To hate charity bag packers at supermarket checkout

[DameEdnasBridesmaid]

I want to pack my own bag.
I want to choose who I give my charity donations to not feel obliged.
I think they are a bloody nuisance.

The vast majority of people pay with cards. All you have to say really is that you have no change and would rather pack your own bag.

Surely no one gets the guilts from not giving 50p to a brownie or scout.

You've not said what things? You said that most people don't notice an extra penny on items. And you're saying people shouldn't mind on that account.

So yes, actually, you did say those things. Unless you're referring to a post further back?

I really don't get why this is such a big issue to you.

Some people are glad of the help and donate.
Some people don't care for the help, but donate.
Some people say no thanks.
Some people are rude and say no rudely.
Some packers are pushy.

Surely, none of it is so huge an issue that you need to start claiming it's implausible anyone can't afford a penny?

All our packers are adults-mostly older women. There aren't enough of them to man every till so people can use tills without a packing presence so that they don't feel imposed on. Our most generous donors are the elderly who are often aware of our service which would be unaffordable to many if they had to access it privately.

I fail to see what we're doing wrong here.

Can't really see what people are bothered about tbh. If you're not interested in your bags being packed just say 'no thank you' and go about your day.

I get that people get precious about their packing methods (my Mum would rather be burnt at the stake than let anyone near her shopping) but other people like it. You have the option to avail yourself of it or not. It's a non issue.

I don't think anyone is miserable for not wanting to have someone pack their bags. I do think it's miserable to whinge about the fact the option is sometimes there. And huge grips needed for anyone who does.

YABU. They are only trying to raise money. You don't have to accept their help and you don't have to give money. I usually let them help me but if I don't want help, I politely decline and still donate.

Total first world problem

LRD, Okay, it is a faff, but will do my best.

Your message at 20:41...
You may not notice the price of items.
I do actually, and haven't said otherwise. My message at 20:36..
assuming most customers, when selecting their item(s) might not notice if something was 1p less/extra, they can afford 1p.

Your message at 20:41...
You might not feel bad giving a penny.
Haven't actually said this, but let's think...Hypothetically, I might not, if it was a charity I was not keen on for some reason. One week, when I had 36p to last a week, I would have done this and not felt bad. Agree that 'that is me'.

Your message at 20:41...
It should be perfectly ok just to say no.
Erm, totally agree. For example, at 20:24...
If they choose not to donate, fine, but please don't bring out the 'people can't afford it' argument.

Hope that brings some clarity.
I clearly have too much time on my hands and should go and pack some bags somewhere.
Apologies to other readers.

Ok ... do you notice that I've used 'may,' 'might' and 'should' in all of those?

And do you know what that means?

I'm not claiming you do these things. I'm suggesting that, even if you do, it's ok for others to do differently. It's perfectly plain English, and you've misunderstood it because you thought I'd written something I didn't.

Your post at 20:50 So yes, actually, you did say those things.
That is what I was answering.
In the spirit of the new happy clappy free lovin' AIBU, will leave it there.

How would bag packing organisers feel if bag packers were called in 'on request' but were - until then - away from the checkouts? Would that work for you?

Bag packers are always at the end of the checkouts and generally in the way as they're keen to be there so unless you actually ask them to move, they're just there and start grappling with your shopping unless you're quick.

Personally, I'd rather they weren't there. I don't want to contribute to non-charity activities because I'd be concerned at how the money is spent. No, nobody is forcing anybody but there is a huge expectation and that places obligation on the shopper.

If people truly wanted to give to whatever activity was being promoted, the bag packers wouldn't need to be there.

I seek out the Poppy people, the Macmillan people and Red Cross and so on. I want them to be present and able to accept donations and I'm in no way 'miserable'.

What the fuck is wrong with people? Has the misery guts fairy been again?

I won't go into the good works that the charity I bag pack for does

but

fucks sake is it so important for you to decide whether the veg is packed with the chicken or the fruit goes in with the crisps.

I think some people need to chill the fuck out and remember that it's three minutes out of your day to help those less fortunate.

And if you're really he'll bent on bring miserable, then just say no.

Christ on a bike

I have a system for packing my bags so if u do want to donate I ask the packers if they can load the conveyor belt instead.

If not, I just say no thanks and that I'd rather do my own packing.

I'm sorry, I have no idea WTF you are on about.

You quoted me; I responded.

You also said you think 'most' people don't notice if they spend an extra penny. That wasn't conditional or subjunctive - it was a generalization. And yes, you did say it.

I'm really sorry if I'm being rude, and you're struggling with my English, but honestly, I'm not quite sure how else to explain.

I see the 'thick-wit fairy' has dropped in...

?

I'm not struggling to understand you, LRD. I think this is just an example of polar opposite opinions.

I load the conveyor in the order I want so I can pack the items in the order I want so it can be unpacked on the order I want. Is that difficult to understand?? Yes, I know I'm anal !

I didn't think you were struggling to understand me, lying.

Maybe this is just an example of polar opposite opinions, but I do find it kind of gobsmacking that anyone thinks a polite 'no, thanks' isn't ok. I can't get my mind around it. Which is why I slightly object to 'thick-wit' if it was aimed at me.

1 I don't like people touching my stuff. Any of my stuff. I'm Aspie and when people touch my stuff it hurts me, kind of physically. A girl called Janet drew on my eraser in 1968 and I can still feel it.
2 Its not up to any business to decide when I will take part in a charitable activity. Yes, I can refuse (I do) but the intention of the organisers./business is that most people will go along with it and raise money for a charity not chosen by the person giving the donation. The situation does not promote giving from free-will, but has an element of coercion.
3 Very few people pack bags properly. I can, my daughter can, I'd guess LRD's mum can, but those in shops who know how and are willing, are rare and wonderful creatures worthy of treasuring, and brownies never can. Even the military cadets, whom you would think would have a briefing on this before being sent out in uniform to do it, make a really bad job of it.
4 If my bags are incorrectly packed, I will have a meltdown and tip everything out onto the counter again, pack for myself and make every fucker wait until I've done. I never pay until the bags are properly packed, to ensure there will be no bad behaviour by checkout staff. This (meltdown and checkout cheek) has happened so often it has become routine. I have strategies - I use the self-serve tills.

It might be a small thing to many people. But to me, its a challenge I don't need when I'm trying to get through my life and cope with my (invisible) disability.

Honestly

fucks sake is it so important for you to decide whether the veg is packed with the chicken or the fruit goes in with the crisps

This would REALLY upset some people out there who are very precious about their shopping for various reasons.

You might not appreciate it, or understand it, but I do think its more common, that people realise. There are enough threads on MN along the lines of things like "AIBU to not let X handle this, because of Y" or people being really bothered about things getting damaged.

People are strange creatures.

I just think its a high pressure charity practice, and I object to any tactic that falls into this category, because not all people are equal and who react in the same way to the majority on this thread. I don't see it as being pathetic in someway. Just different or having certain problems.

No it wasn't aimed at you are all, LRD, sorry if you thought it was.

So anyone who doesn't agree with you is thick, are they?

What a lovely attitude!

I'm sure my mum would be flattered, humble.

This is rapidly becoming one of the stranger threads I've been on lately. Which is quite an achievement for the topic, I guess.

Well I hate bag packers but then again I hate the checkout people too since they often want to make small talk. I hate anyone that wants to "stop me for just a few seconds" along with those that people that hover over the reduced section in a supermarket inspecting every single thing twenty times over, along with those that follow the woman/bloke around doing reductions picking up off the trolley saying "how much will this be" (a hang over from my own supermarket days), as well as anyone who knocks on my door for any reason unless I know them or are expecting them.

Really I suppose I should never go out and hide upstairs and I would be happy.

lying - that's what I was trying to figure out, rather slowly. Thanks.