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AIBU?

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Original poster

To hate charity bag packers at supermarket checkout

215 replies

DameEdnasBridesmaid · 10/08/2014 15:25

I want to pack my own bag.
I want to choose who I give my charity donations to not feel obliged.
I think they are a bloody nuisance.

OP posts:
Original poster
DameEdnasBridesmaid · 10/08/2014 19:21

It's not just a case of saying no. It's a case of being put in a position whereby I have to say yes or no and give a donation that I object to. I always give a donation - even if it's a charity that I would not normally give to. I still object to being put in the position.

In my view it's the same as chugging.

OP posts:
TheAmazingZebraOnWheels · 10/08/2014 19:22

Hint to all those supporting kids doing this: if I'm sat in my wheelchair buying my stuff at a till where you don't have anyone packing don't shout across the store at kids on another checkout to "go pack for the lady in the wheelchair." Because I'd still appreciate being asked if I'd like my shopping packed, being that not being able to walk doesn;'t make me completely helpless and I might want to do it myself and point two I don't want you screaming about my disability all over fucking sainsburys thank you very much.

I do appreciate a hand to pack but it did wind me up something chronic when I was sat in chair and I could see a very wobbly older person at the other checkout who might have needed it more than I did

Catsize · 10/08/2014 19:25

I think there are some jolly miserable posting folk on this 'ere thread.
I am not too fond of the bag packing peeps, more because i am embarrassed to have someone do it to be honest.
I also like to pack methodically. However, my discomfort and packing foibles are trounced by the worthiness of the cause, and the fact that I would rather see teenagers doing something worthwhile and interacting than not.
Also, when I have done a big shop, it is useful sometimes, as I am generally tired and may have two tinies in tow.
As for not thinking the Scouts are a worthy cause, seriously?!

Catsize · 10/08/2014 19:27

I even donated to the charity with the missing apostrophe, and that really hurt. Grin
Ellas fund, or something similar.
Goodness knows who the girl is, and I didn't even have my bags packed as only had a couple of things, but happy to spare a few pence if people are prepared to give up their time to stand at the end of a till packing.

ObfusKate · 10/08/2014 19:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 10/08/2014 19:41

Catsize... So, people not appreciating this questionable service are 'miserable' are they? There are myriad reasons why some people don't like it. It doesn't make them 'miserable' and you wouldn't know whether they were anyway so who are you to say they are?

It's that kind of comment is what puts pressure on people who don't want to participate in this kind of thing but feel they ought to do so to avoid censure from judgemental people.

Pregnantberry · 10/08/2014 19:49

Agree with Catsize.

I don't agree with charities knocking door to door pressuring people into signing up for direct debits or any kind of hard fundraising like that, but for small charities and causes they would just fall out of existence if they didn't try to create some kind of presence for themselves, no matter how worthy their cause.

It's a horrible message to send to the children/teens who do it as well. They probably go into it thinking they are doing a great thing, raising money for some noble cause and helping people at the same time, and instead they just get snarled at by miserable and rude customers treating them as pests.

And then many people complain that young people are apathetic/lazy/disillusioned//ungrateful/whatever.

rookiemater · 10/08/2014 19:52

ObfusKate - the scout troop that DS is associated with was talking about raising funds to subsidise a trip abroad. This is however a trip that the relevant scouts have committed to ( i.e. the ones whose parents can afford it in the first place) so it does feel a bit unfair. However it would be really tricky to figure out a way to fund those less able to pay - how would they decide it and would they be able to pay for everyone who couldn't afford it.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 10/08/2014 19:54

I don't think saying a polite 'no, thank you' is sending a horrible message to children (and surely teenagers are old enough to understand?).

This is a relatively new thing so far as I know - when we were little we did other things to raise money, and I can't remember ever feeling awful that someone didn't want whatever we were selling so long as they were nice about saying no.

RedToothBrush · 10/08/2014 20:00

Catsize Sun 10-Aug-14 19:25:31
I think there are some jolly miserable posting folk on this 'ere thread.

I think thats very unfair, because one of the main consensus's on this thread is that people feel very pressurised and obliged to donate.

That's why its wrong. Because it puts people in a position where they have to be assertive to refuse.

It may be fine for me or you, but I object to it on the principle that people who struggle with being assertive or are perhaps are more vulnerable in some way. The group that spring most to mind here are some elderly people. Many of whom, may not actually be in a position to really afford to donate.

I do not have a problem with fund raising. I do have a problem with high pressure tactic fund raising which this is a form of.

Olga79 · 10/08/2014 20:11

At our local store they have a policy of only having bag packers on every other till.

It's very telling that people queue at the tills without bag packers when there are tills empty right next door.

Catsize · 10/08/2014 20:24

I have never had to place a donation directly into a bag packer's hand. I do not buy the argument that it is wrong because people cannot afford it etc. Nobody would know if you put £1 or 1p into a bucket. You cannot seriously suggest that someone who has just bought something in a supermarket cannot afford 1p? If they choose not to donate, fine, but please don't bring out the 'people can't afford it' argument.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 10/08/2014 20:27

I don't care whether you 'buy it' or not Catsize. Children do this because adults know it's the best way to achieve donations. It's cynical. Don't pretend it's anything else.

It DOES make some people feel very uncomfortable and it's completely unsolicited.

ObfusKate · 10/08/2014 20:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 10/08/2014 20:29

cat - but of course some people can't afford it. How is that an irrational argument?

Catsize · 10/08/2014 20:36

I very much understand the 'feeling obliged' thing, and I also know the 'can't afford' thing too well. However, assuming most customers, when selecting their item(s) might not notice if something was 1p less/extra, they can afford 1p. If they then berate themselves, that is awful, but does not negate the overall worthiness of the bag packing fraternity, in my humble opinion. As I have said, I don't really like it, but am happy to go with the greater good on this one, and I speak as someone with a bizarre anxiety thing at supermarket checkouts.

RedToothBrush · 10/08/2014 20:40

Its for the greater gooooooooooooddddddd

Hot Fuzz.

Nuff said.

route1 · 10/08/2014 20:41

I don't like it, especially when it's for things like football teams and scouts who have parents who can fund them. When I've just spent a painful amount on shopping and racked my brains about how to make my money go far enough for the week I really don't need to be asked for more. I always decline but always feel guilty about it so YANBU.

On the other hand I have never experienced anyone trying to grab my shopping to pack it or being rude about me saying no. One time after I had said no the boy was obviously bored hanging around and just broke into song spontaneously. I was so charmed I gave him some money anyway.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 10/08/2014 20:41

You may not notice the price of items. That's you. You might not feel bad giving a penny. That's also you.

No need to assume everyone is the same. It should be perfectly ok just to say no.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 10/08/2014 20:41

Grin at red.

ouryve · 10/08/2014 20:42

YABU.

It's possible to say no thankyou, I'd rather pack myself.

And I'll still give the boys some change to throw in the bucket, regardless, because they have given up their mornings to do this, after all.

HaroldLloyd · 10/08/2014 20:43

YABU. if people feel they are a imposition, why feel so guilty for saying no?

If you don't agree with them they are not such a guilt trip, unless it's your inner voice telling you your being a misery guts.

MrsMook · 10/08/2014 20:45

Our Brownies pack bags as it's by far the most efficient way we can get 7-10 year olds involved in their fundraising. By contrast, at the local fête, a long day with faff set up and packing has been known to do little more than break even on pitch costs. It gets the girls active in their community and is useful to people. Some say that they've got no change, and we're happy to continue to help them. The girls are supervised and given advice on how to pack, cold together, heavy things at the bottom.

It's wholly different to chugging. There's no commitment and no one is going to hound you to keep increasing what you give.

ObfusKate · 10/08/2014 20:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Catsize · 10/08/2014 20:47

LRD, I've not said any of those things, have I? Ah well, keep running the argument. I don't mind. Smile

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