WWYD if your 15 year old daughter...

[MrsAtticus]

brought home a 22 year old boyfriend?
(sorry it's not actually an aibu)

What did your parents do and do you think they did the right thing?

I wonder what a 22 year old man would want in a school girl. I would not be happy at all.

I don't think statutory rape exists in the UK

What happens if an adult has sex with a child below age of consent then?

I have a 15 year old dd and a 22 year old ds.

I would be horrified at either scenario, my dss wouldn't think this
was ok and my dd would have a serious talking to.

I am an extremely laid back parent.

I was that daughter too. He was very good for me. I was very academic with few friends. He was the first person who understood me. It isn't always about sex!

Horrified.

Please be careful if you go down the trying to stop contact route. My parents did this (complete grounding and I was never to see him ever!) - I walked out the door to live with him on my 16th birthday and married him 3 weeks after my 18th birthday. We had two lovely DDs but unsurprisingly, got divorced quite quickly.

I suppose it really does depend on the situation, it's quite a significant age gap in terms of the maturity of a 15 year old. She will still be at school, and my first reaction would be why on earth would a 22 year old want to go out with a school girl.
When I was 18 I went out with a 30 year old, which no one really batted an eyelid at, because we were both Adults.
There is a huge difference in maturity between an 18 year old and a 15 year old though, not too sure what I would do about it, depends on if I felt he was taking advantage of her age and vulnerability.

It isn't always about sex!

Yes, but most of the time it is.

Not only that, but 22 and 15 are very different ages mentally. You're just at different mindsets and different points in your life.

She's a schoolgirl and he's an adult, hopefully with a job.

What does he want with a schoolgirl? (please don't answer that)

I would not be happy.

A seven year gap in a few years' time would be an entirely different matter.

I agree about the different mindsets - I was ultimately too selfish and had too much growing up to do. But it lasted nearly four years.

I was 16 and my dp was 21 , my dad was not happy ! now 9 years on and 2 dc !

I don't think statutory rape exists in the UK
Pretty certain it does...

No, it would automatically be rape if the child was under 12 but the term 'statutory rape' does not exist in the UK legal system.

I would be livid if it were my daughter as all the girls I knew who went out with much older boys at that age dropped out of school and haven't done much with their lives. May be it works for some.

Oh and the men in their 20's were the ones with no jobs and nothing better to do

I will offer a perspective from the other side. When I was 22 I was asked out by a 15 year old girl.

Before I continue, I should say that I said no. However, I do wish I'd told her my reasons why, which were as follows. First, we were at different life stages. I had finished university, had a job and wanted to settle down. Easier to do that with someone my own age who had gone though all that. Second, I was worried about what people would say.

But I was very tempted to say yes. We got on really well. I liked her. I'm also pretty sure her mother knew her daughter's feelings and wasn't at all concerned (and she was a very responsible parent). I hope she doesn't cringe when she remembers it, because I was flattered.

I will add that I'm 13 years married to someone a year older that me

I did the same thing. Fortunately I didn't sleep with the guy though.
I think it's really creepy and weird. I have a 22 year old son and I would think there was something wrong with him if he had a 15 year old girlfriend.

With older couples a 7 year gap is nothing but when one is 15 it's not on.

call the police? seriously? because that would be incredibly useful.

She is a school girl. Seven years difference doesn't matter when they are at least over 18!

It's creepy

Gave him a cuppa and made small talk before watching us drive off to the local pub in his sports car!

M friend did this but he was 21. They were married when she was 21 but at first her parents were dead against it. She is divorced now and said her parents being as they were just pushed them closer together...

I really don't know what a 22 year old man would see in a 15 year old girl.

I find it worrying and I would discourage it. If I could prove he had sex with my daughter I would contact the police.

Gave him a cuppa and made small talk before watching us drive off to the local pub in his sports car!

Your Dad waved you off to the pub? At 15 years old?

Have I led a massively sheltered life?

It would very much depend on my dd and the boyfriend tbh.

I had a 24 year old boyfriend at 16, and he was a perfect gentleman.It was a non sexual relationship, and we stayed good friends afterwards for years.

she was 21