AIBU to physically enjoy sex with a man even though I feel I'm gay?

[Abloodybigmessinside]

I guess I'm looking for opinions as to whether this is normal.
I can have a nice time whilst being intimate with a man, even manage to climax with the right 'help'... But, I used to date women and really yearn to be with a woman. I feel I'm gay..
Are there any other gay people out there that have enjoyed sex with the opposite sex but were still sure they were gay? It's just a feeling I have inside.

So did you not fancy and desire your male partner when you first met him? Have you ever had intense crushes on a man?

I'm a lesbian and as far as I'm concerned a lesbian is any woman who says she's a lesbian. I get very frustrated with the self-appointed Sapphic Police on duty.

There's a reason that so few women are "gold stars" (lesbians who have never had sex with a man) and it's because as soon as a girl or woman says she thinks she's gay she's met with a lot of "no you're not." Whether that's concerned friends and family saying you just haven't met the right man yet, or men who think they can 'turn' you, or the media publishing huge things about "fashionably bisexual" women who are going through "a phase," there's a lot of social pressure to at least try the cock before you buy anything else. or there was when I came out, circa 1999, anyway.

Whereas I think the reaction to a man coming out tends to be either good for you or eww nasty, there is less of a tendency to talk them into sampling a few vaginas just to be sure.

OP in answer to your question as to whether there are other people who have enjoyed sex with men but felt they were gay - I'm not sure I quite count because although I did have sex with a few men in my teens, I wasn't able to emotionally enjoy sex with men as I knew that I was fooling myself, which meant I couldn't enjoy it physically (I never climaxed) but they weren't long term relationships and we were fumbling kids. Finding the stimulation of sexual centres pleasurable doesn't mean much one way or the other - they don't take your nerve endings away in exchange for a lifetime membership of the Lesbian Mafia.

Itsbetter - yes, I found my partner attractive in a way, he has nice hands, a kind face, etc mostly I fell for his personality. Visually though, I have rarely looked at a mans body and felt the need to rip his clothes off.. Never that intense passion that I have felt with a woman. I had teenage crushes on men but tbh I usually just followed whoever my friends deemed attractive at the time.

The possibly of being gay was so alien to me when I was younger that I never analysed any strong feelings I had for girls and thought 'I fancy them'. My parents acted as if gay people didn't exist, apart from the occasional 'joke' about the gay men who owned a shop near us.
I didn't really know what a lesbian was or that it was a possibility till I went to art college. At that point I had never properly kissed a boy, just the odd reluctant peck on the lips, which I hadn't enjoyed.
Once at college, my gay (male) friend told me one of my female friends fancied me. I was really flattered and excited to hear that, never crossed my mind to feel any other way.. I ended up losing my virginity to her and it was probably one of the most amazing experiences I've had.. Not technically good but just so lovely.

Thanks for your thoughts posy, I do feel like a lot of people have questioned my sexuality over the years. As I said before, I felt a huge pressure to conform and go along with what my parents imagined for me and what my friends were all doing at the time.

When I was 8 I used to play a game with my best friend where we would lie on top of each other and Eskimo kiss. Ok, so I know it sounds lame but I loved that game.. Until one day her big sister told me it was a bad game and we shouldn't play it anymore as girls don't do that with girls.

I just feel like, even back then, it felt natural to me.

Ok that makes sense to me. I know I am bi because I have strong desire and crushes towards men and women and always have, before I had sexual experiences with either or one or the other. Imo it's that attraction that makes your sexuality what it is because you can never have any sexual experience at all but still know you desire that person.

Yeah, the desire bit... I get that

I am kind of the same. I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for nearly 10 years now and we got together quite young. I've never been in a relationship with a man (or had sex with a man) but I fantasize about sleeping with them quite a lot. Sometimes I think it's because I haven't experienced it so I am just curious.

They are just fantasies though, maybe I would feel differently if I was single. I do find certain men attractive but never in a sexual way and I can't imagine having a boyfriend ever.

Chesters - It is hard to tell the difference between curiosity and wants/needs isn't it. Same goes for fantasies, some of them would probably be rubbish in real life.
I suppose I have the advantage of knowing what it is like to sleep with someone of the same sex, I have something to compare my current experience to..

Before I had a girlfriend I don't think I could have imagined having one. Felt perfectly normal at the time though..