to be shocked at 4 year old attacking a little bird and her mum not doing anything

[littleSpud]

I was at my friends the other day and my dd (5) and friends dd (4) were playing in the garden

my dd came running in really distressed saying is hurting a bird!!! please come and stop her!! I went out to find friends dd chasing this poor little creature around whacking it with a tennis raquet, I took it out of her hands and said (feebly, as I daren't tell her off as its Not The Done Thing in my circle of mates ) awww please don't hurt the bird! I think the poor little thing might have been injured to start with as it clearly couldn't fly off :(

well her mum did not give a shit and barely even told her off, I made my excuses to leave just after that and I don't think I want to go there for a while tbh :(

i think her dd is a spoilt spiteful little sod anyway (she bullies and dominates my dd the moment my back is turned) but I think twatting a living creature with a blunt object goes beyond the normal realm of four year old naughtiness. and I am disappointed in her mum.

(she also has pet rabbits, I fear for them tbh )

Gross. My DS had a 'friend' like this, horrid little Damian he is. We don't socialise anymore. He split my DS's head open - that was the last straw. The mum is a total drip.

Perhaps don't invite them round again, I wouldn't consider a parent who behaved like that to be a valued friend

I would have lost it at the mother.

Hurting animals is one of the few things that makes me see red.

I don't think I could have kept my cool tbh

Oh my God that is awful. Cut ties!

and there were no consequences? That child, and many who encounter her, is going to have a very bleak future indeed if things don't change. I'd be keeping my DC far, far away

I think I probably would have told the child off, done thing or not. I was horrified when my 3-year-old niece chased and kicked her pet rabbit - I told her firmly that it was wrong but my SIL just laughed. What sort of message does that send? I fear my niece may turn out spoilt and spiteful too.

Horrific. I can't get my head round the child wanting to do this and her mother not doing anything to stop her. Very upsetting for you and your daughter, and as others have said, have nothing more to do with them.

yes her mum sort of "laughingly" told her off

sort of oooooh XXXXX dont do that haha oh my god what is she like eh

wtf. fucking hell if any of my dc had done that I would have absolutely hit the roof at them, and also been absolutely mortified. But I don't think my dc would ever WANT to hurt a living creature, they like them, and know its very wrong :(

That's horrible-I really would drop them. I was poor at discipline but I would have been furious if my kids had done that.
They wouldn't have dreamed of it anyway- they might misbehave but neither of them would be so cruel. That little girl really has problems.

That's awful. I would have had to say something to the mum. I couldn't stay friends with them.

That's horrible. My kids wouldn't leave their bedroom fir a month if I ever caught them doing anything like that. Luckily mine wouldn't

I would not see these people again. I could not be friends with someone who did nothing while her dd hurt an innocent animal on purpose and appeared to enjoy it

How awful. I would blame the mother as her attitude is rubbing off on her dd. How would she feel if someone started whacking her daughter around with a bat.

I couldn't be seeing either of them again.

Life's too short!

I'd have hit the roof with both of them and left.

I'm sure you did any way but please make sure your little girl knows she was 100% in the right here and she did absolutely the right thing.

Yanbu. Thats shocking. Very few things would make me want to influence dcs friendships, but hurting a living thing (person or animal) would definitly make me dubious of having them around, or letting them round theirs. I probably would have been a pussy too though and not actually said anything at the time, but worry for days after :(

Well, for starters at 4, children don't really understand the concept of death or cruelty beyond "don't do it, it's bad". They don't understand empathy and are still in the cause and effect stage. So I wouldn't write off the 4 year old as having issues beyond lack of discipline if this is a one off.

If it isn't a one off example of her being cruel, I'd file a report on potential abuse going on. Harming animals is a legit sign of something deeper going on. Children will act out their anger and aggression in safe ways if they're upset or being hurt themselves.

That aside, the mother most definitely should have cracked down on her for that to let her know that it isn't ok to hurt creatures. A child can only be as good as they're allowed to be, and she hasn't been taught not to hurt animals.

I saw the same thing this weekend!

Horrid kid at camping pulling feathers from chickens and chasing and hitting baby ducks. Numerous signs asking kids not to chase them. He was about 10!

Mum was a fucking idiot, the second time I saw him I tore a strip off him, dad the comes over to my tent to tell me how distressed his wife is that I've upset their kid who is hysterical.

Yes wanky parents at Henry's campsite this weekend, your kid is AWFUL

I tell off strangers' children for chasing pigeons. That child should be grateful that I was nowhere near when the poor bird was being pelted with the tennis racket .

Jesus, I'm not sure I could have held my tongue

People never cease to amaze me. What kind of mother could ignore that kind of behaviour. I wouldn't want that child and her mother anyway near my child after witnessing that, if the mother wants to know why you could perhaps tell her that your daughter loves all creatures and was traumatized at the sight of a defenceless little bird being beaten by her four year old. It's unnatural and unacceptable behaviour from a child but the route of it all is so obviously from the mother.

YADNBU.

I have a four year old and she would be in serious trouble for that. I certainly wouldn't have them over again.

She's teaching her daughter nothing. Poor bird hope it was Ok in the end.

What a vile display from the child and its mother . What happened to the little bird - please tell me you didn't leave it there for the dreadful child to have another go at it?

My mum still tells the story of a child she knew who once stamped on ducklings, killing two of them. He was a child who had come from a troubled background and by all accounts this was indicative of behaviour he had exhibited before. It had gone unstopped by parents and he was eventually taken into care by SS. Lots of neglect, and other violent incidents by the time he was removed from the home.

That child is now in prison, convicted of a violent triple murder.

Extreme? Yes. Unique? No. It is well known that in the backgrounds of many violent offenders that there is a history of abuse towards animals. But aside from the potential for future behaviours, what on earth goes through someone's head to make them think that this is a laughable incident?! Anything like this needs to be stopped immediately. And yes, I would cut the family out of my child's life. I would not want my DCs to get the impression that was normal or acceptable.

Dreadful behaviour , animal cruelty in young children should not be ignored.

I'd swerve the Mother and avoid any gatherings, they sound awful.