to expect dh to put the dc to bed every night?

[reallyshakenup]

I am knackered after spending all day every day with the dcs during the school holidays. Was up at 7am with them, have taken them to the park, played with them, made their breakfast/lunch/dinner/snacks, hoovered, done the washing and ironing, as well as a million other drudge tasks and have to leave the house with the dcs in 30 mins to collect dh from the station and bring home. I will then cook a dinner for dh and me, wash up and give the dcs a bath (its bath night). It is my 'turn' (we do alternate nights) to put the dcs to bed so may have an hour to relax in front of the telly before collapsing into bed later to get up and do it all again tomorrow morning.

I am getting really pissed off DH gets in from work, eats a lovely meal prepared by me and then gets to relax for the rest of the evening. Bed time is a stressful event in my house as the dcs act up and it can take ages getting them settled. I just want a break after spending all day with them and would love to tell DH that it is 'his' job during the school hoidays to put them to bed every night as I am worn down with fulltime childcare. (I work term times only).

I know he has been at work all day but at least he gets tea breaks, lunchbreaks and time when he isnt dealing with squabbling children and constant cleaning and cooking! AIBU to ask him to do bedtime everynight for the remaining 3 weeks school holiday?

Yes, he should do bedtime in term time and school holidays.

Yanbu! He doesn't get to see them much so I'm sure the dc will love it too. Hopefully he will agree - can't see how he can argue with it really. You do need some child free time every evening with those long days.

Do less cleaning and cooking - that could be shared with DH at the weekends.
Bath is part of bedtime, so every other night DH could do that too, giving you longer to rest.
YWBabitU to ask him to do it every night. What happens at weekends in the holidays?

Obviously all cooking can't be left until the weekend...I meant just cleaning.

Why don't you both do bathtime/bedtime together? Might be quicker and possibly even quite nice.

NO! Being at work is a bloody break compared to being a full time mom at home.

My partner had a day in my shoes and now when he comes in from work he takes over (usually on an hour before bedtime anyway).

Being a mom is also a job regardless of whether we are paid for it or not.

cardibach we take turns at weekends to put the dcs to bed. DH did it last night hence why it's my turn tonight. I just feel knackered and emotionally drained after spending all day with them. I love the dcs but after an almost 12 hour day with them I just want a break.

I'm not going to comment upon how you split the "drudge" as IMO it should be split equally. But look, I'm a single parent so do it all anyway. I don't find it all that stressful and I've been on my own since they were 5 and 2. Do you have ridiculously high standards? I've changed my standards considerably since being alone.

For example, I don't spend all day tidying, cleaning etc. they only mess it up again! I only cook once too.

YANBU. My DH puts DC to bed every night. He does bath time, too. He thinks of it as his quality time with the DC.

But do you do alternate nights in the week too? Agree with Remus - do it together for speed/comradeship. And definitely do less cleaning.

I'm a lone parent too, Llaregub! Perhaps that gives a different perspective...

I think it should be take turns with bedtime throughout the week too.

Also, how about twice a week...say Tuesday and Friday night....he is in charge of dinner.....be that cooking or a lovely Chinese take away picked up on the way home :-)

Can't he cook dinner if you're doing bedtime? And vice versa.

I work fulltime, but term time only . In term time , we share bedtime, one does the bath and the other the stories, then we swap the next night. However this holiday dh has taken it upon himself to do all bedtimes!! I do pop up to do stories, as I would miss that, but if I am shattered or fancy going for run, he just does it and understands why it is needed.

he is fab.

Could you just stay downstairs or remove yourself from the house so your dh has no choice!! Have you asked him to do all bedtimes??

We tried doing it together but the dcs got all worked up and over excited which made it even more stressful.

I know it shouldn't be stressful - brush teeth, read bedtime book, tuck them in but after a whole day of it I literally just want a break. Knowing dh is sat downstairs with a beer relaxing while I am still on duty as it were pisses me off. If I was a lone parent then of course I would have to just get on with it but what's the point of having a partner if they don't pull their weight?

To the poster who said about cooking once a day, even if you don't "cook" there's still getting breakfast, making a sandwich, getting multiple drinks, peeling bananas etc. My dcs are young so I have to do practically everything for them

How many dcs do you have? Could you take one each? Maybe that way bedtime might be a bit less drawn out and stressful and you can both sit down more quickly.

Why can't he make his own way home from the station?

I eat with the dcs and put a portion of dinner in the oven for dh, or he gets his own when he comes home .... Why are you cooking 2 dinners?

Yanbu

Yeah don't cook twice cook something that can be reheated.

When I lived with my exH I was a SAHM. When he came home I would tell him if I had plans for the evening which meant that I could not put the boys to bed. Then I'd go for a run or whatever it was. If he has a problem with this then your relationship has bigger problems.

One of us puts the dcs to bed and the other cooks dinner. I normally just ask which he would rather do and most the time he chooses to cook dinner, I don't mind which I do so works for us!

Or do less ironing during the day (presume kids are amusing themselves while you iron so you could take half an hour with a cuppa and a book) and announce that you'll do the ironing while he does the kids' bedtime.

I never get the suggestions to do it together - can't see how it saves time at all unless you do separate children concurrently, which isn't really together, and mine would hate as they all like to listen to each others stories...

I am a SAHM and do all bedtimes in the holidays - DH does 2 a week in term, because I teach 2 evening classes and am therefore at work 2 nights a week... I love the idea DH should come home and do all bedtimes because I've already done 13 straight hours of childcare by bedtime, but tbh the only way I could make that fly would be to go out. The kids would also not be co-operative as they prefer me doing bedtime because I read them each a story and DH just reads 1 between them

Actually I really need to do something to improve my fitness, maybe I will start going on an evening walk or bike ride every other evening... It isn't a bad idea OP - my DH would, I think, be perfectly accommodating about doing bedtime if I were going out, but asking him to do it while I rest would be making too much of a discussion point about who has had the harder day, or something...

Take up going for an evening walk, is my vote.

How old are the kids?

Cereal for breakfast

Sandwiches for lunch

Cook one dinner and reheat it for DH when he comes home