WWYD if your 15 year old daughter...

[MrsAtticus]

brought home a 22 year old boyfriend?
(sorry it's not actually an aibu)

I agree with DownstairsMixUp

I had a 23 year old BF when I was 17 - not a sophisticated worldly 17 year old, nor a immature naive one - just a 6th former. My parents watched and waited, and despite liking him, I think they (like me, now) wondered about the issues that would lead a man that age to be attracted to a relationship with a schoolgirl.

... To answer your question, OP. I'd be really concerned. I might do as SirChenjin suggests

Ask a lot of questions...

Is he nice? Does he hang out with her in the house? Does he seem to treat her well?

I wouldn't rule it out, and I imagine banning her from seeing him will only make you all unhappy. I think the best thing to do would be to explain to her about your concerns.

Chances are that the age gap will stop it being a long term thing. Realistically she's no more likely to have sex with her boyfriend if he's 22 than 15, so all you can do on that front is make sure she understands the realities and responsibilities of being sexually active.

That was me. But it started when I was 11 and he 18, ending with me 16 and pregnant.

If it were my DD I would certainly not do nothing.

It's sick. Sorry.

I think some people are confusing boyfriend with sex.
Its not automatic that because they are gf and bf that they are having sex.Attraction can be just as much about mind as body.At 15 there is no way I would have been interested in a boy of under 16, because I was pretty mature.
I just think the automatic branding of a bloke in their early twenties going out with a teenage girl as something criminal, is unfair.

With my dd's -well, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

When my daughter was 19, she had a squaddie boyfriend aged 26. Of course, she was of legal age, but I still had grave concerns about the age difference. Turns out he did treat her badly, but I could not have done anything about it. We talked and talked and talked (rather, I talked and talked and talked!!), but in the end it was her decision.

If she had been 15, I would have had MUCH more to say.

If sex had taken place, the offence would be sexual activity with a child. (If she was was 12 or under then it would be rape). The minor would not have to press charges for the police to act. It would be up to the authorities to decide whether it was in the public interest to prosecute.

I wasn't posting from the viewpoint of having had this life experience but from the viewpoint of being a teacher of teenagers - you here all sorts, stuff I'm sure their parents know nothing about!

hear or rather over hear, I should say.

Us parents know fine well we don't know what our teens are up to - we were teenagers too, remember?

My eldest ds is 22. If he brought home a 15 yr old gf I would be advising him to steer well clear.

My eldest ds is 22. If he brought home a 15 yr old gf I would be advising him to steer well clear.

Say again Punk?

SirChenjin

SirChenjin

I met my husband, 17 years ago when I was 16 and he was 22. I think I was quite an old 16 and he was quite a young 22. We bought a house when I was 19 and he was 25, got married when I was 25/ he was 31 and had children when we were 28/ 34. So we still did uni / work/ friends hols etc, didn't rush into kids etc.

I'm really not sure what I would do if dd brought a 22 yr oldman home at 16 though....