To not want her boyfriend to come?

[itsnormalforbridgwater]

My 2 6th form friends want to meet up before I have my first DC in September, which is lovely. DF1 is newly in a relationship and DF2 is in a 10 year relationship. DF2 never brings her long term boyfriend (who I know from college) and it's generally a girls weekend with the exception of my DH being in the background when they come to my place.

We meet up every couple of months, normally at mine (they tend to invite themselves), probably because my DH is an amazing and generous host and they can't be bothered/don't have the space. I don't generally mind, as when I go to theirs they make absolutely no effort and I end up shelling out on restaurants and buying rounds of drinks, so I'd rather be in my own bed rather than on their sofa especially at the moment.

DF has planned our dinner (an amazing 4 courses) and has told me after he's sorted everything he's going to his study to do some revision. I've told them both this.

last week my friend text me saying "I'm not sure if I am supposed to bring mark or not?", I responded "whose mark?" "My boyfriend you've got to meet him?" "I didn't realise you were seeing anyone, how long?" "4 weeks" "I don't think we ever discussed bringing blokes? Is Emma bringing tom?" (Panic, I don't have enough beds and DH has ordered all the meat) "no, but I'm easy, can I bring him. You have to meet him at some point".

AIBU to say no, I really don't want you to bring your boyfriend, who I've never met to stay in my house and eat all my food? I'll say it nicer than that). I've got SPD and I'll have to clear out the study and make another bed for them.

Op has said they don't make any effort, they invite themselves which is very rude. When she goes to theirs she's the one buying the rounds and going to restaurants. Mabey they have grown apart, mabey they think that op is flush as they are in good professions. When I asked op what they do for her, not necessarily monetary but within friendship she was hard pressed to find an answer. That is the important thing here.

They are lawyers op has just mentioned so I don't know why they are skint

Not all lawyers get paid a fortune you know.

Just say something like: I would love to meet Mark another time but I would prefer this weekend to be a girlie get together with you and fr1 before the baby arrives. It could be a while before we can have another one once the baby arrives. I'm sure you understand

I wouldn't mention about your dh (he lives there so of course he will be there in passing) and it will also lay the ground work for letting her know that once your baby arrives, you might not be playing host as often so it's a win win! If fr1 is a true friend and mature she will understand, if she doesn't understand, she is not a good friend.

Sorry, I had tried posting several times and it kept crashing on me so I hadn't seen the update. I hope op has a lovely evening. It has worked well all round that her dh had to go to work and they are eating out. At 30 weeks pregnant, it is probably easier to go out than to have to cook and tidy up afterwards. If it is pub grub, I'm sure her friend's can choose something within their budgets. Whether the op and her dh were multi millionaires or just breaking even, it shouldn't matter. Her friends should be able to pay their own way. They have the money to travel regularly from London to where ever she lives so they can't be that skint IMO.

See how things go when your dd arrives OP, I hope they don't let you down

How did it go, itsnormal, how were your friends?

Just catching up hope you and a good time.

Bring me sunshine, in my book, if you go out to eat I a restaurant you don't really need advance notice that you are expected to pay your share.

And bring me sunshine, I think you are being unnecessarily aggressive here for no good reason.

Shall we blame that on YOUR hormones?

Hey everyone! It was lovely to see them last night, we had a lot of laughs and the restaurant was great and we paid for our own. I guess that's what they give me.

I can't afford to spend £200 on a hotel in London at the moment, hence I couldn't go to her 30th. Believe me, I looked for something cheaper but even the Premier Inns cost almost that, add on the cost of a train to London, dinner, tube, breakfast and before you know it that's £500. With a baby on the way and so much to buy as well as an imminent drop in income, I can't afford that.

Lawyers pay varies massively, senior corporate lawyers in the city in magic circle firms can earn £250k but I work in employment, part time in the countryside and I earn about 5% of that.

It's is pricey going to London for the weekend, and I wouldn't bother until you have the baby and you haven't got SPD.

Not that you have to explain yourself to anyone!

Glad you had a nice time, no doubt the dynamics will change naturally now you have a baby. Maybe your house won't be so attractive to stay at with an early alarm call from a baby, and you will probably be raring to go for a night in a hotel and have a lie in and a poo in peace.

Good luck

Yes indeed it is! I went before I got up the duff and couldn't believe how expensive the tube has got for a day ticket- unbelievable!!!

I think they both got quite a shock when they got here at how big I was and the mobility issues I had as the evening went on. I could drive but had to be pulled out the car which is quite a sight.

Thank you Harold, that's very kind x

I'm so glad you had a nice time with your friends, normal, I was wondering how it went. How is Heston Husband today? Cooked you something nice for lunch, I hope!

Hope you feel better soon, SPD is a 'mare, it really is.

I am glad istnormal, that you had a lovely time, mabey that will set the standard for the future. With baby, I cant imagine you will do it as often as you are currently meeting them.

Ooooh what is the magic circle, sounds interesting?

My friend had SPD before she had her ds recently, she still has it after he was born. i really hope that it gets better for you. Gosh i can imagine that sight, you being hulled out of your car like that