To not want her boyfriend to come?

[itsnormalforbridgwater]

My 2 6th form friends want to meet up before I have my first DC in September, which is lovely. DF1 is newly in a relationship and DF2 is in a 10 year relationship. DF2 never brings her long term boyfriend (who I know from college) and it's generally a girls weekend with the exception of my DH being in the background when they come to my place.

We meet up every couple of months, normally at mine (they tend to invite themselves), probably because my DH is an amazing and generous host and they can't be bothered/don't have the space. I don't generally mind, as when I go to theirs they make absolutely no effort and I end up shelling out on restaurants and buying rounds of drinks, so I'd rather be in my own bed rather than on their sofa especially at the moment.

DF has planned our dinner (an amazing 4 courses) and has told me after he's sorted everything he's going to his study to do some revision. I've told them both this.

last week my friend text me saying "I'm not sure if I am supposed to bring mark or not?", I responded "whose mark?" "My boyfriend you've got to meet him?" "I didn't realise you were seeing anyone, how long?" "4 weeks" "I don't think we ever discussed bringing blokes? Is Emma bringing tom?" (Panic, I don't have enough beds and DH has ordered all the meat) "no, but I'm easy, can I bring him. You have to meet him at some point".

AIBU to say no, I really don't want you to bring your boyfriend, who I've never met to stay in my house and eat all my food? I'll say it nicer than that). I've got SPD and I'll have to clear out the study and make another bed for them.

DH has named our dinner btw and I didn't add that she text "your husband will be there after all!"

Just say that it's fine. Just say I'd love to meet him, but I'm not feeling the best and we have already got all the stuff in for just 2 visitors. Why don't we arrange something for another time.

Plus fuck off I'm not cooking a four course meal for someone you've been seeing 4 weeks is a more aggressive alternative.

'Named' your dinner???

Why don't you just say "its a girls night but let's arrange for you both to come and stay soon"

Just say, no, that won't work for this weekend, you'd love to meet him some other time.

Yeah I thought so too! I don't really want an unknown male to witness or hear that my DH has to pull me off the toilet! Haha

"Named" haha- I meant ordered as in ordered the meat.

You could respond and say let's keep it a girly night together, can't wait to see you etc.

The bigger question, which you didn't ask, is why you keep inviting these "friends" to your house, when you feel they are taking advantage of you.

I thought for a bit he had made a homage to you out of the meat.

Because I love them but accept they are either just crap with hosting or skint.

Harold- he probably would! He loves eating/cooking so much!

I want to come

Yanbu just say can we please make it a girly weekend, we have to arrange a meal out to meet Mark sometime!

If you don't want him to come then say so.

what about replying yes, my husband will be here - that's because he lives here AND he's being kind enough - again - to cook for us all. Don't worry though, he's respecting that it's my mates' night in and will be making himself scarce so it will just be the three of us.

Phew, had visions of him serving up 'Bessy the cow' for main!

Just be honest and say you don't have enough beds but you'd love to meet him another time, for coffee or something.

And he owns our house and all the contents! DH was originally going to be working all weekend but has taken some time off to help me/yank me off toilet seats/put my socks on/lift things for me.

I suggested eating out but same friend was like "just do us a pizza or lasagne or something". Grrrr. I've probably made it too nice for them when they visit- amazing meals, vino and cooked breakfasts. I'll give them cornflakes this time.

It'll change when I have the baby, I won't be able to afford to feed them when we go down to one income.

Just say although you'd love to meet him this weekend isn't a great one - everything already ordered and your partner is just eating with you and won't be socialising.

No real friend would mind!

I think you sound petty. "Eat all my food"

And what has DH owning your house got to do with anything?

Ok I will do- I guess it was just easier for her to do it for free! She cheekily said that everyone met him at her birthday and I was only one that hadn't! (which I couldn't go to as I'd either have to sleep in her floor-not at 30 weeks pregnant! or fork out for a London hotel-£££)

You sound like you don't really want your friends there, let alone the boyfriend...

Winni- thanks for that! I think you sound not very nice!

It's not just the food so much (but I'd rather not have my DH cook and wait on a complete stranger) but it's more a stranger being in my house. Once I've met him that's fine.

I agree Tony Op you come over as rather supercilious...like you look down on them a bit.

She texted you about this last week? Have you made her wait a week for a response as to whether she can bring him or not? On the one hand you sound a bit precious - unless your husband is using some incredibly special meat, I can't see why the fact that he already ordered it makes a difference, surely he can just order or buy an additional piece? However, it is thoughtless of your friend to ask - you are pregnant, tired and you are (again) hosting your friends. Just say no to the boyfriend coming! And, to be honest, I would back off a bit on hosting - your friends sound like freeloaders, inviting themselves over for lovely weekends at yours.