At the risk of bringing the discussion back on topic, can I just emphasis, to the small number of posters who have said that boys are being ignored, that my sole interest in this issue is because my DSS is being spousified and parentified by his abusive mother.
When I read posts referring to MWS, I equate the scenario to the one in which my DSS and his mother (and indeed, his mother and her own mother) are embroiled. The term "wife" in this context doesn't have the same, limited, meaning to me as it does to other posters fighting for it's elimination. I accept their pov, but hope they can accept my own, which is that it's just 'words'. I understand they some may wish to eliminate it, but can I plea that the "fight" to eliminate it isn't at the expense of the primary purpose we all agree on?
While I don't see the need for a slang term, I can relate to it's use, and certainly don't see the "red mist" that others experience when reading it. The experience of the poster using it helps me. I accept there has been a great deal of any angst and disquiet amongst regular posters and readers on the stepparenting boards, and that MNHQ has identified two "camps". While the motive of one, or both of these camps may be to challenge/eliminate the use of certain terms and phrases, I hope that isn't at the expense of the range and diversity of postings. I hope the stepparenting board won't continue to be littered with derailed threads and deleted posts. Because what was there, while it may not have been perfect, did help me, and I hope, other posters. Now, I'm second guessing what I say on the board, and giving up reading threads like this one when they degenerate into slanging matches.