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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not go to this 'event'- SIL being a twat

135 replies

Amadeupname · 11/08/2014 16:47

NC.

DP's brother got married three years ago. We don't have much to do with them apart from (approximately) monthly phone calls and we'll drop in if we're in their area and vice versa. We live about 50 miles apart.

They came over at the weekend and we randomly for another reason had some old photo albums out when they turned up. So we were looking through their wedding pictures and suddenly SIL got really funny with me. She didn't say anything but went all quiet and stopped looking and was really 'off' with me when I asked her if she wanted a drink, about work etc.

Later that night BIL called to say thanks for a nice afternoon and to apologise for SIL's mood. I said 'I hope it wasn't anything I'd done'. He said 'No, no, you know just one of those things'. I heard her in the background saying 'It was not one of those things' and she took the phone off him and basically had a massive go at me about how I'd ruined her wedding because (a) I'd worn trousers and (b) I'd worn black and white.

I didn't think she was particularly Bridezilla but maybe she was actually. I didn't say a word during the phone call (she just ranted at me) because I'm a grown woman and I'm not going to have a slanging match over the phone with another grown woman over what I chose to wear one day two years ago.

Anyway, SIL has arranged a charity BBQ thing near her house which we said we'd go to ages ago for moral support even though it's massively out of our way. I've now told DP I won't be going but he can go without me if he wants. He says I'm BU. I say I'm not. Am I?

OP posts:
VSeth · 12/08/2014 23:04

My friend came to our wedding wearing the cream/off white dress that she actually got married in. I still talk to her and never accused her of ruining my wedding. Even though she looks like a bride substitute in the wedding album.

Yanbu

thegreylady · 12/08/2014 23:10

My dil wore white to my dd's wedding. As far as I know dd wasn't bothered in the slightest :)

Blondieminx · 12/08/2014 23:18

Go to the BBQ; if you don't go you will look sulky and your DP will be disappointed.

But please wear your white trousers/black top and be icily polite. Enquire about her health where you'll be overheard "is everything ok now, when we chatted in the week you sounded so stressed out?"

Then leave her to seethe while you get more wine! Grin

prettybird · 13/08/2014 10:35

My MIL took the hump about a beautiful, large white feathery hat that one of our guests wore to our wedding , "That's a 'mother of the bride' hatHmm" My mum wasn't wearing a hat as she didn't like them

It was absolutely and totally the perfect hat for our friend to wear - suited her character to a T. :)

However, We then realised that having something to complain about meant that our wedding was now perfect for MIL, as she needs something to moan about at all times Grin (it was perfect in every other way even if we say so ourselves Wink)

Maybe your SIL is a moaning minny and needed something to focus her displeasure on. She sounds a loon.

If it would upset your dh if you don't go and it won't put you out too much, I'd go to the BBQ and be the bigger person - more to keep the peace with your dh and his brother (I presume your BIL is sane OK). It'll irritate the hell out of her if you don't rise to the bait especially if you wear a similar outfit Grin

4seasons · 13/08/2014 11:15

Dear god, she sounds too precious for words ! Go to the BBQ. It'll keep your DH happy and show him you are the bigger person. Eat plenty, laugh plenty and drink plenty. In short have a great time in spite of this ridiculous woman . Has she really got nothing more important to worry about ? Some people amaze me with their pettiness. And wear what the hell you like but make a real effort to look amazing . That'll really give her a poke in the eye .

frostyfingers · 13/08/2014 12:09

Sounds to me like she's looking for a "fight" somehow. Having initially thought to myself if that were me I wouldn't go, I've changed my mind. Go, try and enjoy it, and by being there and being cheerful you'll completely minimise the whole thing. A sort of "it's all too trivial to even think about" attitude. I bet you'll piss her off a great deal more by going than not going......

whiteblossom · 13/08/2014 12:22

please please go as a chicken and report back Grin

Simplesusan · 13/08/2014 12:28

I would do as another poster said.

Go in a huge satin wedding dress complete with veil and tiara.

Stopmithering · 13/08/2014 13:08

SIL doesn't like you.
Until now, she hasn't had a valid reason to dislike you publicly.
Being annoyed about wedding outfit is just a convenient way for her to validly dislike you, in her eyes.

Charlesroi · 13/08/2014 17:44

I wouldn't go and I'd make an urgent appointment type excuse, but I'd donate to the charity via justgiving. Your SIL is a silly, vain woman!

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