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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to let my toddler wear/go out in stained clothes?

88 replies

MagicMojito · 11/08/2014 15:34

I'm just having a big sort out of dd1s wardrobe, almost all of her "everyday" wear tops/dresses have some sort of stain or mark on them. They all still fit and are in (apart from the stains) good condition.

Dd really doesn't care about looking presentable and neat, when she starts to notice or feel self concious(sp?) about it, then obviously i'll have to rethink things.

So aibu to just dress her in clean but stained clothes? Would you judge a parent who did this as lazy/neglectful?

OP posts:

RiverTam · 11/08/2014 16:41

no, I'm not suggesting that. I'm saying that I don't think that not dashing off to remove stains the second they happen is teaching my child a bad habit or to be sloppy. If it's teaching her anything at all, it's that it doesn't matter. Which, when you're a toddler, it doesn't. To me, at any rate.

What I have 'learnt' from my mum: she did 3/4 loads of laundry every weekend. That was it. I do 3/4 loads of laundry every weekend. That's it. She didn't rush to put on a wash if something got stained. Nor do I.

Original poster

MagicMojito · 11/08/2014 16:41

Ironing... Erm... No.

Life really IS too short for that :)

I realise that I'm sounding pretty layed back lazy but my house is clean and mostly tidy. I home make almost all meals and everyone always comments on dds wonderful manners. I just have poor laundry skills and have better things to do such as mumsnet

OP posts:

Ladyofthehouse · 11/08/2014 16:43

I wouldn't have a problem at all.....and my two do still wear clothes that are stained. It's pretty wasteful to buy new clothes just because of a stain....if they fit and are clean and they are happy in them then why pay out more money?

HalfEatenPizza · 11/08/2014 16:44

I don't rush!!! I have also mentioned this at least twice already. Just spray stains whilst sorting out washing before loading. That's it!

TheFairyCaravan · 11/08/2014 16:50

I agree with you HalfEatenPizza.

I never understand these threads. Its okay not to sort laundry, treat stains or iron. But god forbid if you do any of those things, you are automatically teaching your DC appearance matters more than anything else and they aren't having any fun! Its bollocks!

Whiskwarrior · 11/08/2014 16:50

Ooooh, I have a tip for tomato stains (and the like):

Hang out in strong sunlight for as long as it takes for the sun to bleach the stain out - I've been doing this since DD was little (she's now 12) and it bloody works!

I've been known to put stuff out on the washing line in the middle of winter if there's been a bright sunny day or two .

DISCLAIMER: do not attempt to remove stains from children using this method. Only to be used on cloth.

WanderingTrolley1 · 11/08/2014 16:50

Quite a lot of my 18 month old's clothes are stained.

As long as they've been washed, he wears them. Obviously, if going somewhere special, he wears his better clothes.

magentastardust · 11/08/2014 16:52

That was me HalfEatenPizza I just read your post as " well if you all just took 2-3 mins out to sort out your washing you wouldn't have stained clothes" which just isn't the case for me, I do that! I do think my lack of sun on line drying is my downfall!

I however don't agree with the oh poor clean children line either- my children are encouraged to keep clean (and I admit in the past I did used to be quite fussy around them but I like to think I have chilled out about that now), I don't think it is a bad thing to teach children that looking clean and presentable is a good thing. It doesn't mean that they can't have fun or don't get in a mess now and again, and they of course know there are a lot more important things in the world than looking nice. It is striking a balance I guess...

bakingaddict · 11/08/2014 16:53

Depends doesnt it. If its a small stain around the neck or on the cuffs or on trouser legs then I think its acceptable but great big stains I personally wouldnt put my kids in those kind of clothes. I would keep them as around the house clothes for doing crafts and playing in the garden. I often see kids at my DS school with grey white shirts and loads of washed out food stains and I cant help but feel a bit sorry for them. Not saying you would send your kids to school like that though OP

magentastardust · 11/08/2014 16:54

Right Whiskwarrior I am moving to somewhere much more exotic and sunny or buying all black clothes!

drudgetrudy · 11/08/2014 16:55

ACE bleach-the most effective thing-even for old stains,
If the stains don't come out I would use the clothes only for playing-not to go out and about.

Whiskwarrior · 11/08/2014 16:57

magenta

It even works in sunny old England, honestly. I grew up in Birmingham (exotic!) and only left there a year ago so if it works there it will work anywhere.

Original poster

MagicMojito · 11/08/2014 16:57

halfeaten I'm ignoreing the comment about you teaching your dc good hygene as I don't believe there is any malice in what your saying although it comes across that way written down :)
what spray do you use by the way?

OP posts:

magentastardust · 11/08/2014 16:58

I am in grey North East Scotland Whisk !

TheFairyCaravan · 11/08/2014 16:59

People don't realise that you need to treat the front and the back of the stain for effective removal.

Whiskwarrior · 11/08/2014 17:01

Oh, crikey, magenta. Then you may well have a problem there.

I have no further advice for you. My condolences

magentastardust · 11/08/2014 17:07

Its okay Whisk the upside is that everyone has their jackets on most of time so I can wear my pasta sauce stained clothes underneath to my hearts content.

DaisyFlowerChain · 11/08/2014 17:09

Not keen on stained clothes so did tend to throw away or use as a night top but most things washed fine and I naturally prefer darker clothes anyway.

Having got a friend who doesn't iron, it looks far more scruffy than a small stain.

RonaldMcDonald · 11/08/2014 17:11

toddlers are made for stains

yanbu

dixiechick1975 · 11/08/2014 17:20

Am I the only mum to have made dd wear a tabard or apron. Made out of that oilcloth type material - sure she one one until school age.

Most stains come out with a soak in vanish oxy.

magentastardust · 11/08/2014 17:22

No dixiechick I do too-whilst they are eating at the table. Would just look plain odd though running around the park or at the childminders in a tabard though surely?

BlackbirdOnTheWire · 11/08/2014 17:28

Vanish Gold gets most stains out. Obviously not even that works if you have clothes sitting untreated/unwashed in a laundry basket for a fortnight, but if you get into the habit of checking over DD's clothes when you take them off her and bunging them into a bucket of stain remover if stained, they can then sit in that during the evening and go in the machine when you go to bed.

Having said that, absolutely nothing will get Nursery Paint out of the DC's clothes. Goodness only knows what they use there. None of the parents have found a solution and everything ends up with these weird purple stains. I wouldn't dream of sending DS to nursery in anything but stained clothes now! We have Best Clothes, Everyday Clothes, Walks in the Woods Clothes and Nursery Clothes. The final category, after which they go in the bin, is Granny's House clothes. This is when the clothes get stained with permanent marker, brio and ripped to shreds...

halfdrunkcoffee · 11/08/2014 17:46

Mine are often in stained clothes. After about five minutes they're usually covered in mud and food anyway. Unless you're going somewhere smart like a wedding or christening I wouldn't worry.

flappityfanjos · 11/08/2014 18:35

I never gave much of a shit about stains when DD was a toddler. I mean, there were really scruffy tops I'd use more for round the house/garden/doing crafts in, and nicer tops I'd put her in for going to friends' houses, but even for the latter I wouldn't have been fretting if there'd been a small mark on it. Toddlers don't care how they look, food gets everywhere at every mealtime... If anyone else wants to worry about it then fine, but I'm afraid I didn't!

VixStarr · 11/08/2014 18:46

Question : I can't use stain remover as it really flares up both of my son's skin and i have tried different brands. Other than the sun/ a really good pre-soak if the incident happens at home does anyone know of a good alternative to stain remover?

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