park. Walking to friends house and lying about having had tea.

of she's being bullied that well mean she's comfort eating so possibly a combination of sneaking food and parents doing nothing about it when they find the evidence.

Ffs. This day in age where a parent doesn't know what's healthy or not is entirely ignorant. There a loads of books, Facebook groups, programmes on TV, other media to help you. It's utter laziness.

I've been skint but have never resorted to microwave meals, chips or junk to feed my family - but I've come across loads that think this is cheaper than feeding their families good, healthy food.

We don't eat micro meals or shit, just stuff I make. We're overweight from portions. My fault and I know it. But my DS is a healthy weight with a good diet

Jux - DS2 has genuine food issues and avoids most fruit, almost all veg (we're talking 5 a week, rather than 5 a day, here) and loves oven chips. He's median weight.

Giles - at 11, the girl will only just be starting secondary school. She has probably been at a local primary school until now, with no school bus or busfare (and many LA's stll provide free buses or taxis where children have no choice in travelling more than 2 or3 miles or so, depending on age)

And Giles - the same brown carb loving boy has been known to steal bread from the kitchen, even climb on worktops to get to it. Still median weight. Barring genuine medical issues, it takes severe over-feeding for a child to be so large. I was a pudgy 10-11yo, but that was a 1980s size 10.

She could still be going out though.

I'm obviously not explaining very well here.

Did she ask to be weaned onto crap- no

Is it her fault this was all she got and got used to or maybe even addicted to sugar and junk etc- no

Would she have chosen to be like she is- no

Should parents have done something about it years ago/ of bloody course. And shame on them for not doing so.

And yes of course they have clearly messed up her relationship with food and making good choices.

But an eleven yr old may be in a position at times where they make choices with their behaviour. Like sneaking or lying. And if she is lying about what she's eaten or that she's spending money on stuff when she's been told no, then those are things that the parents may not be able to help.

Some kids are pretty determined. The parents (if they are trying to do anything, which we don't know) obviously need to step up the game big time. And perhaps they don't even care who knows, but there are often threads where people and understand why their children are gaining weight and even hen they write down a typical day it can be hard to see where it could be from, until they divulge that their kids can climb up to cupboards or sneak down in the middle of the night.

Now obviously as someone did mention, it's not all down to a bottle of fizzy drink and a chocolate bar they bought down the shop but it won't help, and if done often enough these things can add up to quite a significant amount of extra food and drink.

It's really sad that this wasn't dealt with when it first became a problem because it would have been far easier to do at 4/5/6 than at 11 when they have the freedom possibly the money and the mental capacity to be able to find ways of getting what they want.

If the whole family eats crap, then the potential access to vast quantities of stuff is there.

Of course they should lock the fridge etc but they may not be aware of that part or care that she's doing it.

And I'm talking about this being on top of the crap they already feed her.

Not meaning she sneaks everything herself.

I doubt shes even at secondary school yet, even so parents still have some control and say in what their child eats at this age. They dont have to be given dinner money, theres packed lunches, or bus fare as its cheaper anyway to get a bus pass.

However by this age if they have no awareness of healthy eating, and the op said the parents are big too so she may not. Its very unlikely that she well go on to make healthy choices when she has more money and more control of her diet.

Loving how the op hasn't been back to this controversial thread after starting it. I wonder why that could be

I was that child 30 odd years ago. I remember having a size 16 school skirt for secondary school. I hated it. I couldn't get nice clothes to fit me and I remember crying because I wanted a pair of pin stripe jeans that all my friends had but they didn't make them big enough. It wasn't my food diet that made me that big it was drinking gallons of full fat coke each day. At age 12 diet drinks started appearing and I switched to diet coke with agreement from my mum and hey presto the weight fell off. By age 14 I was a size 10. I have been a normal weight ever since. My dd age 10 eats for england and is skinny as a rake but she doesn't drink fizzy drinks at all ( not enforced by me ,I would be happy for her to gave them in moderation but she doesn't want them).I have to buy clothes with adjustable waist bands as everything is so massive on her otherwise, yet if I weigh her she is considered to be average height and weight for her age. She can't wear leggings because they are so massive. I have to say that whilst the memory of not being able to find clothes to fit is still very vivid to me it did make me do something about my weight. Perhaps clothes manufacturers need to stop making clothes so big and those children who are overweight maybe forced into doing something about it like I was.

One of my friends was very fat in school. Her sister was anorexic. There were food issues in that house and both girls reacted differently to those. Being that overweight at such a young age is more likely to be an eating disorder..

And I had no idea MardyBra was so attractive.