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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit pee'ed off SIL chosen same middle name for her son as me.

83 replies

Steelojames · 21/08/2014 12:43

Out of all the names in the world, sister in law has chosen the same middle name for her son that I have.
I know I do not own the name, but come on???
Brother claims he didn't know but he did. Haven't made a scene and only told my mother I was slightly annoyed.
Am I being unreasonable??

OP posts:
WD41 · 21/08/2014 12:45

Yes, yabu. As you say, you don't own the name and it's only a middle name

JustAShopGirl · 21/08/2014 12:46

my friend chose the same first name as I gave my DD... did not bother me at all

Just think of it showing she thinks you have good taste.

fedupandtired · 21/08/2014 12:46

Yes you're being unreasonable. Apart from the fact no-one uses their middle name, middle names are often family names so it wouldn't that that unusual for family members to share one.

My middle name is Louise, as is my DD's after my nan. Had my sister had daughters she may also have chosen Louise. No big deal.

schmee · 21/08/2014 12:46

It's just a middle name, and traditionally that would be a family name, shared by lots of people in the same family so YABU

Fairenuff · 21/08/2014 12:47

Yes YABU.

Did you mean your middle name, or your son's middle name?

TheFairyCaravan · 21/08/2014 12:47

YABU!

And why in all these threads is it always the SIL? Why does the BIL/brother never have nothing to do with it? Hmm

MardyBra · 21/08/2014 12:48

I think this really is one to let go. Middle names count for bugger all in the grand scheme of things, and it's not worth making a fuss about.

SavoyCabbage · 21/08/2014 12:48

Has she called her baby after you?

browneyedgirl86 · 21/08/2014 12:48

Yabu. It's just a middle name.

ViviPru · 21/08/2014 12:49

Yeah a bit U in as much as it's only a middle name and it could have had meaning for her too. I'm due the day after my SiL and if we told them PFB's name first and they then used the same middle name I'd be a bit Hmm sure, but think either oh well, imitation's the sincerest form of flattery and all that, or assume they'd already considered it as a name they like.

I can't see anything positive coming from doing anything beyond letting off stream with your mum.

halfdoneharris · 21/08/2014 12:50

Yes YABU - maybe she was disappointed when she found out you used the name as it is the name of her father, uncle, grandad and had always planned on calling a son that. Cousins with the same middle name is not entirely unusual

MaidOfStars · 21/08/2014 12:50

Pretty much all of my maternal cousins' female children have the same middle name, that of my grandmother/their great-grandmother. It is 'May' so can pretty much fit with any first name.

MaidOfStars · 21/08/2014 12:53

So yes, YABU.

Thurlow · 21/08/2014 12:53

Unless it is a completely unique and made up name, YABU. It's a name. No one owns it.

She may have wanted to use that middle name for years.

Summerblaze · 21/08/2014 12:53

My SIL chose the same middle name for her DD that my DD had. It was a family name so that was why.

I was a bit miffed as if i had known she were going to carry on this particular name, i would have liked to have used my DM's name. I never got to in later dc's as they were boys.

However, it isnt really a big deal years on and they seem to like that they have the same middle name so i am glad i didnt make a big deal out of it then.

BringMeSunshine2014 · 21/08/2014 12:56

It's a middle name - does it actually matter?

Have you asked your brother way they chose that? It might be a family name from her side of the family. I assume it's not from your side of the family or you wouldn't even be questioning it right?!

Summerblaze · 21/08/2014 12:57

So YABU (but so was i....a bit).

PeachOwl · 21/08/2014 12:57

My sister also chose the same middle name for her dc1 as we had for dc2 and also apparently forgot it was dc2's name (there are only a couple of months between them). Tbh it did annoy me at first, especially as we talked about names and I specifically asked if she and her partner had any favourites that we should avoid! But I never said anything except what a lovely bond between cousins and I genuinely quite feel that now (several big things have happened since to make me treasure my family and their quirks Grin) and it does suit both of their first names really well.

Original poster
Steelojames · 21/08/2014 12:58

Yeah I haven't made a big deal and just said "oh so we will have two in the family" etc, secretly fuming!
Our son's will grow up to be close, so I will just let it go.
I blame my brother though, he def initiated the name then acted like he didn't know it was my son's middle name also.
But yeah oh well.
Thanks guys.

OP posts:
hatsybatsy · 21/08/2014 13:00

but you won't have 2? it's the middle name- will never get used.

YABU

BringMeSunshine2014 · 21/08/2014 13:00

Why would your brother do that? Is it a family name?

Original poster
Steelojames · 21/08/2014 13:00

It is not a family name on our side but could be on hers, I don't know.
Think best to let it go and not question it.

OP posts:
hollie84 · 21/08/2014 13:02

Who even knows what other people's middle names are?

Lots of families have people sharing names anyway. Family names.

Floop · 21/08/2014 13:04

Yabu. It's not your name, anybody can choose it.

RedToothBrush · 21/08/2014 13:04

Is it a) a very common name b) a potential family name ?

It does make something of a difference imho.

Historically it is very common for cousins to share middle names because of family connections.

If its popular, then you could moan about a lot of other people too.