AIBU to let my toddler wear/go out in stained clothes?

[MagicMojito]

I'm just having a big sort out of dd1s wardrobe, almost all of her "everyday" wear tops/dresses have some sort of stain or mark on them. They all still fit and are in (apart from the stains) good condition.

Dd really doesn't care about looking presentable and neat, when she starts to notice or feel self concious(sp?) about it, then obviously i'll have to rethink things.

So aibu to just dress her in clean but stained clothes? Would you judge a parent who did this as lazy/neglectful?

I wouldn't judge at all. I have 4 DSs and, during their toddler years, there was rarely an item of clothing that didn't have paint/food/felt tip/grass/whatever stains after only a few wears. If I replaced everything, I'd be bankrupt by now

Not me! Stained and poor clothing are relegated to the drawer marked "mud"

Clothes are not that expensive, you know? And you can use stain remover spray before popping them in the wash.

I'm honestly not sure that my dd age 3 has any items of clothing that don't have a stain or mark somewhere on them! Like Boysies I'd be bankrupt too if I replaced everything that got stained. YADNBU.

I cant really think of any clothes in facts which aren't stained in some way. No fun running around a park in clothes you can't get mucky! I. Fact last week I watched a mum berate her child for getting grass on her clothes, it was ridiculous.

Not at all, I do it too! She has different categories of clothes, she goes to nursery/park/day at home in stained stuff, anything new and not stained is saved for 'best' (at which point it usually gets stained and relegated to everyday!).

In fact, I don't bother changing her if she spills something unless it's really bad! She's currently in a top with drops of orange juice round the neck and shoulder where her lunchtime orange squirted, and has a dirty mark on one knee from playing out in the garden earlier.

On a side note, if you can hang her things outside in the sun to dry after washing, some stains will come out, I've had success with getting poo and tomato stains out that way.

Mind, you I wouldn't take them to the shops or Out socially looking like that

I wouldn't judge either, mine would rather wear anything that didn't get marks within seconds of putting on. They take after me

That's another thing, it would cost an absolute FORTUNE to go out and buy it all again like for like. We are not on the breadline exactly although not far off it I just resent buying more clothes for no other reason than for my 2year old to look slightly less messy

Glad I'm not alone so far!

I let my children play wherever and however they want. I actually encourage them to get dirty. It is good for the immune system.

But they have very few clothes with stains precisely because I alway treat the fresh stains with stain remover.

Depends what it is. If it's a patterned t shirt with a barely noticeable stain then fine. But if it's a plain white top with a huge brown or orange stain then it'll have to go. Are you using decent washing detergent directly on the stains soon after they are made?

For a DD - have you considered getting crafty (in both senses of the word) & customizing clothes to hide the stain? Eg sew on a ribbon, appliqué a flower on or combine a bit from one thing as a decorative patch onto eg jeans?

Life's too short to be changing DD and treating her clothes with stain remover every time she gets dirty. I do use stain remover before I put the clothes in the wash, but often by the time the stain is dry it's too late.

I wouldn't judge in the slightest. Anyway I'd probably assume the mark had happened that day.

Yes in theory you can use stain remover but it doesn't always work and it isn't always practical to use it straight away. And sometimes I forget about treating dirty clothes as I'm busy doing something else and the stain sets.

Life's too short to prioritise stain removal.

Hah cross posted Crohnically!

In future wash the stain out before it sets. Virtually all stains come out if washed in cold water as washing up liquid and scrub stain out. Then in machine as usual

Mine have been known to sit in muddy puddles in white jeans and have purple blackberries stains on white shirts but all stains have come out. I don't think in have ever thrown anything away as it had a stain

Unless they look like what social services would consider a 'cause for concern' I think it's all good. Team slightly stained but clean clothes with an obviously otherwise clean and happy child and you've got yourself a bit of a devil may care / carefree look going on.

I wouldn't judge you- surprisingly my DS doesn't have stains on his clothes, but they always end up with holes and tears in them after about a fortnight.

I wouldn't take hime out for a meal or to a wedding in holey jeans and a mucky top, but when he's out and about he's jumping in puddles, rolling all over the place and climbing etc. what's the point in having pristine clothes to do all that in?

halfeatenpizza what's not that expensive for you can be the difference between putting money on the metre or not for some people. It's all relative really isn't it?
I'm not trying to be snippy with you. It just kind of grates when people decide what is/isn't affordable for everyone.

Good tip about hanging washing out to remove stains. I'm working on being more savvy stain removal/prevention wise but that doesn't solve the problem of about 20odd stained outfits hanging in the wardrobe

Thanks for replies so far folks! Very helpful reading.

I wouldn't judge you, nor would I be washing stained clothes there and then unless it happened to be the day I was doing the laundry - I'm not about to stick on a wash just for one stained child's T shirt! And by the time I do do the laundry I've quite often forgotten the stain was there. Christ, life's too short for that malarky, surely!

Of course I wouldn't judge, actually I am far more likely to 'judge' someone who spends loads of money and effort in dressing their children. I can remember when I helped in a playgroup and in irate mother berated me (a volunteer ) as her daughter had got paint on some expensive designer top. We actually had to spell out 'please do not send your children to playgroup in designer clothes or shoes'. The same parents claimed they were too hard up to support the fund raising jumble sales etc .

You show me a parent that doesn't have a toddler that stains all their clothes and I'll show you a liar. :)

I like to think that anyone seeing my DS in stained clothes will assume that they were clean when they were put on but that he'd picked up a stain somehow that day.

For me, it depends on the event. I wouldn't judge, no.

I treat the stains before putting them in the washing machines. Not all go, so these (mostly t-shirts) are used as pyjamas. Any other ones go in the bin. A child picks up the habits which we parents teach them. If you teach them to be sloppy, this is precisely what they will be. My little one amazed me today when he went up to his friend and wiped his nose with a tissues. He is only a toddler!

We live rurally in Scotland and DC play in puddles, mud, alongside dogs etc. and their clothes aren't stained. Yes they get absolutely filthy but aren't stained