Children weeing in gardens

[GirlWithTheLionHeart]

Not sure how I feel about it, so interested to see what you all think.

Friend came over yesterday with her ds (3yo), we were playing in the garden and he said he needed to go to the toilet. Friend says oh go to the back [of the garden] and wee there.

This happened twice. My toilet is actually closer than the back of the garden, which is quite long.

A couple of friends I've told were

Wsbu?

No, I'm not the little boys mother. OP said in her first post that the people she had told had been shocked. How very British hey? Moan about the woman involved to all of her friends, write an internet post about how offensive it all is.....but not say a word to her face!

It is a different situation; but the general (majority) attitude of all children even very small ones should pee in loos not outside is what has shocked me - I honestly thought the sight of a small child widdling in a bush mother helping them was generally accepted as just one of those things small DC do and didn't attract any opprobrium.

I honestly thought most people didn't care - obviously people DO and that's what's depressing me.

Now I know better.

I think there is a difference again trucks, and I think (understandably) you are being sensitive about this.

People are commenting on specific situations e.g. Peeing around people eating, or in private gardens, or on pavements, without permission, at an older age etc.

You can't apply those opinions to a 3 year old peeing in a bush.

And even if you could - you know and most people who would know your circumstances would know that DS comes first. Therefore the opinion of strangers matters not a bit.

I mentioned it to two friends fgs, calm down

Trucks People don't mind when it is an emergency, behind a bush or discrete.

I mind when no effort is made like myotherusername describes or when a 7/8 yo pissed up the side of my house because it was easier than going in from playing.

Its like the threads where people say 'it's only wee' when people pull out potties or change nappies at the tables in cafés. There is a time and a place.

The fairy I had similar when a boy aged about 6 or 7 from round the corner pee'd on the tree on our front lawn.... I'd forgotten about that until you said!

Trucks I wouldn't bat an eyelid at a small child peeing discretely in a bush where it is clearly an emergency - actually it would make me smile as it would bring back memories of my own boys when small - i don't get the view that's what people here including myself have an issue with.

It wouldn't bother me either!next doors cat does all its business in my garden so a child weeing is nothing!

She was doing you a favour. 3yo dc tend to spray their pee quite widely, and she was sparing you the cleanup job after he had done it. Also saving you some water.

I always encourage my dc to pee outside, far from where we are. I just can't face the amount of cleaning that would be required otherwise.

I admit that DS often wees in the garden (he's 3.8). It started when he was potty-training, and then with having a baby as well it was just easier than moving them both back in the house to go to the toilet. The downside is that now he will do the same in the park.

"She was doing you a favour. 3yo dc tend to spray their pee quite widely, and she was sparing you the cleanup job after he had done it. "

Possibly a separate issue but if a parent visited me with a three-year-old who they knew had a tendency to spray their pee liberally around the bathroom when they went, I'd expect the parent either to accompany them or at least pop into the bathroom afterwards and give it a quick wipe. Do people just leave their kids' pee for other people to wipe up?

ugh i wouldn't be happy.

emergency - fine. but otherwise he should use the loo!

next time i'd say 'actually i'd prefer it if he wee'ed in the loo.'

and that would be the end of it.

You have to teach good manners when your toilet training, it's confusing for a toddler to understand where they are supposed to wee it can get confusing. If t's not taught early, they will think nothing of doing it when they are older anywhere they want as that's how they have been taught . Garden wees fine if the child is potty training and it's an emergency, not just dropping their pants where they stand as they can't be bothered to use the toilet, disgusting!

Yanbu, but on the plus side, it will have been well flushed away today!!

Excellent for keeping cats and foxes away..

The act itself isn't the end of the world but taking liberties like that in someone else's garden is very rude. Next time they're over, make sure the first thing you do is to show them where the toilet is in your house. If your friend has any awareness at all she'll realise the point you're trying to get across.

Am not bothered by a 3yr old weeing outside at all.
Do think as a guest in your house she should have took him to the toilet as it's not her garden to decide to pee on and it's good manners for her as the adult.

Am really that people find a 3yr olds wee in itself so gross and disgusting though.

I often actively encourage my small boys to wee in the garden . They are usually filthy, covered in sand and mud, and the last thing I want is them traipsing through the house leaving muddy footprints (and handprints), smearing their grime over the sink and toilet handle, and leaving a trail of sandpit.

But I wouldn't tell them to wee in someone else's garden without first asking the host whether she minded. And I wouldn't even ask if they were clean enough to go inside.

Not a massive issue though, for me.

My son is 3 and we have little warning when he needs to wee so accidents if we don't get his pants down in time are the risk if we don't get his shorts down pronto, so we do a lot of weeing outside - he's 3, and if he has an accident enroute to the loo, your going to get wee in much more inconvenient places than the garden.

I'd like to get him to the loo everytime but it's not always possible if I'm struggling with his younger sister, buggy etc and also there's the challenge of finding a public loo so we do our fair share of outdoor wee's.

Apologies in advance if you've seen him. He's not going to do it forever and my logic Is if a dog has likely weed there before then its fair game for children.

I also let my 3 year old sit in a buggy sometimes and change my children's nappies in public places occasionally......... So yup, I'm one of these entitled mothers the daily mail is harping on about.

Exactly, ObfusKate - this was a case of a mother TELLING her child to wee in the garden, rather than go to use the host's indoor toilet, which was easily accessible. This is showing the mother up for her lack of manners, I think.

Totally different from a child having a wee behind a bush in an emergency because there is no loo available. Some people appear not able to grasp the difference. One is a caught-short emergency, the other is bad manners.

Presumably he didn't wash his hands afterwards. Yuk.

Exactly Evans, nothing wrong with having an outside wee is really desparate and no toilets nearby, but garden weeing, especially in school age children/adults, unacceptable and teaching them bad manners. Telling a child to wee in somebody else garden without asking is awful! It's not children's wee that is disgusting, but encouraging children to wee in gardens without asking the house owner.