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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate charity bag packers at supermarket checkout

215 replies

DameEdnasBridesmaid · 10/08/2014 15:25

I want to pack my own bag.
I want to choose who I give my charity donations to not feel obliged.
I think they are a bloody nuisance.

OP posts:
fairylightsintheloft · 10/08/2014 16:23

Fraidy that is ridiculous. Being propositioned for sex and being asked a perfectly straightforward question about shopping is different enough that actually it DOES matter. If you cant handle saying no in this situation then clearly there are some serious confidence / self esteem issues that need dealing with and are not a reason for this to be banned. As a PP said, I quite like the idea that kids are given the chance to earn some charity money doing something tedious and unexciting and useful - better that than giving them money to do a run or a swim or skydiving or something that is really a reason for them to have fun / get fit whatever. Seriously, "no. I'm fine, thanks" and a smile is all it needs. Also to the PP whose son is autistic and upset by them, mine is ASD too and I would love to ask people not to use the handryers in loos for example but know that realistically, he has to be able to cope with the fact that many things will happen to / near him that he cannot control. Its not pleasant to deal with meltdowns of course but this bag packing is not, in itself, an upsetting thing, it is a normal thing and you can just ask the person to stand away.

Pinot4me · 10/08/2014 16:29

I like to pack my own bags so I just say 'no thanks' and then give a donation anyway. It is getting ridiculous though. I went to my local sainsburys a while ago. I soon as I parked, I was greeted with 'car wash lady?', I then go to the store and an rac man is outside selling memberships, there is then someone rattling the tin thing in the foyer. As soon as I actually get inside, someone is trying to get me to sign up for a nectar card and then there is someone offering to pack my bags at the till...it drives me nuts!! I only popped in for blooming bread!

DramaAlpaca · 10/08/2014 16:30

If I don't want them to pack my bags I just tell them I prefer to pack my own. If I support the charity I'll donate anyway, if I don't I won't. I will always give to organisations my DC are or have been involved with or charities I support, but I won't be guilt tripped into giving if I don't want to.

I had one very annoying, pushy woman once who persisted in trying to pack my bags even though I'd asked her not to. She kept handling and rearranging my shopping at the end of the conveyor belt while I bagged it. She didn't get a donation and I told her why.

I have to agree with others that it's a vital fundraiser for many local groups round our way, especially the scouts and various sports clubs. In our local supermarket the most coveted days are the weekends running up to Christmas. The local rugby club made well over £1,000 in bag packing collections over three days before Christmas one year. I know because I helped count it Grin. The scouts do very well from it, too. These local groups are the ones I always support, and the DC, DH and I have done our share of the bag packing too.

ICanSeeTheSun · 10/08/2014 16:32

I love the scout ones, ds ask them a few questions and I chuck a couple of quid in the bucket. Those are days when shopping is not do bad

Aeroflotgirl · 10/08/2014 16:33

I would give them a donation and say no thanks!

Lonecatwithkitten · 10/08/2014 16:33

I am severely anally retentive about how the shopping is packed and can not bear it done by anyone else.
I politely decline and give a few pence.
I had one scout get a bit presumptuous at Christmas and start packing without asking and I had to say 'please don't pack my shopping I really don't like anyone else to do'. I then had unpack as there was fresh meat in with the washing powder - very wrong.

FraidyCat · 10/08/2014 16:47

Being propositioned for sex and being asked a perfectly straightforward question about shopping is different enough that actually it DOES matter

Not really relevant, but I would find being propositioned for sex by a stranger less unpleasant.

ObfusKate · 10/08/2014 16:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Groovee · 10/08/2014 16:49

I just say no thanks and if I have change may put a donation in.

I also hate having to do them when ds's scout group do their yearly one.

ObfusKate · 10/08/2014 16:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

edamsavestheday · 10/08/2014 16:52

Can't stand some random person who doesn't know how to pack bags grabbing my shopping. NO the eggs do NOT go on the bottom ffs.

ilovesooty · 10/08/2014 16:52

If that's the case Fraidy it seems to me that there is something very unusual going on and your reaction to charity bag packers is highly unlikely to be typical.

LaundryFairy · 10/08/2014 16:55

There was a thread abut this awhile back and someone made the suggestion that, if you prefer to pack your own bags, you could ask them to unload your trolley onto the belt instead.

TheReluctantCountess · 10/08/2014 17:00

You can't get them to unload your trolley if they are at the other end packing the shopping of the person in front of you.

Greyola · 10/08/2014 17:04

I'll dissent - they were a godsend when DS had a tillside meltdown at the end of a £200 party shop. I wish they were always there!

Original poster
DameEdnasBridesmaid · 10/08/2014 17:10

To those of you who say just say no - I do and I always give a donation but it doesn't mean to say I like it.

No doubt it is a massive fundraiser, as I guess a lot of people give because not to do is bloody awkward when they packers are stood there.

I have no problem with collections by the entrance but think this checkout practice should stop.

OP posts:
PrimalLass · 10/08/2014 17:14

It can be really, really difficult to raise money for small organisations. YABU.

oldiebutnctoday · 10/08/2014 17:22

Obfuskate - errr scouts is a proper charity!! At our local sainsbo's and also in our town centre only one charity is allowed per day to raise money which seems fair to me. At my ds scouts group they are always polite and are secretly pleased if people say no!

womblesofwestminster · 10/08/2014 17:22

I hate them too, the reason it is such a big earner for them is that people feel guilt tripped into giving to them.

THIS.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 10/08/2014 17:24

I agree that it's annoying to be approached unsolicited. As previous poster pointed out, there is always somebody - from the time you leave the car to the time you get to checkout - wanting money for something.

I think that if bag packers must be in the supermarket then it should be strictly 'opt in' and they should be stationed well away until called.

Most people can happily pack their bags without this 'help' and it is intrusive to always be put in the position of having to decline or put up with it. It's a relatively new convention and I actually don't want to fund groups, I give to charities, they have a need for the money. It's up to the parents to fund the groups their children are interested in, not for the groups to coerce shoppers into paying for an activity that 95% don't need or want.

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 10/08/2014 18:00

Do only the people with a connection to groups that bag pack like this and think its easy to say no? That's how it reads - everyone saying its fine and easy to say no etc. goes on to say a group they are connected with does it...

I am surprised to read that a rugby club got the prized Christmas spot and raised a thousand pounds in beer money - is this not limited to registed charities. Its not "a thing" where I live abd thete are volunteer run sports clubs run very well indeed in every other village... fund raing is all internal (mainly refreshment stands at the all day tournaments, which rake in loads) and donations requested for volunteer trainers' end of season presents etc. plus kit is sponsored.

PrimalLass · 10/08/2014 18:05

No, I don't particularly like it. And couldn't say no. But then I have been involved with community groups and know how hard they are to keep going, financially.

Janethegirl · 10/08/2014 18:09

I prefer to arrange stuff on the conveyor in the order I want to pack it, and I detest anyone else bagging it. So OP YANBU cos I'd be definitely worse.

morethanpotatoprints · 10/08/2014 18:09

I always say no thanks and will donate a couple of coppers if I have any or a bit more if its a charity I really like a lot.
Saying no thanks can't be that difficult and its the way they fund raise so YABVU.

MickeyLove1 · 10/08/2014 18:16

You know, these people are giving up their free time to raise cash for their organisation, it's generally frowned upon not to pitch in if it benefits everyone. If it's children the parents will have had to take them and pick them up. Most are not there through choice so give 'em a break, eh?