To think it shouldn't be too difficult for a grown woman to cope with her own 3 children on a train journey?

[bluestrawhat]

Because is the reason somebody I know has given for not seeing her parents, instead expecting them to drive down or catch the train to see her when they're quite elderly and one has failing health. BTW she doesn't work and the children are in the middle of a 6 week plus holiday so no time restrictions. Do you think this scenario and the fact that the parents pander to it is a bit odd?

How old are the children?

I only have 2 children and I wouldn't want to do a long train journey on my own with them. I had to do a 3hour journey including the tube last week and I needed a holiday afterwards to recover

My parents generally travel to us and I only have 2 kids. How long is the journey?

Yep, odd I don't know how some people go about their day to day lives tbh, although judging by this they just stay in the house and do nothing

Lol... I suppose a lot depends on the age of the children. Three children under five on a train could be very hard work.

Oh, 16, 12 and 8. Money no object.

well it depends on her circumstances and her children, I guess she knows what she is capable of, and if her parents are ok with it, then it isn't really any of your business.

In theory yanbu, but without more detail can't comment for sure,

How old are the children, how long/complicated is the journey, does mum have anxiety about travel etc

If the parents are happy to do it, and not too taxing, would be easier all round if the kids have all their stuff at home.

Unless any of them have SEN, I do think that's a bit strange at those ages. The 16 & 12 YO should be old enough to do train journeys alone!

'Money no object'

how do you know, OP?

why do you care what this person does, is it a family member?

Is this about your sister?

I'm sure there are circumstances when it is actually very tricky for one person to manage 3 children onto a train. If they are all toddlers, for example. If they have lots of bags. If the parent is not in good health. etc etc.

tbh, if the parents don't want to do it, they have the choice to say sorry, it's not possible. If they choose not to say no, then I can only assume that is because they have decided it's worth it.

Don't want to give away exact locations so let's the equivalent of London to Liverpool.

At that age should be fine, independently mobile, can carry own luggage and be distracted with ds etc. bit of an adventure!

x post. well, not toddlers then.

so that leaves - doesn't want to travel on the train (how long a journey?) with 3 kids.

that's her choice. She doesn't HAVE to if she doesn't want to.

Just as the parents don't HAVE to travel to her if they don't want to.

They are choosing to. This must mean it is acceptable to them.

Which of the people involved have complained to you about the situation?

Maybe she just doesn't want to?

16, 12 and 8 sounds easy enough. They should be capable of carrying luggage and entertaining themselves.

I thought you were going to say 3 little ones! At those ages she could pack them off to her DPs on their own together!

I'm not really sure why you care but I bet we find out

Either way, it's pretty obvious she can't be bothered to make the journey and that the 16yr old and 12yr old don't want to travel to see their grandparents either. It's not like they're no old enough to go alone.

Also at that age the DCs might have lot going on like clubs that they don't want to miss. GPs can often enjoy fitting into everyday life.

YANBU that a woman should be able to travel with three older children but there might be other reasons for the GPs th do the travelling.

I would never do a long distance journey with my dd alone, I could not cope and she would not cope. I have minor SEN and she is... well.. she is a high maintenance toddler. I have not seen my grandparents for several weeks because I would not be able to manage the 3hr journey on our own.

However the 12 year old and 16 year old could actually do the journey by themselves, so in this case it doesn't really count. - Actually the 12 year old and 16 year old could surely help the mum manage the 8 year old? Are you sure they or the mother don't have any extra needs?

With the youngest 8, I would have expected it to be doable (that's about the time I started going back on trains, which I had largely abandoned since arrival of DC2).

That's assuming tickets are affordable (which you suggest they are) and there are no issues which would make the achievement of normal behaviour (ie that which does not impact adversely on other passengers) unlikely/impossible.

The issue is the parents who are elderly and one of them would struggle with this journey. The visit is at this woman's request but her parents have commitments at their home yet they're still prepared to drop everything.

I suppose my concern is mainly for the parents who I suspect feel that if it's not them making the effort to see their dd and grandchildren it won't happen but also for this woman who seems to find most things a lot of effort even though she doesn't work and has a great deal of money.

Before anyone suggests it, I don't think she suffers from depression.

It's for the GPs to decide I'm afraid. If they are your parents talk to them and say they shouldn't feel obliged to travel if they don't want to.

Well, it's up to the parents whether they decide to visit and how they balance their mobility issues with their desire to make the trip.

And quite a different question from achievable to of train travel with DC.