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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To find stealth boast fb posts about DC really irritating?

34 replies

bronya · 18/08/2014 15:02

All DC develop at different rates - for the people on my fb feed, my DC does some things their same aged DC do not, and theirs do things my DC does not. Does it really matter? Are these going to be the 'my DC is on x reading level - so proud' people when the children go to school? Why do people need to boast about their DC anyway?

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 18/08/2014 15:04

Who cares?

Just block them from your news feed or unfriend them if you find it annoying.

HayDayQueen · 18/08/2014 15:07

I never post about my DC, but my DSis wishes I did. She sooo wants to keep track of what they're up to (seriously!). But I doubt anyone else does so she has to put up with waiting until we talk on the phone!

But then she and I are close, and are proud of each other's DC achievements, so it's not bragging between each other.

MeanwhileHighAboveTheField · 18/08/2014 15:08

Meh. I like to share stuff my kids are up to on Facebook. If that means doing well at x or y, or learning to do z then that is part of it.

I also like to hear about my friend's children.

aquashiv · 18/08/2014 15:18

Don't read them. Gosh all I seem to see is bad news these days I love hearing good things about my friends however trivial in fact one of the things I miss about the old days of FB was all the things people would share/argue/be proud to talk about. Its all become rather sanitised these days.

ICanSeeTheSun · 18/08/2014 15:21

My DC, My FB and my wall.

If people don't like what I post then unfriend me, block or don't follow me.

awsomer · 18/08/2014 15:23

Urgh... How often do we have to discuss this? If it annoys you that much block/hide them.
Also, did you know fb mostly shows you content that you've shown an interest in. So if a particular person is always on your feed it's probably because you often view their posts. Which makes me wonder whether your friends stealth boasting is really something you just actually love to hate....

chubbyhez · 18/08/2014 15:23

When I see people do shit like that I assume they are lame-o's.

manofsponge · 18/08/2014 15:24

THERE is a Facebook topic on here

Original poster

bronya · 18/08/2014 15:25

I wouldn't mind if they posted loads, just sharing news. Only to post stuff that makes your DC look 'advanced' though...

OP posts:

Hassled · 18/08/2014 15:27

Some people go too far the other way - I have a few friends whose DCs have just done amazingly well at A Levels, and they've been very coy about it on FB presumably because they don't want to seem like they're boasting. But some things are boastworthy and they should shout it from the rooftops, I reckon.

Loudandtothepoint · 18/08/2014 15:47

There is nothing wrong with being proud of your kids, whether it be about them finally mastering crawling or walking or reading.

Just because someone says they are proud of their kid for doing something doesn't mean they are saying your kid is shit because they are not. They are just happy for their kid.

LokiBear · 18/08/2014 16:10

I don't mind people boasting, although it's not my thing. The thing I absolutely hate is the daft 'wishing my little prince a happy second birthday. Mummy loves you so much darling, always remember that. ...blah blah' posts. Your two year old can't read, why are you posting it publicly?! It defies logic!

Thurlow · 18/08/2014 16:11

There is nothing wrong with being proud of your kids, whether it be about them finally mastering crawling or walking or reading. Just because someone says they are proud of their kid for doing something doesn't mean they are saying your kid is shit because they are not. They are just happy for their kid

This.

They're generally just saying it because it made them happy.

Hurr1cane · 18/08/2014 16:12

When I had Facebook I used to post about how proud I was of my very clever DS.

I posted about how proud I was of him saying his first word at 5. And how proud I was of him for counting to 10 aged 7.

I don't mind other people being proud either. It's nicer than all the moaning about the children posts I used to read.

Life is so much better without it though.

parakeet · 18/08/2014 16:36

Loki almost as bad as people telling their pre-computer-literate children how much they love them, is them telling their spouse how much they love them. Just say it to their face FGS!

Tikimon · 18/08/2014 16:43

You pick the friends that show up in your feed.

I see nothing wrong with being proud of your child. They worked hard to accomplish it, did the not?

extraneous · 18/08/2014 16:57

YABU. I love reading how well other people's children are doing. But I don't share much about my own, because of attitudes like this. If you are truly friends with someone, don't you want to share what makes them happy? Otherwise hide or unfriend them. The 'tall poppy' syndrome is so British. It's miserable.

CabbagePatchCheryl · 18/08/2014 17:04

Just because someone says they are proud of their kid for doing something doesn't mean they are saying your kid is shit because they are not. They are just happy for their kid.

This, absolutely this. Can also be applied to basically everything else parenting-related: breastfeeding, childbirth, co-sleeping etc etc etc:

Mum A says she is doing something which is working or her child is doing something that she is happy about. Mum B does it differently/has a child who doesn't do that. Mum B assumes that Mum A is somehow criticising her choice/child.

It may be because I have no DCs yet but.... WHYYYY??? Is it our natural British tendency to turn everything positive into a negative.

simontowers2 · 18/08/2014 17:27

I think boasting generally in life is much more accepted these days. It isnt even stealth boasting from what i can see - it is out and out boasting or, worst still, fishing for complements. Eg on fb, Look at this pic of my newborn. Isn't she cute. Erm, no not really, quite ugly actually. Or, look at all our pointless holiday pics. Aren't we all fab and happy? Erm, no actually your whole family looks rather tedious and pointless.
It's all about insecurity. People try big up their life usually when the reality is that their life is a bit dull or whatever and the obvious temptation is to do a little airbrushing.

ToughTimes1 · 18/08/2014 17:36

I so agree, it's very annoying and I do wonder why they feel the need to let all on FB know about such things. Hate the competitive way some people parent. YANBU.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 18/08/2014 17:50

I think for some parents it's some kind of barometer as to themselves rather than what their children are about.

I'm hardly ever on facebook but there seem to be quite distinct parenting 'boasts'. Some seem very genuine and I'm delighted for them and others seem to be the parent trying to revel in some kind of reflected glory. It's very weird.

I comment on the ones I want to and just ignore the others. If I don't have anything glowing to say I just don't say anything, there's no point in hurting somebody's feelings.

Delphiniumsblue · 18/08/2014 17:54

If you don't like them, or it bothers you, don't have them as friends on FB.

WelshBlackbird · 18/08/2014 17:57

Gosh! I am just going to delete my FB. There is nothing left to post on there. People hate anyone mentioning anything at all about their children. People hate people posting holiday pics. People have a right old gripe when people post what they are going to have for dinner. People get jealous when friends post pics of them having a night out. Nobody is interested in what you did in work today. What exactly can people post of FB without people whinging these days?

RockinHippy · 18/08/2014 18:00

YABVU & need to get out more if this really. winds you up so much

They are posting about something that makes them happy & proud - not putting you & your DC down - that perception if it is firmly in your head, not theirs.

honestly, just be happy for them, enjoy the good news in your feed or delete & work on why you are so unhappy with life, that something so innocent us seen as a personal put down.

I enjoy seeing my friends post things they are happy about, because they are my friends, I care & if it makes them happy, then that's all good in my book

CabbagePatchCheryl · 18/08/2014 18:01

WelshBlackBird I know! Maybe I'm naive but I used to think it was a nice way of sharing and hearing about good things that people were up to. I'm happy for my friends when they're out for a great night or their kid does something cool.

If all the "boasters" left facebook, what will we be left with? The massive whingers and crappy games apps!

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