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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to let my toddler wear/go out in stained clothes?

88 replies

MagicMojito · 11/08/2014 15:34

I'm just having a big sort out of dd1s wardrobe, almost all of her "everyday" wear tops/dresses have some sort of stain or mark on them. They all still fit and are in (apart from the stains) good condition.

Dd really doesn't care about looking presentable and neat, when she starts to notice or feel self concious(sp?) about it, then obviously i'll have to rethink things.

So aibu to just dress her in clean but stained clothes? Would you judge a parent who did this as lazy/neglectful?

OP posts:

InSummer · 11/08/2014 16:14

I think as long as clothes are clean and fit properly, stains don't matter. Especially play clothes.

magentastardust · 11/08/2014 16:15

Patterned clothes are the way to go -I have a couple of tops or dresses of toddler dd's that are patterned and the odd droplets or juice/pen/bolognaise sauce that I haven't managed to get out with stain remover aren't noticeable. We are in Scotland and although we have had a recent good few weeks of sun we very rarely get full on sunshine for drying clothes in -makes such a difference when the sun bleaches the stains out. I love washing my white when I go abroad-its a novelty watching the stains disappear!
I have been guilty of being too careful with my childrens clothes-and fuss over them being careful playing in the park or whilst eating so majority of our clothes are pretty pristine, however my childminder is a kids should be climbing, making mudpies and rolling round grass type of lady (and the kids have a ball and adore her) so we do have a few items that have been stained through play and I continue to put them in as long as it isn't really noticeable as I couldn't afford to replace the clothes every week.

RiverTam · 11/08/2014 16:16

food (pasta sauce, anything with tumeric in it), pens, paint, berry juice, can all stain, so not sure why you're all about it.

HalfEaten - well, my child will be picking up the habit that Mummy has frankly better things to do than waste water, electricity and time doing unnecessary loads of washing because she's stained something, and if she's that fussy about her clothes she needs to learn to be neater. Or, it really doesn't matter when you're 2/3/4 and in a mess the whole time, and anyone who judges you for it is narrow-minded and therefore to be ignored.

TheTerribleBaroness · 11/08/2014 16:17

DS only ever had one tshirt I couldn't get the stain out of. And that was from the free sample of tomato soup they were handing out in the supermarket. After seeing what it did to his clothes I resolved never to buy it.

Would I judge you? I'd think you weren't too hot on housework, but wouldn't actually care. I think it's more that I'd notice than judge.

magentastardust · 11/08/2014 16:18

Poppy -what am I doing wrong-I struggle with removing the odd grass stains and red food/bolognaise stains on whites. I use vanish and wash on higher temp if stains are bad. Washing machine is getting on a bit mind?

Original poster

MagicMojito · 11/08/2014 16:18

Most stains and messes happen whilst we are out so not always possible to treat them straight away.

Tbf I'm of the same school of thought as a few other posters that life is too short to be worried about it, but I will consider adapting to a new way of stain free life with some of your great little tips, so thanks!

purpleroxy almost all dds clothes are patterned. I would never dream of putting her in white! Surely that's just begging for trouble

OP posts:

TheTerribleBaroness · 11/08/2014 16:20

Tumeric comes out. If it didn't even I'd look filthy.

Pyjamaramadrama · 11/08/2014 16:23

When ds was a toddler I kept stained clothes for nursery. They constantly got wrecked from paint, felt tip, food. Sometimes it just wouldn't come out.

I wouldn't take him shopping or visiting or for a meal in stained clothes. But nursery and the park fine imo.

HalfEatenPizza · 11/08/2014 16:24

Ok, no need to get defensive. Why is it always on these threads that cleanliness is associated with waste of time and resources and dirtiness with open-mindedness and better things to do? Everyone washes their clothes, don't they? I just spend 2-3 extra minutes sorting through them and treating the stained ones. Not a massive amount of time, given the amount of time spent on mumsnet, it is actually a tiny amount of time.

I will never judge people and their clothes, because I don't notice these things on others. But I do notice them on myself and my kids and I care about how I present myself and my kids in regards to cleanliness/ironing etc. I am pretty sure I picked it up from my mother.

RiverTam · 11/08/2014 16:25

oh, does it? Hasn't come out of my oilcloth tablecloth .

mag - are you using biological washing powder, that should help.

melissa83 · 11/08/2014 16:25

Your more likely to get judged sending children places in pristine clothes only good for posing about and then the children cant join in.

Nanny0gg · 11/08/2014 16:27

Don't wash on high temperatures, you're setting the stain.

As soon as something is stained I would soak in cold water (use Vanish or similar). If a white t-shirt and a tomato-type stain I would use a mild solution of bleach.

And leave soaking till you do a wash.

And keep one outfit for 'best'!

cardamomginger · 11/08/2014 16:27

YANBU. Who cares? He's 2.

ElPolloDiabolo · 11/08/2014 16:27

I wouldn't judge. 2yo DS2 has eczema so we can only use (useless) non bio and not stain removers. He also has a serious grub, grot and muck habit.

Halfeaten I expect you disapprove of children in unironed clothes too, right?

RiverTam · 11/08/2014 16:28

not defensive at all, you're the one suggesting that I'm somehow 'teaching' my child bad habits and to be 'sloppy'. Rubbish. And yes, she is more the capable to taking a tissue out of the box and blowing her nose if she can be bothered.

HalfEatenPizza · 11/08/2014 16:29

OP, only because you said you are interested in tips - this is my tip for you: ASDA Pre-Wash Oxy Stain Remover is the best I have tried so far. As I said - I spray generously over the stain just before putting in the washing machine. groceries.asda.com/asda-webstore/landing/home.shtml#/product/910000861369

ElPolloDiabolo · 11/08/2014 16:29

XPost - yes you do!

RiverTam · 11/08/2014 16:29

leave soaking? But I only do laundry at the weekend, I could be leaving something to soak for days!

Original poster

MagicMojito · 11/08/2014 16:29

I also use vanish. Doesn't really live upto its name ime, but I'm obviously doing something wrong

Well it seems I'm in good company re the stained clothes camp but I will do my best to be more pro active with regards to removal. Thanks again.

OP posts:

magentastardust · 11/08/2014 16:33

Okay I feel like a washing dunce-I think that I maybe doing that then-setting the stain!

HalfEatenPizza-but your last post is a bit judgy no? Telling us how it only takes 2-3 minutes extra to have non stained clothes. Why didn't I think of trying to remove stains from clothes? As it happens ,I do and some just don't come out (or see above I haven't been able to get them out!). I don't think that it isn't that people can't be arsed to wash their kids clothes?

NeedsAsockamnesty · 11/08/2014 16:35

I always feel a bit sad for children who grow up being taught that appearances matter more than anything and that things are disposable and only matter as long as they enhance your image.

Of course it's ok op yanbu

HalfEatenPizza · 11/08/2014 16:35

ElPolloDiabolo, I already pointed out above that I don't notice or care for that matter what other people/children wear. I just care what me and my family wear.

RiverTam, are you suggesting that kids don't pick up habits from their parents? Really? It is not my fault that yours happen to be something you need to feel defensive of. I don't feel defensive that I am in the minority and care about stains/ironing etc. Why do you?

Have look at this - kids just soak off us everything - the good, the bad and the ugly. Like it or not...

SolidGoldBrass · 11/08/2014 16:38

Wouldn't bother me in the least. I'd be more likely to be concerned about children whose clothes were always perfect, particularly if their parents were forever flapping after them and forbidding them to do things in case their clothes got spoilt.
But then I think people who are obsessed with cleaning are either really boring or have OCD issues. It's particularly grim if they make a big deal out of keeping little girls stain-free, too - way to go, teaching them that nothing is more important than looking 'nice'...

HalfEatenPizza · 11/08/2014 16:40

How is sharing my experience/tips judgy???
I don't get it...

And why feel sad for children who are tought good hygene? I don't get that either... My toddler is just like any of yours - it is just at the start of the day that I try to start him off with unstained clothes. He is not forbidden any activities. He is encouraged to get dirty, as I said before. Because I know I have stain remover and a washing machine which do the hard work for me.

Really... just give up...

BornOfFrustration · 11/08/2014 16:40

YANBU, until I worked out that line drying bleached stains DD didn't have a single top without strawberry stains down the front.

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