AIBU to physically enjoy sex with a man even though I feel I'm gay?

[Abloodybigmessinside]

I guess I'm looking for opinions as to whether this is normal.
I can have a nice time whilst being intimate with a man, even manage to climax with the right 'help'... But, I used to date women and really yearn to be with a woman. I feel I'm gay..
Are there any other gay people out there that have enjoyed sex with the opposite sex but were still sure they were gay? It's just a feeling I have inside.

jfc being a lesbian doesn't necessarily mean you're repulsed by penis/the thought of being with a man.

No but it means that you simply don't find it appealing.

You think I'm straight because I wonder about labeling?

Oooh, THANKS for homoromantic, Lucy! That's meeee I've got a word! Irritatingly, this means I'm a homoromantic heterosexual, but at least I've got a word :)

Good luck with finding your 'word', Abloody, and I really hope you end up doing what truly suits you.

No I think that a homophobic society has an impact on everyone.

If we're getting technical, I wouldn't describe a penis as appealing..

abloody

To put it another way, when I am with a man, I feel I am just acting out a part, going through the motions..

With a woman, the whole thing comes naturally and I don't have to think, it just happens and is enjoyable.

But are you sexually attracted to the men op. Do you desire them before having sex? Crushes on men?

If you were a lesbian you'd never want to get close to a man in a sexual way

This is bonkers, isn't it? That's the equivalent of saying I can't call myself straight because I sometimes want to get close to a woman in a sexual way. I can even describe sex with a woman as 'nice' or 'lovely', but it doesn't fire up my primal instincts like sex with a man (even one I don't like, tbh.) I have no doubt I'm straight. It would be better for me personally if I were gay - but I'm not. The fact I can like being sexy with a woman doesn't alter this.

Why is homosexuality bonkers to you Garlic?

You don't have to be repulsed by men to be gay!
Although Augustus if you enjoy and do have sex with women it sounds like maybe you aren't completely straight..

With a woman, the whole thing comes naturally and I don't have to think, it just happens and is enjoyable.

I'm obviously no expert ... but that sounds gay (homoerotic) to me?

I think Kinsey was onto something...

I don't actually care about my 'word', better, but the absence of primal instinct regarding women makes me heteroerotic imo. It's all very well snogging a female friend because I lurve her, but the urge to do inelegant things naked with a woman has never grabbed me. My hormones have made it very clear they like men's bodies.

I should think that anyone can physically enjoy sex if they are relaxed and the right areas are being stimulated as it were. That's why sex toys are popular, because they do the right things. Having an orgasm with a toy doesn't mean you're attracted to plastic or machines, it's just in the right place at the right time.

I do think there are two levels to sex, the physical and the emotional connection and the emotional part probably tells you what sexuality you are, regardless of what physically turns you on or not.

Thanks Garlic I think you are the straight version of me!

I didn't say homosexuality's bonkers to me, Briar! I find the statement 'a lesbian would never want to get close to a man in a sexual way' absurdly reductive. By way of illustration, I tried to point out that straight women can want to get close to one another in a sexual way, without feeling primal desire. Nobody tries to tell women they can't be straight because they could face the prospect of sex with a woman.

Yeah, Abloody, it's a shame we can't part-exchange

My sex toys don't answer back... I find them very attractive.

Oh Drunken snogging is different to sex and a relationship. Your post made it seem more than kissing.

This is like the pointless argument I had with DH a few weeks ago where I happened to mention that I'm bi (it had never really come up before) and he snorted and said no you're not, you can't be, you've never slept with a woman

I know if I'm bi or not, I don't have to actually have done anything. His argument was "well what if you did it and found out you hated it, would you not be bi any more then?" don't really think he gets how the whole thing works.

"Why do we need labels" - straight people who've never had to question or explain their sexuality in their life - totally spot on IME.

Yes, I can face the prospect of sex with a man, I can go through the motions...

The 'primal urge' thing is interesting, I think that's it.. I have a primal urge when I look at and am with (certain) women.

For instance, watching a sex scene between two women, I get a physical response in my body, I feel my hairs stand on end, sometimes my stomach flips at the thought of that being me in that situation, I can remember just how it feels to kiss and hd a woman etc

Sex scene between a woman and a man, I find the sexiness of it mildly arousing but my vision is focused on the woman in the scene..

ha ha juney :)

Ha ha juney & garlic