DH bought someone an eternity ring when I was out of town. AIBU to freak out?

[Topaz25]

I have been out of town for two weeks helping to care for my dying grandmother. She sadly passed away on Monday and I returned home a few days ago. Since then things have been up and down with my husband and we have argued. He seems distant since I got back, which was a bit of a red flag. OTOH I am obviously tense and over sensitive at the moment.

Tonight I found (in the open, I wasn't snooping) a receipt showing that he purchased a silver eternity ring while I was out of town. The ring is not my size and I do not have a birthday or other special occasion coming up. I suppose it is possible that he bought the ring to cheer me up (and forgot my size) and then hasn't given it to me because we argued. Something else that worries me is this ring was purchased from a shop that has several branches in our home town but it was not purchased here, it was purchased from a branch in a nearby town. I don't even know why he would be there. Another issue is that it was purchased on a Monday. Monday is normally my husband's day off but recently he told me was doing overtime on Mondays. AIBU to be concerned? AIBU to confront him? I don't want to come across as paranoid and start another argument. WWYD?

Glad it is a happy ending.

As for ring sizes on receipts, I only know my size because it is on a receipt - for an eternity ring.

How deliciously obnoxious,to harrumph about my bad spelling,grammar
My so rude 'inimitable', badly-grammered and spelt style
As opposed to your well composed,correctly spelt observation?

Sort your own spelling before having a go at mine

Yes great idea.in fact why not get him followed
No harm in being certain,eh?

He has not received his first monthly wage since starting the overtime, it has only been the last couple of weeks. I'm sure his wage will increase, now I think about it I would easily be able to find out if he is doing over time as we work in the same building although not on the same days so it would not be a good alibi.

OP should ring 101.

Or I've got the number for MI5 if she wants it.

Thank goodness you didn't post this on Relationships OP.

It's bad enough here with some people still encouraging you to distrust him and check up on him.

Agent

Lol at SM.

You did exactly what I would have done Topaz - ask outright. If something is going on, it catches them off guard - if nothing then a genuine response; communication is always the key.

I would definitely recommend some form of marriage counselling, but only if you are both up for it and both prepared to be honest and to listen to each other's view, it can really help to have the outsider there to stop you from slipping into the same old argument.

Also, for the loss of your grandmother, that will have taken a lot out of you mentally and emotionally, without the added ring saga and arguing. Hope you are feeling a bit better now.

Agent

Had she posted in relationship,shed be told LTB,Regaled with tales of narcissistic exes
for some on mn,every story is a fishy story,and mans place us in the wrong

I've RFID chipped DH.

It was a bit tricky, but him being a heavy sleeper came in handy for the first time ever.

I'm a very suspicious person actually and would never take anything at face value, but the OP has said she's happy with the explanation Infinity, it's not fair to try and stir it up even more than it already has been for her.

She trusts him and has got the ring, she's obviously not going to forget what she thought and can reassess if anything else comes up, but until then, making her feel as though he is feeding her a line is only going to pile on even more stress isn't it? Even if he is up to something.

The Usual is to presume everything ok,until proven otherwise
Its not healthy to start from stance of man must be up to something
Its not healthy to presume partner is at it,or no harm checking.thats edgy and suspicious

She has also now clearly stated that she's happy with the explanation. I agree with Agent

Your ability to share opinion hasn't been restricted.at all.
I do find your suggestion of further checking daft,and too suspicious
And no harm in being certain?well actually theres harm if every act is deemed suspicious

If it was bought on Monday. The same day your gm passed maybe he bought it to you to give to you the day of the funeral? And the shop could have put the wrong size on or he could have forgot n guessed wrong.

I would ask though. It could be perfectly innocent. It also might not be

Thanks OurMiracle1106 but the thread has moved on a bit.

I know I asked a question on a public forum and I really do appreciate people's advice, opinions and concerns. I needed the kick up the butt from someone outside the situation to just ask him already instead of obsessing about it! It's also a relief to hear other people would have been concerned so I am not completely irrational! However, I am happy with his explanation so there is no need for further speculation.

People are entitled to their opinion but I don't appreciate Wedgiebum insinuating that I can't see the truth because grief has clouded my judgement! I'm sad, not stupid! I mentioned my recent bereavement to explain why I was out of town and why I am emotional at the moment, not so it could be used against me!

I would pay an investigator to follow him next monday and say nothing. Only one way to find out...

Thanks for the flowers and advice, ScarlettlovesRhett, you made some good points about marriage counselling.

Note to self... read thread before posting...

Thanks for the laughs, fun1nthesun.